I was yours from the moment I met you
by tancredi75
Summary: AU.When Emily's mother announces that she's getting married again, no one is happier than Emily. When she meets the daughter of her mother's fiance, there's an instant attraction from Emily's side but the daughter is already engaged. Better summary inside
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

**First I'd like to say that this is completely AU, the only characters from the show is Emily, JJ and Emily's mother Elizabeth Prentiss who's not an ambassador. Her relationship with Emily is very good and has always been in this story.**

**Secondly, I have taken the basic idea for this story from the trailer of a new Swedish movie that's called "Kyss mig" (kiss me). I haven't seen the actual movie yet, just the trailer but I can't wait to see it. However it will have to wait cause I want to finish this story first with my own plot before I see it :)**  
><strong>Basically the movie is about two women in their 30's, one is gay and the other straight. The straight woman's father and the gay woman's mother are getting married and on the father's 60th birthday party the two women meet for the first time and eventually starts to fall for each other. Which of course comes with complications when the straight woman's world is turned completely up side down.<strong>  
><strong>The only thing I know about what happens in the movie is from what I've seen on the trailer so if there's any swedes out there who's seen the movie and now read this, any scenes that are like scenes from the movie are strictly coincidental. I've just borrowed the basic idea for this cause it really stuck with me and then I made up my own plot and dialog.<strong>

**Here's a short description of my story, again it's completely AU:**  
><em><strong>When Emily Prentiss's mother Elizabeth announce that she's getting married again, 15 years after her divorce from Emily's father, no one is happier than Emily. When she meets the daughter of her mother's fiance, Jennifer Jareau, there's an instant attraction from Emily's side but Jennifer is engaged to Nathan. As the two women slowly get to know each other they gradually grow closer and eventually it develops into something more. Something that's stronger than either of them but it also causes a complete chaos. How will they handle their strong feelings for each other when there's so much at stake and other people is involved?<strong>_

**Rating:**

**I've set the rating on this fic for T but it will turn to M at some point, however I don't want to reveal when. I feel that when a T rated story gets an M rated chapter you all know what's going to happen and I kind of want the M rated chapter(s) to be a surprise. So if you don't want to read any M rated stuff then maybe you shouldn't read this fic just to be on the safe side. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, I'm just borrowing.**

**English isn't my first language so any spelling/grammar mistakes are all mine and I apologize in advance for any errors.**

**S****o here's the first chapter, it's a bit short but there's more, longer chapters to come :)**

**Anyway, enough of this super long A/N and on with the story. I hope you like it!**

**/ T**

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Chapter 1

Emily Prentiss was in her car on her way to her mother's engagement party. Her mother Elizabeth had, after her divorce from Emily's father 15 years ago, mostly been alone. Sure there had been a few nice men here and there but nothing ever turned into something serious. Emily chuckled thinking about the countless times she'd talked to her mother on the phone, it always turned into the same conversation: her mother's constant self pity about her non existing love life and that she would spend the rest of her life alone. Needless to say, it was a very surprised Emily who received a phone call from her mother two weeks ago. A mother who was bubbling with joy and excitement and Emily had a hard time trying to figure out what her mother was telling her through her squeals of joy. When she'd finally calmed down a little Emily would learn that her mother was in fact engaged to be married to a Mr. Jack Jareau and she was head over heels in love. Her mother had mentioned earlier that she'd met someone but it was still so new, knowing that most of her mother's _'I've met someone' _never turned into something more, Emily hadn't shown too much interest. So she had no idea who this Jack Jareau was, but by the sound of her mother he was someone who made her incredibly happy and that was all Emily needed to know. Later on she'd learned that Jack Jareau was a widower who'd like Elizabeth, been mostly alone since his wife past away 8 years ago. He was a sailor but due to a serious knee injury last year he had to leave the sea and was now retired. He also was a proud father of two children, a daughter and a son. He'd proposed to Elisabeth a month after they'd met on a cruise and now, Emily was on her way to finally meet this man and to celebrate with the rest of their family and friends.

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Emily turned off the engine and got out of the car. She retrieved her bag from the back seat and as she looked up at the house she saw her mother stepping out on the front porch. Elizabeth wrapped Emily up in her arms the second her daughter stood in front of her.

"I'm so glad you're here sweetie. You look beautiful." Elizabeth pulled away and gazed lovingly at her daughter.

She put her arm around Emily's shoulder and turned her towards the front door.

"Come on, let's get inside. I can't wait for you to meet Jack." Elizabeth said with a huge smile on her face.

Emily had to admit, her mother was absolutely glowing. She couldn't even remember ever seeing her this happy. They stepped inside and Elizabeth lead Emily in to the dining-room which was beautifully decorated with burning candles and newly picked flowers. The first word that came into her mind as she saw the room was 'perfect' cause it really was perfect. It wasn't too much but still it wasn't like any ordinary dinner setting. The whole atmosphere was so romantic and so much like her mother that Emily's heart just filled with warmth and she pulled her mother in for another hug.

"I'm so happy for you mom." Elizabeth smiled and held her daughter a little tighter.

"Now I'd really like to meet this man who's made my mother so happy." Emily continued.

"He's in the kitchen, I'll go get him." Elizabeth said.

A minute later her mother returned with her arm linked through her fiance's, beaming like never before.

"Emily honey, this is Jack. Jack, this is my daughter Emily." Before Emily had a chance to open her mouth, Jack had engulfed her in a big hug.

"Emily! I've heard so much about you! I'm so glad to finally meet you." Jack said and released the daughter of his fiancee.

"Nice to meet you too mr. Jareau, I've heard so much about you too." Emily said.

"Call me Jack please, 'mr Jareau' makes me feel old." Jack said.

Elizabeth put an arm around her fiance's waist and smiled. Emily watched the pair and saw how her mother looked at the man beside her and saw nothing but love.

"You have a lovely house Jack. Is there anything I can help you with now?" Emily asked.

"No, everything's finished. The guests will be here in about an hour so why don't you relax in the backyard for a while. You've had quite a drive." Jack said kindly.

"Okay, but if there's anything I can help you guys with, don't hesitate to ask." Emily said back with a smile.

"Thank you Emily, will do. Now go pour yourself a glass of wine and relax, take your mother with you. I'm sure you have some catching up to do." Jack said and kissed Elizabeth's cheek before he left the two women alone.

Elizabeth wrapped her arm around Emily's waist and walked them out to the backyard. Emily took a seat in the shadow under a huge oak tree while her mother went back inside to get the wine. It was a warm afternoon, Emily leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. She opened her eyes when she heard the chair next to her squeak and was met by her mother's warm smile.

"It's really beautiful here mom." Emily said and picked up the wineglass her mother had put down on the table in front of them.

"Yes, it is. I love being here. Jack bought this place a year after his wife passed away, he said the old house carried too many memories so he wanted a fresh start." Elizabeth said.

"I can understand that. So when will you be moving her?" Emily asked and winked at her mother.

"He asked me to move in after he asked me to marry him. We haven't decided if I'll move in before or after the wedding. There's no rush really, there's a lot to take care of. I have to sell my apartment and organize a lot of other things but honestly? I can't wait to move in here and start the rest of our lives together." Elizabeth said.

"You know I never thought I'd say this but I'm actually a little jealous of you. All those talks about never finding love and spending the rest of your life alone, look at you now. You're so happy and in love and I'm so so happy for you mom but now it's like _I'm _the one whos never going to find somebody to love." Emily said and took another sip of her wine.

Elizabeth reached for her hand.

"Just because you and Sarah didn't work out doesn't mean you wont find love again." Elizabeth said sincerely.

"I know, it's just… being surrounded by all this love just makes me wonder if I'll ever be lucky enough to find the same kind of love, you know? I loved Sarah but she wasn't the right one for me, we just weren't meant to be." Emily said.

Elizabeth leaned closer and placed a kiss on Emily's temple.

"You'll find it honey, I know you will. Look at me? The hopeless case is now about to get married. Who would've thought?" Elizabeth said with a smile. Emily chuckled and nodded.

"Yeah, who would've thought?" She said.

"Jack seems like a really nice man, and he's quite handsome too, for someone his age." Emily said and winked.

"Hey! He's only four years older than me, he's not _that _old." Elizabeth said resentfully.

Emily laughed.

"That means he's 62 mom, so yeah, that is a _bit_ old." Emily said and continued laughing. Elizabeth shoved her daughter playfully.

"Seriously though, I can tell he makes you very happy and I'm so happy for you. You deserve this mom and I can't wait for the wedding." Emily said.

Elizabeth was just about to respond when Jack appeared on the back porch calling for their attention.

"Elizabeth, Emily? My daughter and her fiance just arrived, I want you to come and meet them." Jack said brightly.

Emily and her mother left their wine glasses and walked up to Jack who lead them in to the house where his daughter and fiance was waiting.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 2.

As they entered the dining-room again Emily saw the back of two people. A tall dark haired man and a petite blonde woman. When Jack called out their names they turned around and as Emily looked at the blonde woman, Jack's daughter, she felt her breath caught in her throat. There was just something about that blonde woman, she was beyond beautiful but there was something more, something Emily couldn't pinpoint but just looking at her gave her a warm feeling inside. She almost missed when Jack called her name to get her attention.

"Elizabeth, Emily, this is my daughter Jennifer and her fiance Nathan." Jack said and then turned to his daughter.

"This is my Elizabeth and her daughter Emily." he continued.

Elizabeth instantly wrapped Jennifer up in a hug.

"So good to finally meet you Jennifer, I've heard so much about you." She smiled as she pulled back and looked at Jack's daughter.

She was strikingly beautiful with piercing blue eyes, just like her father.

"I'm glad to finally meet you too Elizabeth. This is Nathan, my fiance." Jennifer said and turned to her fiance who immediately stretched out his hand to say hello. Elizabeth however ignored his hand and pulled him into a hug as well.

"Nice to meet you Nathan." she said as she withdrew from the hug.

"You too Elizabeth." Nathan said and smiled.

Emily stood a bit behind her mother and watched them say hello to each other, her eyes strayed towards the blonde every other second, she just couldn't help herself. Suddenly she felt her mother's hand on her shoulder and heard her voice.

"Jennifer, Nathan, this is my daughter Emily." Elizabeth said proudly.

Emily smiled and took a step forward, Nathan held his hand out which she took and shock politely. Then her eyes turned to the left and instantly locked with a pair of the bluest eyes she'd ever seen. Her mouth suddenly felt dry and it felt like the temperature in the room had rapidly increased. There was a moments awkwardness as it appeared both women were a bit uncertain how to greet each other. A simple handshake or a hug? They were going to be stepsisters so why wouldn't they hug? Jennifer acted first and tentatively moved closer and gave her 'stepsister' a quick hug before looking back at her.

She was incredibly beautiful and as her eyes found the other woman's dark ones she suddenly felt a strange feeling in her body. She had no idea what it was or where it came from but she shook it off.

"Nice to meet you Jennifer." Emily said.

"Please, call me JJ, everybody does. And it's nice to meet you too Emily." JJ said and smiled.

Emily smiled back but as Nathan wrapped his arm around Jennifer's waist her smile faltered.

"Nathan, how about you and I go to the living room, I have a bottle of 12 year old Macallan that really needs to be opened." Jack said and put a hand on Nathan's shoulder.

"Sounds good Jack." Nathan said and followed his father-in-law into the next room.

"So, what do you girls say about some more wine in the garden before the rest of the guests arrive?" Elizabeth asked.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea Elizabeth." JJ said and smiled.

Elizabeth put an arm around each girls shoulder and led them back to the back yard. Emily tried to focus straight ahead but failed every time, she just couldn't help herself from turning her head slightly to get a glimpse of Jennifer. When they reached the place under the oak tree where Emily and her mother sat a while ago, Elizabeth removed her arms from the girls shoulders and motioned for them to take a seat.

"I'm just gonna go and get you a glass Jennifer, I'll be right back" Elizabeth said with a smile before she turned and walked back into the house.

Both women followed her with their gaze and when she disappeared into the house they glanced at each other.

"So..." Emily started.

"So..." JJ repeated.

"Do you also live here in Milwaukee? "Emily asked, trying to keep a conversation going.

"No, we live in Green Bay, about two hours away. You?"

"I live in Chicago" Emily answered.

"Oh so you're a big city girl then?" JJ said with a smile.

Emily laughed.

"Yeah I guess you could say that but I love getting away from the big city chaos every now and then. Mom has a cottage by lake Minocqua so I spend a lot of my free time there." Emily explained.

JJ nodded.

"It's really nice there, though I haven't been there in years now but I remember it was really beautiful."

"It is, you should come visit there sometime." Emily started.

"I mean you and Nathan." she finished.

"Yeah? That would be wonderful." JJ said sincerely and was struck by how quickly she'd come to like this woman.

"When are you and Nathan getting married?" Emily asked and felt a pang in her heart the moment the words left her mouth. She had no idea why but she really didn't want to know when this gorgeous woman was getting married.

"We haven't set a specific date yet but in a couple of months. It will not be before dad and your mom's wedding." she answered.

"Are you married?" JJ asked.

_Why am I asking this? Of all the things in the world we could small talk about I just had to ask if she's married._

"No, I'm not married. I'm not even dating anyone at the moment and with the laws in this country marriage really isn't on the map for me." Emily said, suddenly feeling like she'd said too much by the look on Jennifer's face.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be so blunt and just dump that information on you. I'm sorry..." Emily said a little meekly.

JJ was still processing what Emily just said and what she meant by it when it clicked.

"You're gay..." It was more a statement than a question.

"Yes, sorry I didn't mean to come out to you like this, not that I'm not out. I'm very out and I'm not ashamed of who I am it's just I don't usually come out to people I've just met like within the first half hour and-" JJ put a hand on Emily's arm to stop the rambling woman.

"Emily! Emily? Calm down, take a breath." Emily met Jennifer's eyes and immediately she was silenced and completely mesmerized.

"I was rambling wasn't I?"Emily asked a little embarrassed and was very aware of the hand still holding her arm.

"Maybe just a little."JJ said and winked.

"But really Emily it's totally fine, I have absolutely no problem with you being gay and I appreciate your honesty. Even if it wasn't your intention to come out to me right away, I'm glad you did. We're going to be 'sisters' soon anyway." JJ continued and instantly that funny feeling she'd managed to push away, returned.

Something about referring to herself and Emily as sisters, even though they weren't biologically related felt, well wrong. That was the only word she could think of to describe it but she had no idea why.

Emily looked down at her lap and tried to ignore the little voice in the back of her head that was telling her the reason she didn't want to be Jennifer's stepsister. She was very grateful when Elizabeth chose that exact moment to return with a wineglass for Jennifer and some more wine.

The three women sat outside and enjoyed the summer breeze and each others company until it was time to go back inside as the rest of the guests were starting to arrive.

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During dinner Emily had a hard time keeping herself from seeking out Jennifer. The truth was she failed completely. Every now and then as she looked up towards where Jennifer was sitting she caught the blonde woman looking back at her but in a wink of an eye she'd averted her eyes.

Jennifer didn't know what was wrong with her, why couldn't she stop looking in Emily's direction? A few times she noticed that Emily was looking back at her and when their eyes met for a split second Jennifer looked away quickly, hoping the other woman hadn't caught her staring at her.

By the time dessert was finished people had started to mingle, some were dancing and Emily had walked back out to the garden to get some air. She was sitting in the garden swing with her head tilted back slightly, gently swinging back and forth while looking up at the beautiful evening sky.

"Hey..."

Emily sat up and looked to her right, Jennifer was standing beside the swing with two wineglasses in her hands.

"Are you okay?" the blonde asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just getting some air and then I kind of got stuck here in the swing. It's insanely relaxing." Emily said and smiled.

Jennifer smiled back and took a step closer to the swing.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked.

"No not at all." Emily answered and gestured for Jennifer to take a seat.

"I brought some wine if you want?" JJ said tentatively.

"Thank you, I'd love some." Emily said and took one glass from Jennifer's outstretched hand.

Her fingers brushed over Jennifer's and both women simultaneously looked at each other. Emily knew she held Jennifer's gaze for far too long but she couldn't look away. Jennifer was feeling exactly the same yet she did nothing to break the spell they seemed to be under. The sound of someone calling Jennifer's name brought the two women back to reality.

"JJ? Are you out here?" Both Emily and JJ looked over to the back porch and saw Nathan standing there, apparently a little tipsy.

"Yeah I'm here." JJ answered.

"Come back inside babe, I wanna dance with you."

"In a minute Nate, I was just about to sit down and talk with Emily. Go back inside, I'll be there in a while." JJ said and wondered why she was feeling slightly irritated that her fiance had interrupted them.

Interrupted what exactly? She couldn't quite explain that part but she felt interrupted.

"Sorry about that." she said and sat down on the swing beside Emily.

"It's fine." Emily said, she had no idea why Jennifer was apologizing.

"No need to apologize." she continued.

JJ looked at her and smiled then looked down at the wineglass in her hand.

"It's a nice party." Emily started.

"Yeah, they're really happy. I haven't seen my dad this happy since before my mom died."

"My mom calls me every week and for the past I don't know... 5 years or so, every call has started with how she'd never find anyone. She's made me promise her to look after her and take her out on trips when she's old and lonely." Emily said and chuckled.

"So when she called and told me she was getting married, no one was happier than me." she continued.

"I can understand that. I never thought I'd see dad smile again, like really smile, the way he smiles when he looks at your mother." JJ said.

Emily looked up and met her eyes, she smiled.

"I can tell he makes her really happy, he seems like a really nice guy." Emily said.

"He is and I'm so glad he met Elizabeth, they really are perfect for each other." JJ said.

"I'll drink to that." Emily said and clinked their glasses together.

"So, Emily Prentiss, what do you do for a living?" JJ asked and put her left arm up on the backrest and turned slightly towards Emily.

"I'm actually an FBI agent." Emily said and took another sip of her wine.

"No way? For real?" Jennifer exclaimed.

"That's so cool, wow... I'm so impressed!" she continued, honestly feeling really impressed by the woman before her.

Emily laughed.

"It's not _that_ impressive." Emily said.

"Are you kidding me? It definitely is, I mean it's the FBI!" JJ said ecstatic.

"It's my job." Emily said and shrugged like it was like any other job.

"So what do you do? Or are you not allowed to say that?" JJ asked curious.

"No, I'm allowed." she just couldn't help but smile at the adorable blonde beside her.

"I work in a terrorism task force, we run down potential terrorism leads and proactively identifies threats that may impact the area and the nation." Emily explained.

"And that's not impressive?" JJ wondered with a smirk.

"Anyway, what about you Jennifer Jareau? What do you do?"

"Ugh, I don't even wanna tell you now that I know what you do." JJ answered and finished her wine.

Emily nudge her arm lightly.

"Come on." Emily nudge her again and smiled.

"Alright alright, let me just get some more wine first. I'll be right back." She got up from the swing and hurried back to the house.

**A/N**

**Thanks for the reviews and alerts, I really appreciate it! **

**I hope I got the geography part somewhat right. Since I've never traveled further than Scandinavia's borders, google is my friend :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 3

Emily watched her go and just couldn't stop smiling. Within a minute the blonde returned with a bottle of wine.

"That was fast!" Emily said.

"Refill?"

"Please." Emily lifted her glass and JJ filled up her glass then her own before putting the bottle down on the lawn and resumed her position in the swing.

"So, what do you do?"

"I thought maybe you would've forgotten about that question by the time I returned." JJ said.

"What? You were gone for like 30 seconds. Come on already, just tell me." Emily pushed.

"Fine, I work for an insurance company. It's not the most glamorous job in the world but it pays well and I have every weekend off so...I have great colleagues and overall, I like it there. " JJ said.

Emily nodded as she took a sip of her wine.

"That's great Jennifer, the main thing is that you like your job then it doesn't really matter what you do. And I'd say working for a insurance company is impressive." Emily said.

"Please, interesting maybe but definitely not impressive." JJ countered.

"I think _you're_ interesting..." Emily half whispered. The words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

_That was **so** not what I'd planned to say... dammit!_

Thankfully Jennifer rescued the situation before it would get awkward.

"Well I think you're interesting too, agent Prentiss." JJ said back with a smile and Emily thanked God Jennifer didn't read anything more into that sentence.

"Tell me more about yourself." JJ put her legs up on the swing and turned so she was facing the brunette.

"What do you wanna know?" Emily asked and put her elbow up on the backrest and put her hand behind her neck and rubbed it slowly as she turned towards Jennifer.

"I don't know." JJ pondered for a while.

_Do I go there? No. Yes, why not? She said she was out..._

"When did you realize you were gay?" JJ said softly, hoping that she wasn't too blunt.

"Wow, you just jump straight to it don't you?" Emily said playfully and JJ was relieved she hadn't overstepped any boundary.

"Yep, I'm pretty straightforward." JJ said and winked.

Emily laughed.

"Indeed you are. But okay. I think somewhere deep down inside I always knew I was gay but it wasn't until my first year in college that I actually admitted it to myself. When I finally realized who I was it actually wasn't a hard thing for me to accept. I just felt so relieved that there wasn't anymore confusion, it was like all the pieces of the puzzle finally fitted together. I called my mother the morning after the new realization had hit me. My mom and I have always been close, I'm an only child and for as long as I can remember I've turned to her first with my problems and she's always helped me solve them. So calling her to tell her I was gay wasn't something I dreaded. I knew she'd be okay with it and the first thing she said to me when I told her was that she'd always love me no matter what and that she'd thought I would've called her sooner to tell her this news." Emily chuckled.

"She already knew?" JJ wondered.

"Yes, she'd known for years and the second thing she said was that a woman she worked with had a gay daughter and that she would arrange for us to meet. It took me a while to get out of that one."

JJ laughed, amazed by this woman. You'd think coming out to your parent would be the hardest thing you'd ever do but luckily there were stories that showed the complete opposite.

"I'm so looking forward to getting to know your mother more, she sounds like quite a remarkable woman." JJ said sincerely.

"That she is." Emily said with a smile starting to really feel the effect of the wine now.

"So, what happened that made you come to the realization that you were actually gay?" JJ wondered.

"I had always found women attractive but never thought anything more about it, I had boyfriends in high school but it never felt right being with them. It wasn't until I got a roommate that first semester in college that it hit me. Her name was Jill and the moment I saw her she literally took my breath away, she was ridiculously beautiful and so nice. Anyway, she became my roommate and we got along great. We hung out everyday after our classes had finished and went out to clubs together. It was after a night out with maybe a few too many tequila shots that we ended up kissing when we got back to our room. We'd been touching and flirting the entire evening but I was still a bit shocked when she kissed me, then as I kissed her back everything just fell into place and I realized I liked women."

Jennifer listened intently.

"She was my first with, well everything regarding dating a girl. We dated for a year then she got a scholarship and had to transfer to another college. We tried the whole long distance thing for a while but eventually it just sorta ended."

JJ nodded and looked at the brunette. She really was beautiful, there was no denying that and she was taken by surprise by how easy it was to like her. She felt completely comfortable in Emily's presence and she'd only met her just a couple of hours ago. That wasn't something that happened often in JJ's life, usually she was pretty reserved and it took a while for her to let somebody in. With Emily though she felt like she'd already done that and it actually felt okay, more than okay actually.

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>They continued talking and completely forgot about time as they slowly got to know each other. JJ told Emily about her mother and how she passed away while Emily listened intently. There was just something about this woman, she still couldn't pinpoint it but she found her intriguing and was drawn to her in a way that scared her a little.<br>They'd been interrupted again by Nathan who'd become pretty intoxicated and again requested a dance from his fiancee. Jennifer had declined again telling him he was too drunk, if he'd sobered up she'd consider dancing with him later. The truth was she had no intention of leaving the swing and Emily, she was enjoying talking to the other woman far too much. Emily was glad Jennifer choose to stay outside with her, she was having a great time in her company. She only left her briefly to go to the bathroom and get them some more wine.

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"So you have a brother? But he's not here right?" Emily asked.

"Yes I have a brother, Michael, and no he's not here. He's a year younger than me and he's currently in Paris. His girlfriend lives there and he's been there for about a month now. They will be here for the wedding though" JJ explained.

"I see, well I'm looking forward to meet him. If he's anything like you I'm sure I'll like him." Emily said and put her hand on JJ's arm. The effect of the wine really started to make her say and do things that she'd normally wouldn't, especially not after only knowing the person in question for a couple of hours.

Jennifer got a warm feeling inside her chest when she heard Emily say that and for some reason her whole arm started to tingle from Emily's touch. She looked up and met Emily's eyes and suddenly it was like everything else around them disappeared. She no longer heard the sound of music and people talking from inside the house. All she heard was the sound of her own heart beating and it was beating a hell of a lot faster than it used to. All she could see was Emily's deep brown eyes that were looking intensely at her and all she could feel was the featherlight touches coming from Emily's thumb as it slowly, excruciatingly slowly, moved back and forth over her arm.

Emily had no idea what she was doing, her brain screamed at her to remove her hand from Jennifer's arm but she just couldn't do it. It was as if her hand suddenly had turned into lead and it was physically impossible to remove it and why..._oh my God_ WHY were her thumb moving over that incredibly soft skin?

"Girls?"

A voice calling from the back porch brought them back to reality and Emily carefully withdrew her hand. She dared to cast another glance at Jennifer who met her eyes before they both turned their attention towards the back porch where Emily's mother was standing.

"Yes mother?" Emily called back.

Elizabeth left the porch and walked down to the girls on the swing.

"There you are, are you two planning on coming back inside anymore tonight or?" she asked jokingly.

Emily quickly got up from the swing.

"Yes, as a matter of fact we were just on our way back inside. I believe Jennifer has promised to dance with her fiance." Emily said not looking at the blonde.

Actually she really didn't want to go back inside but after the 'moment' she just had with Jennifer she really needed to distance herself from the blonde a little before she would do something she definitely would regret.

"Well, sorry to disappoint sweetie but your fiance has gone to bed, well he was carried to bed to be precise." Elizabeth explained and looked at Jennifer.

"Great..." JJ muttered as she got up as well.

"Most of the guests has started to leave. I've prepared some snacks in the kitchen if you two are hungry, you've been out here quite a while." Elizabeth said.

Emily checked her watch and was surprised to see what time it was. They'd spent five hours outside in the garden swing, just talking. It sure hadn't felt like five hours.

"Wow, is it this late?" Jennifer said surprised when she checked her phone for the time.

Emily looked at her.

"Yeah, I totally lost track of time." she said.

"You and me both." JJ said and smiled.

"I'm so glad you two are getting along so well." Elizabeth said brightly.

Emily and JJ glanced at each other but didn't say anything.

"Come on then, let's go inside and get something to eat shall we?"

Both women nodded and followed Elizabeth back into the house.

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Emily drank a large glass of water in the kitchen, she felt like maybe she'd had just a little too much wine for one evening and she should really start sobering up. Not that she was _that _drunk but enough intoxicated for her own liking.  
>As she put the glass down on the counter Jennifer and Elizabeth walked into the kitchen and headed straight to the little snack buffet. Emily joined them.<p>

"This looks really good mom, I'm actually really hungry."

All three women took a seat by the kitchen table. Though it had been a wonderful party, Elizabeth was quite relieved that the party was over. She was really tired and her feet hurt from all the dancing, she couldn't wait to go to bed.

"Do you need any help cleaning up Elizabeth?" Jennifer asked.

"Thanks for asking Jennifer but it's really late so we'll deal with the cleaning up tomorrow. The last guests have left so let's just go to bed and then we'll handle the cleaning up in the morning." Elizabeth said and stifled a yawn.

"Sounds like a good idea. Why don't you head up to bed? Emily and I can put the food away before we go to bed and lock up." Jennifer suggested.

"I think I might take you up on that offer Jennifer. Jack's already gone to bed, his knee started to hurt after all the dancing so I sent him upstairs about an hour ago." Elizabeth said and smiled.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" she continued.

"Go to bed mom, we'll handle the rest." Emily said and got up from her seat to give her mom a goodnight kiss on the cheek.

"Alright alright. See you tomorrow girls. Goodnight." Elizabeth said and hugged both women goodnight before she headed upstairs.

Emily and JJ started to put the food away in silence. Emily couldn't help but think back to the moment they had in the swing. She glanced over at Jennifer who was cleaning the counter and remembered how soft her skin was, all she wanted was to touch that skin again. She shook her head to get those thoughts out of her mind.

"Emily, do you mind locking up?" JJ asked.

"No, I'm on it." Emily answered and left the kitchen.

The moment the door closed JJ dropped the washcloth and put both hands on the counter and leaned on her arms as her head dropped. She took a deep breath, she had no idea what was happening and why she felt like there was a wave of new emotions going through her body. She sighed and picked up the washcloth and threw it in the sink before she decided to walk out to the dining-room to see if Emily needed help with anything.

At the same time JJ was about to open the door Emily was coming back to the kitchen and when JJ opened the door it took Emily completely by surprise and she stumbled through the doorway straight into an equally surprised Jennifer who managed to catch the tripping woman in her arms.

Emily had grasped JJ's upper arms while JJ held on to the taller woman's waist. When the initial shock subsided and they looked up they realized their proximity. Their faces were mere inches apart and they could easily feel each others ragged breaths on their faces.

**A/N**

**I know I'm a bit of a tease for leaving you there but the next chapter will be up some time this weekend so you wont have to wait too long ;)**

**Thank you for all reviews and alerts, I'm so glad you're liking this, I have to say I'm having a really fun time writing it.**

**I really like to reply personally to everyone who sign in to leave a review so TotallyMe1994: I couldn't reply to your reviews cause your PM is disabled so I just wanted to say I'm glad you're liking this and I will definitely keep writing. I have so many ideas for this.**

**Also a huge thanks to everyone who reviews anonymously, I appreciate all of you and I'm really happy you're enjoying this story.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply. **

Chapter 4.

Emily swallowed hard as her eyes met Jennifer's. Standing this close she could really see how incredibly blue her eyes was and how easy it would be to get completely lost in them. It took every ounce of willpower she had to take a step back and away from Jennifer's arms. She took another step back to recompose their personal space. Jennifer realized she'd been holding her breath and as Emily backed away from her she slowly exhaled.

"I'm so sorry Emily, I didn't know you were right outside the door." she said when the air returned to her lungs.

"It's okay, I didn't mean to stumble all over you." Emily said afraid to met the blondes eyes again.

"It's okay..." JJ didn't know what else to say.

"Well, I think I'm gonna go to bed." Emily said.

"Yeah, me too." JJ replied.

Emily looked up and met the blondes eyes again.

"See you tomorrow." Emily said and turned to leave but stopped. Slowly she turned around again.

"I had a really nice time tonight. It was great talking to you..." she just had to say it.

"I had a really nice time too and I also enjoyed talking to you..." JJ said.

She wanted to give Emily a hug goodnight but didn't know if she should but as Emily looked up and met her eyes again she took a step closer and pulled the other woman in for a hug. Emily was surprised by Jennifer's actions but it only took her a split second to hug her back.

"Goodnight Emily..." JJ whispered.

"Goodnight Jennifer..."

JJ had only intended to give Emily a quick hug but for some reason she still had her arms around the other woman. Both women silently realized that they'd hugged for way longer than a 'normal' hug between friends but still they didn't let go of each other.

Jennifer again felt a new wave of emotions running through her and honestly, it scared the hell out of her. She slowly started to pull away and Emily instantly followed her lead and pulled back as well.

"See you tomorrow." JJ repeated Emily's previous words and walked out of the kitchen leaving a very confused and a little flustered Emily behind.

"Yeah... see you tomorrow..." Emily mumbled to herself as her mind tried to figure out just what the hell was happening.

She pulled her hands through her hair and then headed out to the guesthouse in the backyard where she'd be staying.

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JJ brushed her teeth before she walked into her and Nathan's room where her fiance was snoring violently. She crawled into bed and gave him a push so he would turn over and hopefully stop snoring but unfortunately the turning didn't help. She sighed and laid back down on her pillow, staring up at the ceiling.

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Emily undressed, brushed her teeth and crawled into bed hoping sleep would claim her quickly but she wasn't really surprised when it didn't. There were too many thoughts running through her mind for her to even think about falling asleep. She'd never met anyone that had made such a strong impression on her so fast before. She'd never met anyone like Jennifer before...

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Jennifer couldn't sleep. The last time she looked at the digital clock on the nightstand was 5 minutes ago, 4.26 am was flashing back at her. She sighed and shoved her still snoring fiance for the umpteenth time. His snoring wasn't the reason for her insomnia though, Emily was. The brunette FBI agent just wouldn't leave her mind. She thought about the agent thing, she still couldn't get over how impressed she was by it. That wasn't all she thought about though, her mind kept wandering back to when Emily had touched her arm on the swing but mostly to the incident in the kitchen where Emily literally stumbled into JJ's arms. Her breath had caught in her throat and she'd felt all tingly. Then the goodnight hug... She really hadn't planned for it to be so long, it was definitely way longer than a quick hug between friends and **definitely** longer than a hug between two people who just met. Then there was all these new feelings that confused the hell out of her.

When Nathan begun snoring louder than ever that night, she'd had enough. She got out of the bed and put on a pair of sweat pants and a hoodie and walked downstairs. The kitchen clock showed 4.51 am. It was ridiculously early but she'd given up any chances of sleep for this night. She put on some coffee and walked over to the window fronting the back yard. Sitting in the swing with a large blanket wrapped around her was Emily.

When the coffee percolator had finished Jennifer poured two large cups of coffee and walked out to the back yard. Emily looked up when she heard the creaking from the back door and couldn't help but smile when she saw the reason for her insomnia walking towards her with two cups in her hands.

"Hey..." JJ started.

"Hey.."

"Coffee?" JJ asked.

"Oh _yes please_!"

Jennifer smiled at Emily's enthusiastic answer and handed her one cup.

"Can I join you?" she asked.

"Of course." Emily answered and made space for the blonde on the swing.

"So you couldn't sleep either?" Emily asked and took a small sip of the warm beverage, closing her eyes as the taste of coffee slipped down her throat.

"_God_ this is good. Thank you for this." Emily said and took another sip.

JJ smiled as she sipped on her own cup.

"You're welcome and no, I couldn't sleep either. Nathan is snoring like... I don't even know what to compare it with. Let's just say it's **really** loud." JJ said.

Emily chuckled.

"I gave up about half an hour ago and came out here hoping that maybe the swing would rock me to sleep eventually."

"Oh... I'm sorry, I can go back inside if you want to try and get some sleep." JJ said and moved to get up from the swing.

"NO!" Emily all but shouted.

"I-I mean, no. That's not what I meant, I've already given up on sleeping and it's morning now anyway so... Please stay..." Emily said softly.

Jennifer met her eyes and could only nod. Emily gave her a small smile when she sat back on the swing. The morning air was a little chilly so Emily offered a piece of her blanked to the blonde which she accepted.

"How long are you staying?" JJ asked.

"I'm going back home in the afternoon." Emily answered.

JJ nodded and felt her chest tighten at the thought of not spending more time with Emily. They've only just started to get to know each other.

"Are you and Nathan staying longer?"

"Yeah, we've got three weeks vacation coming up so we'll be here for a couple of more days." JJ said.

"I work one more week then I have two weeks off. I can't wait!" Emily said and smiled.

Emily really had the most infectious smile, JJ couldn't help but smile back.

"Any vacation plans?" JJ wondered.

"Not really, I'll probably spend a couple of days at mom's cottage but other than that I haven't made any direct plans." Emily said and took a large gulp of coffee.

Their very easy conversation about anything and everything were starting to die down and slowly the effect of their lack of sleep started to take its toll. Emily had sunk further down into the cushions of the swing and was now half-sitting, half-lying with her head on the large pillow she'd brought with her. She was very close to falling asleep, Jennifer had already dozed off sitting, her head slightly tilted back. Seconds later Emily was asleep as well.

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Elizabeth was the first one up the next morning, or so she thought. It was a little after 8.30 am when she walked into the kitchen to put some coffee on. She was surprised to see that the percolator was already on and apparently the coffee was done.

"This is strange..." she mumbled.

Jack was still asleep and the rest of the house was quiet. She walked over to the window and peered out into the backyard and was very surprised with what she'd find there. Her daughter, sound asleep in the swing and her soon-to-be stepdaughter equally asleep with her head leaning against Emily's shoulder. It wasn't a very large swing, definitely not suitable for a two-people-sleepover, not if you'd want to sleep somewhat comfortable. The positions of the two sleeping women would most definitely leave them with very sore necks so Elizabeth made her way out there to wake them up.

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When she reached the sleeping women and saw the look of complete and utter peace on her daughter's face she contemplated whether she should let them sleep. She thought about it for a second but decided that they would probably be grateful for escaping a sore neck so she should probably wake them. Then she glanced over at the sleeping blonde who looked just as peaceful and decided to leave them be. She tiptoed back into the house and poured herself a cup of coffee.

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20 minutes later Emily started to stir. She moved to stretch her arms but her right arm was stuck. She turned her head and warmth filled her body at the sight of Jennifer sleeping against her right side with her head on Emily's shoulder. Strands of beautiful blonde hair had fallen down on her face and before Emily knew what she was doing her hand was moving towards Jennifer's face and then she gently tucked blonde curls behind her ear. The movement made JJ stir and Emily quickly removed her hand hoping the blonde hadn't noticed her previous actions.

JJ slowly sat up, stretched out her arms and yawned.

"I fell asleep.." she mumbled.

"Yeah... me too." Emily said and also stretched her arms now that her right arm was no longer occupied.

JJ turned and looked over at Emily and it dawned on her that she'd been sleeping against Emily's shoulder. She noticed a small damp patch on Emily's sweater, on her shoulder where JJ had been asleep a minute ago and embarrassment filled her. She'd drooled on Emily in her sleep.

_Oh my God let me die now... _

Her hands flew up to Emily's shoulder and started to rub at the spot as if it miraculously would make the drool disappear. Emily looked at JJ questioningly.

"Jennifer? What are-"

"I drooled on you in my sleep! I'm sooo sorry, I'm so embarrassed..." JJ burst out while she frantically rubbed the spot on Emily's sweater.

"Wait, what? Jennifer?" Emily grabbed Jennifer's hands to stop her. The blonde looked up and met her eyes.

"Hey... it's okay. Really, it's no biggie." Emily said softly and slowly released her hands.

"I'm really embarrassed..."

Emily nudge her playfully.

"Really, it's okay. I take it you slept okay then?" Emily said playfully which made JJ nudge her back.

"Like you said, it's insanely relaxing."

Emily laughed.

"Come on Newfie, let's go back inside." Emily joked and got up from the swing. JJ's jaw dropped and she looked at the brunette.

"You did NOT just say that?" JJ said and got up from the swing. Emily was a few feet ahead of her grinning from ear to ear, obviously pleased with her witty remark.

"You did NOT just resemble me to a Newfoundland dog?" "

"What? They drool too." Emily smirked and winked then took off towards the house when the blonde made an attempt to grab her.

"You! Get back here!" JJ yelled after the brunette who had now reached the back door and continued to sprint towards the kitchen.

Elizabeth who was still sitting by the kitchen table, reading a newspaper almost had a heart attack when Emily came flying through the kitchen door. Five seconds later Jennifer came flying through the door her aim set on Emily but when she saw that they weren't alone she stopped herself and just gave the brunette a deadly stare. Emily couldn't help but smile, the blonde looked absolutely adorable.

"What in God's name is up with you two?" Elizabeth asked bewildered.

"Nothing mom." Emily answered completely innocent.

Jennifer didn't want to tell Elizabeth that she'd drooled on her daughter, she was embarrassed enough already so she let it drop for now but she would definitely find time for pay back later. When Emily met JJ's eyes they told her just that.

"So, do you mind telling me why I found both of you sleeping in the swing this morning?" Elizabeth asked.

"I mean it's great that you two seem to get along so good already but surely your beds must be more comfortable than that garden swing?"

"I couldn't sleep last night so finally I gave up and brought my pillow and blanket to the swing, hoping I could get some sleep there. Then Jennifer came outside a while after me and she couldn't sleep either so we just started talking and then, somehow we both fell asleep." Emily explained as she poured herself a fresh cup of coffee.

"Do you want one?" she asked Jennifer.

"Yes please." JJ answered.

"And just now, we were just goofing around." Emily said with a shrug and poured Jennifer a fresh cup of coffee too. Elizabeth nodded.

The kitchen door opened and Jack entered followed by a very hung over looking Nathan. He walked up to JJ and kissed her on the cheek.

"Morning babe." he said, JJ flinched.

"God Nathan how much did you drink last night?"

He smelled like an alcohol distillery.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to drink that much it just sorta happened." Nathan tried to explain.

"Yeah well go take a shower and brush you teeth please." JJ ordered.

"I've already brushed my teeth." Nathan said.

"Well, brush them again." she said and waved her hand in front of her nose to whisk away the smell of his old alcohol breath.

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Nathan did what his fiancee asked him to and when he returned they all ate a huge brunch that Elizabeth had made, then they all helped clean up the house before they went outside to relax in the sun for a while. Jennifer kept casting glances at Emily who was taking a nap in the sun-lounger, she knew she should stop but she couldn't help herself.

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A couple of hours later Emily put her bag in the trunk and walked back to the front porch where her mother, Jack, Jennifer and Nathan was standing to say goodbye.

"It was so nice to finally meet you Emily." Jack said and gave her a big hug.

"You too Jack, hope your knee feels better." Emily said as they parted.

"Thank you, I have the best 'nurse' to look after me." He said and put his arm around Emily's mother.

Nathan stepped forward and gave Emily a quick hug.

"Really nice to meet you Emily, hopefully we'll see you again soon."

"Yeah, it was nice to meet you too Nathan. Take care."

Elizabeth gave her daughter a long hug.

"Call me when you get home."

"I will mom."

Jennifer really wanted to say goodbye to Emily alone but since neither of the other three made any attempt at moving she had to do it in front of them.

"Well, it's been so nice getting to know you. I hope we'll see each other soon." JJ said and gave Emily a small hug.

The moment she felt Emily's arms around her she was certain that their hug would've been a hell of a lot longer if they'd been alone and she couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed.

"Yes, I'm sure we will. Have mom give you my number so we can keep in touch." Emily said.

"I'll do that."

JJ walked back next to Nathan who put his arm around her. Emily couldn't help but flinch when she saw it but shook it off quickly.

"Okay then, thank you so much for everything. I'd better get going but I'm sure we'll see each other soon." she said to everybody.

"Call you later mom, love you." Emily said as she got into her car.

"Love you too honey. Drive safely!" Elizabeth said and waved as Emily pulled out of the driveway and took off.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 5.

Emily was exhausted as she entered her condo. She dropped her bag on the floor and threw herself on the couch. She picked up her phone from her jeans pocket and called her mother before she'd be too tired.

"Emily! Are you at home?" Elizabeth said as she answered.

"Yes, I just got in. I'm beat so I'm just gonna grab something to eat and then head straight to bed. I just thought I'd call you first." Emily said.

"I'm glad you're home safe. We'll talk more tomorrow, good night honey."

"Night mom."

Emily put her phone down on the table and closed her eyes for a second. She was deadbeat. Luckily she had some frozen pizza in the freezer so she got up and threw one in the microwave before she'd become too tired to move.

After she'd eaten she opened a beer and went back to the couch and slumped down. She turned on the TV with no real intention to watch anything, she was too tired. After a few minutes of zapping through every channel she turned the thing off and decided to go to bed. She could really use a good night's sleep after only getting a few hours of sleep last night, or rather this morning.

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Her bed had never felt more comfortable. She checked the time, it was only 8.15pm but she didn't care. She closed her eyes and relaxed against the mattress and could feel she'd be asleep shortly. Just as she was about to doze off her phone beeped and she winced.

"For the love of God who is texting me now?" she growled as she picked up her iPhone to check her messages.

A number she didn't recognize had sent her a text message and her heart started to beat faster as she thought about who it might be. Her guess was right, it was Jennifer.

**Hi Emily. I hope I didn't wake you with this if you'd gone to sleep, your mom told me you were really tired. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I had a really nice time last night talking with you and again this morning (but don't think you're forgiven for the Newfoundland comment ;)). I usually don't make new friends very easy, it takes a lot to gain my trust and for me to let someone in but with you I feel like I've known you forever. It's so easy to talk to you and I feel really comfortable in your company. You're a very easy person to like Emily Prentiss and I just wanted you to know that. Sleep tight! / Jennifer**

Emily had a huge smile on her face after she'd read Jennifer's text. She just had to write her back before she'd go to sleep.

**You didn't wake me but I am dead tired :) Can't go to sleep without texting you back though :) I feel really comfortable in your company too and I also feel like I've known you forever. You have to admit, the Newfoundland thing was kinda funny ;) You're a very easy person to like too Jennifer Jareau.**

She hit send and then started typing again

**I can't wait to see you again...**

Her thumb hovered over the send button. She read the words on the screen again and again then deleted them. She really couldn't wait to see her again but she couldn't send that, could she? No, definitely not.

**Anyway, I'm gonna sleep now. Thanks for the text, talk again soon okay? Good night :)**

She hit send. Seconds later JJ answered.

**Definitely! Good night Emily.**

Emily put her phone away and laid back down on her pillow. She fell asleep smiling.

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Monday went by rather quickly, she left early for work and stopped by the grocery store on her way home. She made dinner and after she'd eaten she decided to call her mother.

"Emily hi!" Elizabeth answered as she saw her daughter's name appear on the display.

"Hi mom."

"How was work?" Elizabeth asked.

"Same as always I guess. I really can't wait to get some time off, I could really need it." Emily said and sat down on the couch and rubbed her neck.

"Speaking about that, I've invited Jennifer and Nathan to come with me and Jack to the cottage next weekend and wanted to ask if you would like to join us?" Elizabeth said.

"Yeah, of course I'll come, it sounds like fun!" Emily said, not hesitating a second at the chance of seeing Jennifer again.

"Lovely! However Jack and Nathan will only join us the first day, they're going on a fishing trip on Sunday with Jack's brother and a friend of Nathan's so they'll be gone for 4-5 days." Elizabeth explained.

"Okay, well should I bring anything with me when I come?" Emily asked feeling utterly happy with the prospect of spending more time alone with Jennifer without her fiance being there. Not that she didn't like Nathan, she did. He was a really nice guy but with him not being there, Jennifer would be all hers.

_Now that sounded completely wrong_, she thought the second that thought entered her mind. That was not what she'd meant. Of course Jennifer wouldn't be hers in that sense of the word, just free to hang out with her more without having to be interrupted by her boyfriend. That's all.

"Emily? Are you still there?" Elizabeth wondered from the other side of the line. Emily had spaced out thinking about Jennifer and didn't hear her mother's reply to her question.

"Sorry mom, I kinda disappeared for a second. You were saying?"

"I said that no, you don't have to bring anything with you. When will you get there? Sometime on Saturday or?" Elizabeth wondered.

"Yeah, I work late on Friday otherwise I would have driven up to the lake straight after work but I'll leave early Saturday instead." Emily answered.

"We'll be there when you arrive. I gotta go but we'll talk some more later this week. Love you honey." Elizabeth said.

"Love you too mom. Bye" Emily said and hung up.

She put her phone down beside her on the couch and thought about the upcoming weekend. She couldn't help but feel a tingling sensation in her stomach just thinking about spending time with Jennifer again. She hoped the rest of the week would go by quickly.

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Never had a Friday evening felt so good. She'd picked up some takeaway thai food on her way home which was delicious and now she was watching a comedy and sipping on her third glass of wine. Her bag was already packed and she couldn't wait to go up to Minocqua tomorrow. Her phone beeped, indicating she'd received a new text message. She was slightly disappointed when it wasn't from who she'd hoped it would be. It was from her colleague and friend Melissa who just wished her a nice vacation. She typed a reply and left the phone on the couch while she walked into the kitchen to get some popcorn.

When she got back to the couch her phone blinked so she picked it up to see if Melissa had sent her another text but the new message wasn't from her.

**This place is amazing! I could totally live here. I'm sitting on the pier with my feet in the water right now, it's lovely! Can't wait for you to get here tomorrow and show me around :) J **

Emily's heart jumped in her chest as she re-read the text. The _**Can't wait for you to get here tomorrow and show me around **_part really stuck with her and she briefly thought that if she hadn't had those couple of glasses of wine she would've jumped in her car and started driving up to Minocqua tonight. She started typing back:

**Yes it is quite a place though there are a few places around there that's even more impressive ;)**

Jennifer's reply came quickly:

**There is? Well you're gonna show me all of them :)**

Emily smiled as she read Jennifer's reply. She started typing and hit send:

**Maybe... ;)**

Why was she flirting with her? Cause yes, she was definitely flirting.

Jennifer's reply came within seconds:

**Maybe? **

Emily smirked and typed back:

**It depends...**

Jennifer was puzzled and replied:

**On what if I may ask?**

Emily smiled as her thumbs swiped over the screen:

**On whether or not you'll forgive me for the newfoundland thing ;)**

Jennifer chuckled, she thought about what she should reply to that.

**Okay, if you show me one place that is more impressive than it is here, I'll forgive you for comparing me to a drooling dog.**

Emily laughed and quickly typed:

**Haha, deal! :)**

Jennifer smiled and wrote one last message:

**So I'll see you tomorrow then. Drive safely. **

Emily answered:

**I will. See you tomorrow Jennifer.**

Jennifer put her phone back in her pocket and looked out over the water. She was really excited to spend the next couple of days in this place. Her thoughts wandered to Emily and thinking about spending more time with the brunette made her feel even more excited. Those thoughts were quickly pushed away though because she shouldn't feel this excited over spending more time with Emily.

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Emily was up early the next morning and had already eaten breakfast. She was almost ready to leave. While she brushed her teeth she walked around in the apartment and packed the last things she needed then she was ready to go. She had a little more than seven hours on the road ahead of her and she planned to make it to Minocqua with as few stops as possible.

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Finally turning off the main road she only had a few miles left before she'd reach the cottage. Every time she drove down the old dirt road that lead to the cottage she'd be filled with a sense of peace and calm. This time however, the peace and calm was replaced with something that could only be described as the complete opposite. Her heart was racing and her palms started to feel sweaty. Turning off the engine she took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself before she got out of the car. Her mother was already on her way to greet her.

"Hi honey! I'm so glad you're finally here!" Elizabeth said and pulled Emily into a tight hug.

"Me too mom but you're kinda suffocating me here." Emily said playfully.

Elizabeth released her daughter and smiled.

"Pssh, you're my daughter so I'm allowed to suffocate you with my hugs."

Emily smiled back and grabbed her bag from the trunk.

"Where's everybody?" Emily wondered. Mostly she wondered where Jennifer was but she couldn't say that to her mother.

"Jack and Nathan are inside packing up for their fishing trip and Jennifer went out for a run about thirty minutes ago." Elizabeth answered as she walked beside Emily on their way up to the cottage.

Emily nodded and looked around, this place really was something else. She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes as the smell of the forest and lake filled her nostrils.

"God I've missed this place." she said as she exhaled.

"Are Jennifer and Nathan staying in the cottage or in the boathouse?" Emily wondered.

"In the cottage." Elizabeth answered.

"Great! I mean then the boathouse is free?"

"Yes the boathouse is free. I know how much you love it there so I put Jennifer and Nathan in the guestroom." Elizabeth told her.

Emily smiled and bounced off towards the boathouse. It was located next to the pier and wasn't particularly large. Emily and her mother had made a complete renovation of the place a couple of years ago. What originally was meant to be a place to store a boat had turned into a single room with white walls and wooden floor. The decoration was simple and bright, the only furniture the room held was a double bed, a rocking chair and an antique bedside table. It was simple but Emily had fallen in love with it instantly and every time she visited the cottage she always stayed in the boathouse.

She opened the squeaking wooden door and stepped inside dropping her bag on the floor by the double bed. This was her haven and as she stepped towards the large landscape window and looked out over a glassy lake the peace and calm that had been nowhere to be found finally appeared. God she loved it here. She took a last lingering look at the beautiful landscape outside the window then walked back out and up to the cottage.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 6

The first thing she saw when she entered the cottage was a mess of fishing gear spread all over the floor and Jack and Nathan in the middle of the mess trying to get somewhat organized.

"Packing's going great or?" she asked playfully.

The two men looked up.

"Emily! Good to see you again!" Jack stepped out of the mess to give Emily a hug.

Nathan had his hands full of spinners when he turned around.

"Nice to see you again Emily, I'd shake your hand but..." he said with a smile holding out his hands to show Emily the spinners. She smiled back.

"I'm good. So how long are you guys planning to be away on this fishing trip? A month?" Emily said sarcastically with a joking smile.

Jack eyed the mess on the floor and could agree that it indeed looked like they were going to stay away for a long time.

"Though it may appear somewhat chaotic I assure you we have everything under control and no, we'll only be away for a couple of days." Jack started and put his arm around Emily's shoulder.

"You see this right here-" he continued as he lead Emily towards the pile of fishing gear with the intention of enlighten the novice woman of the wonderful world of fishing.

Thankfully Elizabeth saw what was about to happen and immediately intervened.

"Jack honey, Emily's had a long drive. I'm sure she'll love to hear your fishing stories another time isn't that right sweetie?" Elizabeth said as she put her hands on Emily's shoulders and turned her daughter towards the kitchen.

"Thanks." Emily mumbled as she let her mother lead her into the kitchen.

When they were out of earshot Elizabeth told her daughter that once you get Jack started on telling fishing stories, it's almost impossible to get him to stop.

"You know I love that man and everything about him but the whole fishing thing? Not so much." Elizabeth said and poured two cups of coffee.

Emily chuckled and kissed her mother's cheek then grabbed one of the cups and sat down by the kitchen table.

"Yeah I know your opinion on fishing. You know mom, agreeing to marrying a sailor slash fisherman was a brilliant idea." Emily said jokingly.

"Shush you!" Elizabeth said and shoved her daughter playfully. Emily laughed.

"I'm gonna go sit outside for a while before the sun sets." Emily said.

"You do that honey. I've already prepared supper for later so go outside and relax for a while. I'd better go check on the fishermen." Elizabeth said and she rolled her eyes. Emily laughed and shook her head.

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Emily walked closer to the lake and took a seat on the grass. She gazed out over the water when suddenly she heard something. Turning her gaze towards the forest her heart skipped a beat when she saw a very sweaty, but oh _so_ hot, blonde woman come running towards her. Wearing only a tight pink tank top and a pair of very short and very tight black running-shorts with her hair tied up in a high ponytail, the blonde made her way over to the brunette in the grass. Emily swallowed hard when Jennifer came closer, her mouth suddenly felt very dry. Slowly she got up from the grass just before Jennifer reached her.

"Hi! I hoped you'd be here when I returned and here you are!" JJ said panting but enthusiastic.

Emily looked at the blonde and tried not to stare which turned out to be incredibly difficult as she noticed small beads of sweat running from her neck down between the swell of her breast.

_God! Get a grip before you make a complete fool out of yourself!_

She managed to avert her eyes before she'd be caught staring like some kind of a pervert.

"Yeah I got here a while ago. Mom just saved me from Jack's attempt at learning me all about fishing." Emily said with a chuckle.

"Oh God! Be _very_ grateful, once dad gets started talking about fishing it's almost impossible to get out." JJ said and laughed.

Emily looked at her and smiled. Jennifer caught her eyes and held her gaze for a moment before she looked down at her shoes.

"I'd give you a hug but I'm all sweaty..." JJ said looking up and meeting Emily's eyes again.

She really wanted to give her a hug but she knew she was drenched in sweat and definitely didn't want Emily to feel disgusted by her.

"I'm gonna hit the showers so I'll see you in a bit." She continued and took of towards the cabin before Emily had a chance to respond.

"I don't mind..." Emily mumbled while she watched Jennifer's retreating form.

When Jennifer had disappeared inside the cottage Emily slumped down on the grass again as a wave of emotions washed over her. The peace and calm she'd managed to find earlier in the boathouse vanished completely the second she saw Jennifer and she couldn't deny it any longer. She was attracted to the blonde but she also knew nothing could ever happen. Jennifer was straight and also engaged so the best, well the only thing to do, was to try and get these feelings out of her system and move on. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them as she tried to suppress those feelings and think about something else. It didn't work very well though, she didn't really want to admit it but she'd thought about the blonde the entire week and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get her out of her head. It certainly didn't help the matter when Jennifer appeared by her side mere ten minutes later, newly showered with her hair still wet and she smelled great.

"Hi." the blonde said and took a seat next to the brunette.

"Hi..." Emily said back and met the blondes eyes for a second.

"Did you have a good run?" she asked trying to keep a light conversation hoping it would avert her thoughts.

"Yeah, the nature here is amazing." JJ said with a smile.

"It is. I love running up here." Emily agreed.

"Maybe we could go for a run together some time?" Jennifer asked.

"Sure, that would be great." Emily said and smiled.

"If you think you can keep up?" she continued playfully and maybe a little flirtatious.

She couldn't help it, every conversation they had somehow ended up a little flirty and it wasn't just one sided. Though it was innocent, Jennifer flirted back.

"The question is if _you _can keep up with me agent." JJ countered.

Emily turned towards the shorter woman.

"Oh I think I'll manage that." Emily answered.

"Really? Well I guess we'll see." JJ said cocky.

Suddenly Elizabeth's voice called out to announce that supper was ready. JJ got up first and offered her hand to Emily. The brunette hesitated for a second but couldn't come up with a valid excuse _not_ to take Jennifer's hand. So she did and the second their hands met Emily's whole arm tingled. JJ pulled the other woman up on her feet but didn't let go of her hand. She had no idea why she was still holding on to Emily's hand but she just couldn't let it go. Emily looked from their joined hands to Jennifer's eyes. My God was she beautiful and her eyes were piercing blue, she'd never seen such beautiful eyes. Jennifer couldn't look away from Emily's deep dark brown eyes, she found them captivating.

_What the hell am I doing, let go of her hand you moron!_

Jennifer's internal battle led nowhere, her hand was still in Emily's hand and her blue eyes was still locked with mesmerizing brown ones.

_Why is she doing this and why is she looking at me like this?..._

Emily felt beyond confused by Jennifer's actions, the blonde certainly didn't make it easy for Emily.

_How am I supposed to think about anything but her when she's holding my hand?...and those eyes... my God those eyes..._

"So... maybe we should go back inside?..." Emily had no idea where she found the willpower to say that but it helped ease them out of the situation they found themselves in.

Jennifer slowly dropped Emily's hand and though Emily instantly missed the contact she was relieved because it gave them a chance to distance themselves from each other and that was definitely necessary at that point.

"Yes, we'd better go." Jennifer said and started to walk back towards the cottage.

Emily took a couple of deep breaths and then followed the blonde.

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Emily was pretty quiet during supper, she cast a glance at Jennifer occasionally but the blonde never held her gaze the few times their eyes met. Elizabeth noticed that her daughter was unusually quiet but figured she was tired from the long drive.

After supper they all had coffee in the living room which now actually looked like a living room again. Jack and Nathan had finished their packing and the earlier mess was gone. Emily sat down in the arm chair in front of the open fire and sipped on her coffee. Jennifer sat next to Nathan on the couch and half listened to Nathan and Jack's conversation about their fishing trip. So many thoughts were going through her mind and they didn't make any sense. She looked over at Emily who seemed to be deep in thought.

Thinking about something else other than Jennifer proved to be almost impossible, especially after their moment outside earlier. She'd spent not even three full days with the blonde and yet she was all she could think about. It was crazy, that was the only thing she knew for certain and she needed to get over this, what ever the hell it was. Getting up from the chair she told everybody that she was tired from the drive and had decided to go to bed.

"Jack, Nathan, I take it you guys leave early tomorrow morning so have a great trip." she said.

"Thank you Emily, I'm sure we will. See you in a couple of days." Jack said with a warm smile.

"Goodnight everyone." Emily said and walked out.

Once inside the boathouse she undressed and brushed her teeth quickly then crashed down onto the bed and was asleep within minutes.

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"Well, I think I'm gonna turn in too, we've got an early morning tomorrow." Nathan said.

"What about you babe, are you coming?" he asked JJ.

"In a minute, you go ahead." she answered.

"Okay, goodnight Elizabeth, Jack." he said and gave his fiancee a kiss.

"Goodnight Nate." they said in unison.

Jack stayed up a little while longer and when he decided to go to bed, Elizabeth followed him. Jennifer had moved to the arm chair where Emily sat earlier and was now looking into the crackling fire. She sat in front of the fire until it died down then she joined her fiance in bed. He was already asleep when she crawled beneath the covers.

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Jack and Nathan left early the following morning. Jennifer was up before Elizabeth, she hadn't slept much last night. Thankfully the guys had made some coffee before they left so she poured herself a large cup of coffee and brought it outside as she sat down in a chair on the porch. It looked like it could be a really nice day, it was already about 68 degrees and it was only 9 o'clock.

A while later Elizabeth joined her on the porch.

"Oh what a lovely morning, looks like we'll have a great day today." Elizabeth said cheerfully.

"Yeah, looks like it." JJ replied.

"How long have you been up?" Elizabeth asked.

"About an hour or so." Jennifer answered.

"Oh okay. Have you had any breakfast?"

"Just coffee." JJ said.

"Well, I for one am starving. I'll go fix something in the kitchen, you stay here and enjoy the morning sun, I'll let you know when it's finished. I'm sure Emily will be up soon too." Elizabeth said and headed back inside.

Jennifer finished her coffee and put the cup down on the table beside her. When she looked up she saw that Emily was walking up towards the cottage. Suddenly her heart started to beat faster and as Emily walked up the stairs she was certain it would jump out of her chest at any second.

"Morning." Emily said and sat down in the chair on the opposite side.

"Morning..." JJ said back and watched the other woman rub her eyes, apparently still pretty sleepy.

Emily noticed Jennifer's cup on the table and was instantly filled with an urgent need for coffee.

"Please say there's some coffee left?"

"I think there's still some in the coffeepot inside." JJ answered.

She couldn't help but laugh when the brunette almost sprinted into the cottage. A moment later she returned sipping on a large cup of coffee, looking very content.

"I take it there was still some left?" JJ said and smiled.

"Yes, thank God!" Emily sighed.

"I can't function properly if I don't get coffee first thing when I wake up." she continued.

"Oh, mom said breakfast was almost done." she added.

Jennifer nodded. Emily put her cup down and noticed Jennifer's empty cup.

"Oh I'm sorry, did you want more coffee? I just filled my own cup and didn't think to ask if you wanted more. Do you? I can go inside and-"

Jennifer interrupted her.

"Emily, it's fine. I'll get some more inside, really it's fine." Jennifer said.

"Okay, still, I apologize for not asking."

"It's totally fine, forget about it." Jennifer smiled.

"But I am kinda hungry so what do you say about joining your mother for breakfast?" she asked.

"Sounds like a great idea." Emily said and smiled.

The awkwardness they both felt last night had fortunately disappeared and both women silently breathed a sigh of relief.

**A/N**

**I'm so happy so many are enjoying this story, I'm having a blast writing it! **

**Thank you so much for all reviews and alerts, it makes my day!**

**As a little 'thank you' to you all I can reveal that the next chapter will involve bikinis ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 7.

They had a very nice breakfast with lots of laughter. Elizabeth was thrilled to spend the next couple of days with just the girls. Since the day turned out brilliant Elizabeth suggested they spend the day by the lake. Both Emily and JJ thought it was a great idea but then it dawned on Emily that spending a day by the lake would mean spending a day in a bikini. Not that she had a problem with that, the problem was that Jennifer would probably also wear a bikini and _that _she had a problem with. From what she saw yesterday when JJ was in her minimal running gear, the blonde had an amazing body and just the thought of seeing her in even less clothing than that made her palms start to perspire.

She helped clear the table then went back to the boat house to get changed. Standing in front of the mirror she inspected her outfit for the umpteenth time, she was wearing a black halterneck bikini top and black and blue swim shorts. She knew she was fit, working as an FBI agent required her to be in shape and she spent a lot of time at the gym, but she'd never felt comfortable wearing bikini pants. It made her feel exposed and really uncomfortable. She stepped away from the mirror, grabbed a towel and headed down to the lake.

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She was the first one there so she threw her towel on one of the two sunloungers that stood close to the water's edge and started to wade out in the water. It really was hot as hell and the sun seemed to show no mercy, she squinted up at the sky but there was not a could as far as the eye could see. When the water reached her waist she threw herself forward and dived down under the surface. It was so refreshing and it really cooled her off. Swimming around for a while she emerged from the water just as her mother and Jennifer made their way down to the lake.

Jennifer was walking half a step behind Elizabeth and was very thankful for that when her eyes fell on a dripping wet Emily that was wading towards them and suddenly she halted. She swallowed hard as drops of water trickled down Emily's very toned body, her eyes took in her muscular arms and then landed on her very toned abs. My God the woman really had a body to die for and the blonde found it really hard to stop looking at her. She was thankful Elizabeth brought her out of her admiration spell and told her to bring her the picnic basket she was carrying.

Emily dried herself with the towel, trying desperately to focus on anything but the blonde who was wearing a blue bikini and looked beyond gorgeous. The color of the swimwear really emphasized her eyes which looked even bluer. God she was so beautiful and Emily didn't know how much longer she could pretend she wasn't insanely attracted to her.

_It's gonna be a long day... _

"How was the water?" Jennifer asked as she took a seat in the lounger next to Emily.

"It was great! So refreshing." Emily answered as she toweled her hair.

"In that case I think I'll follow your lead." Jennifer said and walked down to the water and dived right in.

"Go for it!" Emily replied just before Jennifer disappeared below the surface.

"God the water is lovely!" she called out when she resurfaced.

"I think I'll stay here for the rest of the day." she said and floated around on her back.

Elizabeth stood knee deep in the water.

"I don't know, isn't it a bit cold?" she said.

"Cold? It's lovely! Come on Elizabeth!" JJ encouraged.

"Good luck with that. Mom has not let the water reach higher than her thighs for the past eight years at least. If you look up the word 'aquaphobia" you'll find a picture of mom." Emily chuckled.

Elizabeth turned and gave her daughter a stern look.

"I do **not **have a phobia for water young lady!" Elizabeth stated.

"I simply don't enjoy swimming as much as I did in my younger years." she continued.

"Uh huh, and it's got nothing to do with the fact that there's fish in the water that may accidentally brush your legs?" Emily countered.

"So I don't like fish, except when they're on my plate, big deal? Now shush you and let me enjoy my wading. It's more than enough for me." Elizabeth said.

Jennifer couldn't help but laugh, so did Emily.

"So you don't like fish? Well you sure did pick the right guy to marry then." Jennifer laughed.

"That's what I said!" Emily said.

Elizabeth looked at her laughing daughter, then at her fiance's laughing daughter and shook her head.

"Don't you start as well Jennifer Jareau. I love your father and I know he loves fishing and that's great. He's perfectly free to have his own interests, **all **our interest doesn't have to be the same." Elizabeth said defensive.

"Uh oh, _Jennifer Jareau, _watch out she's using your full name now." Emily said and winked.

Elizabeth looked at her daughter and shook her head, then burst out laughing as well.

"You're hopeless!" she said to her daughter while she continued laughing and stepped out of the water.

Jennifer also got up from the water and suddenly Emily's laughter died down and her heart was starting to beat abnormally fast. She swallowed hard and tried not to stare at the breathtaking woman but failed miserably. She had an amazing body and Emily just couldn't tear her eyes away.

"Coffee Emily?" Elizabeth asked and it brought Emily back to reality.

"Uh, what? Coffee? Y-yes please." Emily stuttered.

Elizabeth poured a cup and handed it over to Emily, completely oblivious to her daughter's ogling of her soon to be step-daughter.

Jennifer didn't bother to dry herself, she figured the scorching sun would handle that. She just sat down in the lounger next to Emily who was really struggling with keeping her focus on the coffee cup in her hands. Elizabeth handed a cup to Jennifer as well who gratefully accepted.

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The rest of the afternoon the three women just enjoyed the sun, talked and laughed, both Emily and Jennifer took another swim while Elizabeth never left the lounger. It wasn't until their stomachs started to rumble that they realized how late it was and that they probably should get some dinner started.

Emily returned to the boathouse to change while Elizabeth and Jennifer headed back up to the cottage.

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Emily and Jennifer were in the kitchen preparing the ingredients for dinner when a very pinkish looking Elizabeth appeared. Emily and JJ looked up and then looked at each other.

"I might have stayed in the sun a little too long..." Elizabeth said sheepishly.

"You think? My God mother! Have you _heard _of sunblock?" Emily said as she walked up to her mother to inspect her sunburnt skin.

"You don't have to rub it in Emily, and yes I've heard of sunblock. I put some on this morning before we went down to the lake." Elizabeth said.

"Uh huh, and while we were down there? Did you apply more?"

The way Elizabeth looked at her daughter told her that she hadn't applied anymore, well that and the color of her skin.

"My God, who's the mother here, me or you? Look at me and Jennifer, do we have any sunburn? No because everybody knows you have to apply sunblock throughout the day. Well, obviously not everybody..." Emily mumbled that last part and looked over at Jennifer who was biting her lip to prevent herself from laughing.

"Again, you don't have to rub it in. Obviously I'm starting to become senile and _forgot_ that you have to apply more sunblock throughout the day." Elizabeth said ironically.

"Now do you have anything I can apply to help ease the pain?"

"I have some aloe vera skin lotion in my bag, that's supposed to be soothing. I'll go get it." Jennifer said and went to her room to get the bottle.

She was back in an instant.

"Here you go, apply where it hurts the most and it will feel better in a bit." Jennifer said and handed the bottle to Elizabeth.

"Thank you Jennifer. I think I'm gonna go lie down for a while, you girls go ahead and eat without me. I'll just get something later." Elizabeth said and excused herself.

Jennifer and Emily looked at each other when Elizabeth had left the room.

"Well, I'm starving so let's finish this and eat?" Emily said with a smile and returned to the kitchen counter.

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The dinner was really nice, they had a nice and easy conversation and both felt quite relaxed in each others company.

"I feel really bad for your mother, she was really sunburned."

"That ought to teach her." Emily said not feeling sorry for her mother at all.

"Emily!" JJ said astonished.

"What?"

"She's your mother." Jennifer said surprised by Emily's indifference.

"Jennifer, the woman is 58 years old, you'd think she would've learned stuff like how to use sunblock properly by now? This is so typical mom, not just the sunblock thing. You'll see what I mean once you get to know her better. Let's just say I've stopped being surprised by the things she does a long time ago. Sometimes, or I should rather say very often, my mother tends to do stuff before she thinks them through which almost always ends in some sort of disaster. She's quite harmless though but always the source of a good laugh." Emily said and chuckled.  
>Jennifer smiled.<p>

"You seem to have a very good relationship with you mom." the blonde said, her smile somewhat fading.

"Yeah, I guess we're pretty close." Emily said and looked at Jennifer who was looking down at the table.

"Hey... are you okay?" she asked and reached over to put her hand on top of Jennifer's.

Jennifer looked up and gave the brunette a small smile, her eyes looked sad though.

"Yeah... I'm okay. It's just... sometimes I really miss not having my mom around, you know?"

Emily gave her hand a gentle squeeze and smiled warmly.

"I understand that you miss her and it's okay to be sad." Emily said softly. Jennifer nodded.

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way and I've only known your mother for about a week but I already feel so close to her. I don't mean that I think of her as a mother but she just makes me feel so welcomed and she's so caring. She's already treating me like a daughter." Jennifer said and looked up to meet Emily's eyes.

"That's my mom. She's always been like that, I actually think she was more in love with my ex-girlfriend than I was." Emily said jokingly which made the other woman chuckle and the short moment of sadness seemed to vanish.

"I was planning on going for a walk, why don't you come with me?" Emily asked and released Jennifer's hand.

"Yeah, that would be really nice." Jennifer said.

"Great. I'll go tell mom we're going outside for a while, okay?" Emily said and left the kitchen.

Jennifer put the leftover food in the fridge and put their plates in the sink then grabbed her sandals and waited for Emily outside.

**A/N**

**I have the day off today, phew. It's been a couple of very busy days and school's only just started...**

**But, I've started on chapter 8 and actually have the whole thing already 'written' in my head so I'll write it down today and have it up by tomorrow. How does that sound? :)**

**Thanks again for all reviews and alerts!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 8.

It was a really lovely evening, the temperature was still about 68 degrees and it was completely windless. Jennifer sat on the steps waiting for Emily to come out. A moment later the brunette joined her and took a seat next to her.

"Hey."

"Hey. Is your mom alright?" Jennifer asked.

"Yep, a bit sore but she said the lotion you gave her was doing the trick." Emily replied.

"God, it's still so warm." Emily said referring to the lovely weather.

"Yeah it's crazy but I'm definitely not complaining." Jennifer said and smiled.

"Hey? Are you up for an evening swim?" Emily asked suddenly.

"Oh yeah, I'm definitely up for that!" JJ replied.

"Great. I'm gonna go change, meet you back here in five?"

Jennifer nodded and went back inside to change as Emily headed down to the boat house. Five minutes later they were good to go.

"Ready? There's a place I wanna show you, it's just a couple of minutes walk through the forest." Emily said.

"Yes, I'm ready. Lead the way agent." JJ said and winked.

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After a couple of minutes walk they reached a secluded beach, it wasn't that big but it was really cozy.

"Emily this place is amazing!" Jennifer said in awe.

"I know, it's one of my favorite places here. If you want I can take you back here tomorrow, it's far more beautiful in the daylight." Emily said.

"Yeah, I'd like that." Jennifer said and smiled.

"So..." Emily started as she begun to undress.

"I'm gonna check out the water." she continued.

Jennifer just nodded as Emily took her clothes off and stood before her in the same outfit she was wearing earlier down by the lake. Even though it was starting to get pretty dark outside she could still see every contour of Emily's body and God! She looked so good, Jennifer had a hard time tearing her eyes away.

"Are you coming?" Emily asked and Jennifer was brought back from her thoughts, blushing slightly.

"Yeah, I'm coming." she replied and took of her shorts and tank top, grateful for the lack of light as she was certain her cheeks were flushed.

She walked down to the water where Emily was waiting. Stepping down into the water she was surprised by how warm the water was.

"It's so warm!" she said and immediately threw herself into the glassy lake.

Emily followed suit and disappeared beneath the surface. The water was wonderful and as she surfaced again she saw that Jennifer was a bit ahead of her, floating on her back looking completely content. Emily swam up next to her and Jennifer turned around in the water so she was facing the brunette as she felt her approach.

"This was a great idea!" the blonde said with a huge smile.

"I know, I'm full of good ideas." Emily said cocky yet playfully.

Jennifer snorted.

"Full of yourself I'd say." she mocked.

The blonde was rewarded with a splash of water right in the face.

"You did **not **just do that..." Jennifer replied with her eyes still closed.

"What? This?" Emily said and splashed the blonde again.

Jennifer gasped and before Emily knew what happened the blonde had launched herself forward and pushed Emily down below the surface. This triggered a big water fight with a lot of splashing and wrestling between the two women, both too engaged in the water fight to realize their proximity. It wasn't until Emily had Jennifer in a viselike grip and was splashing her face with water that the realization of how close they were dawned upon them. The splashing stopped and their laughter died down as Jennifer turned in Emily's arms and their eyes met. Both were panting from the exertion of the water fight. They were so close, Emily caught herself looking down at Jennifer's lips. She wanted to kiss her, God how she wanted to kiss her and as she looked up to find those piercing blue eyes again she noticed that the blonde's eyes were looking down at her own lips for just a second before they slowly wandered up to met dark brown. Jennifer could hardly breathe, she thought her heart would jump out of her chest at any second. Emily was so close, she could feel her breath on her own face and if she just tilted her head a little bit forward her lips would touch Emily's and that thought both excited and scared the shit out of her.

Emily was so close to kissing the blonde, her whole body screamed at her to close the short distance between them but somewhere in the back of her head a little voice was telling her that this was wrong. She should not be doing this and she needed to step away. Mustering all the strength she had she slowly released the woman in her arms and took a tentatively step back in the water.

"Maybe we should head back, it's getting kinda late." Emily said.

"Yeah, you're right... w-we should get back..." Jennifer said, her heart still racing.

Emily gave her a small smile then walked out of the water and put on her shorts and t-shirt, not caring about the fact that they would be soaked through in a minute. She just wanted to get back and try and clear her head. Jennifer walked up a minute later and she also didn't bother getting out of the wet bikini before putting on her clothes. She put the towel around her neck and looked over at Emily who seemed ready to head back. They walked back through the forest in silence.

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Jennifer couldn't stop thinking about what almost happened between them. They'd been so close and if Emily hadn't pulled back she was certain they would've kissed. Thinking about kissing Emily did nothing to help calm her racing heart. She had wanted it, she wanted to kiss Emily.

When they reached the edge of the forest and saw the cottage up ahead Emily slowed down a little, she wanted to say something to make sure they were okay before they parted.

"Well, thanks for coming with me. It was nice, the water was awesome." she started, not turning to look at the blonde who was a step behind her.

Jennifer hardly registered what Emily was saying, she was still thinking about kissing her and no matter how she tried the thought just wouldn't go away. Emily continued walking and the cottage was coming closer and closer.

"Maybe tomorrow I can show you my favorite place, it's a little bit further but it's definitely worth the walk." Emily continued completely unaware of the internal battle the blonde was struggling with a step behind her.

They would soon reach the cottage and Jennifer had to stop them, she had to... She had no idea what she was doing when she gently grabbed Emily's wrist. Emily who had continued talking stopped when she felt Jennifer's hand around her wrist. She swallowed hard and slowly turned around. Jennifer didn't let go of her wrist and took a step closer to the brunette. Emily breathed heavily when the blonde moved even closer and her heart was beating so fast. Jennifer looked from Emily's eyes to her lips and continued to inch closer. Suddenly her nose brushed against Emily's cheek and her whole body tingled at the touch. She tilted her head and then her lips touched Emily's. It was a touch as light as a feather but when she felt Emily gasp against her lips she moved even closer and captured Emily's lower lip between her own. Emily had no idea what was happening but when she felt Jennifer's lips slowly move against her own she responded immediately. Parting her lips slightly she kissed her back gently, she couldn't believe this was happening and she didn't want it to end. She raised her free hand and entangled her fingers in Jennifer's wet hair, then she moved to the back of her neck to pull her closer as she slowly deepened the kiss.

Jennifer touched Emily's upper lip with the tip of her tongue very tentatively. Emily shivered and parted her lips as her tongue slowly searched out Jennifer's. A low moan escaped the blonde's mouth as her tongue met Emily's for the first time, the hand that was holding Emily's wrist tightened it's hold. She tilted her head to the side and opened her mouth wider as her tongue swirled around with Emily's in the most passionate kiss she'd ever experienced. Emily's head was spinning as they continued to kiss slowly, deeply and very passionate, she'd never been kissed like that.

Slowly the kiss ended and they parted. Both were short of breath and had their eyes closed. Jennifer leaned her forehead against Emily's while she tried to compose herself and let her brain caught up to what just happened.

"Jennifer..." Emily whispered and opened her eyes.

The blonde opened her eyes when Emily whispered her name. When she met Emily's dark brown orbs she panicked. She realized what they had just done, what she initiated, and she just panicked.

"Emily I-I... I'm sorry..." she stuttered then took of running towards the cottage never looking back at Emily who was calling out her name.

"Jennifer! Jennifer!" Emily dragged her hands through her hair as she watched Jennifer disappear into the cottage.

_What the hell just happened? She kissed me and I kissed her back and... oh my God... she kissed me..._

Emily walked back to the boathouse in a daze, she was beyond confused but she could still feel the touch and taste of Jennifer on her lips. She lifted her hand and touched her still swollen lips. The blonde had kissed her, she had actually kissed her and though it most certainly would complicate everything she couldn't help but smile. Jennifer had kissed her...

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Jennifer ran straight to her room and closed the door then leaned against it.

_What just happened and what the hell did I just do?..._

To say she was confused was a huge understatement. She dragged her hand through her hair and walked over to the bed. Her shorts were wet from the damp bikini pants so she walked over to the bathroom and undressed then took a long cool shower to clear her head.

As she crawled beneath the covers and closed her eyes images of Emily invaded her mind. She opened her eyes and shook her head trying to clear her thoughts but as she closed her eyes again Emily was there, kissing her. She sighed and sat up then glanced to her left to the empty spot where Nathan lied just the other night. Nathan... God! Nathan... her fiance, the man she was supposed to marry in a couple of months. He was no where near her thoughts as she kissed Emily and now she felt beyond guilty for betraying him.

She leaned back against the headboard and buried her face in her hands. How could she be so stupid, what the hell was she thinking? And why was kissing Emily again all she could think about?

_What the hell am I gonna do? It's not like I can pack up and leave... How am I supposed to face her tomorrow? God... _  
>Getting any sleep was most likely out of the question, there was no way she would be able to sleep...<p>

**A/N**

**So there you have it, what I think you all have been waiting for. Hope you liked it ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 9.

Emily was also lying sleepless on top of the covers on her bed. She had one arm tucked behind her neck and the other draped over her stomach. So many feelings were running through her body and the more she thought about what had happened between them the more messed up the whole situation felt. She knew she had to do something, they were kind of stuck together for another couple of days. Sure Emily had her car so technically she could leave whenever but how would her leaving solve anything? It would probably have the opposite effect and confuse things even more. She sat up and put her feet on the floor and rubbed her hands over her face. Sighing she got up and walked over to the window and gazed out over the lake. The light from the moon reflected down on the dark water and gave the lake a somewhat mysterious glow. It was beautiful... so was Jennifer... God she was so beautiful, and sweet and funny and...

"Perfect..." Emily said softly.

_She's perfect for me... She's everything I've ever been looking for and she makes me feel things I've never felt before... She's also taken... She has a fiance and is getting married but when she kissed me... Oh God when she kissed me... I know she felt something too... _

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JJ was still lying in bed very much awake when her phone suddenly beeped. Her heart started to beat faster before she even picked it up. She knew it was Emily. She reached for the phone and swallowed hard when she saw she had one new message from Emily Prentiss. The intense pounding in her chest echoed in her ears and she threw the phone down on the bed. This wasn't something she was ready to deal with now, no definitely not! Still, a minute later she picked up the phone again and read the message:

**Are you awake? **

She read those three words over and over again. Then typed back:

**Yes. **

Emily stared at the phone.

_She's awake... Of course she's awake... What do I say next? Gah! Here I was, just a few hours ago, complaining about how my mother always do things before she thinks them through... _

She cursed her own stupidity but since she'd made the first move, obviously without thinking about the second, she would have to push through.

_So what do I tell her? The truth or what I think she would want me to say?... _

Jennifer waited impatiently for another message. It was like time stood still. After five very long minutes her phone beeped again:

**I know it's wrong in every way but I can't stop thinking about it... **

She didn't need to specify 'it', they were both very aware of what she was referring to.  
>Jennifer didn't know how to respond to that. She sat with the phone in her hand and started to reply an answer but then deleted it.<p>

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Emily's heart was beating really fast when she sat with her phone clutched in her hand. Her heart skipped a beat when it suddenly beeped indicating she had a new message.

**I can't stop thinking about it either...**

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Jennifer thought her heart would jump out of her chest at any second, either that or she would have a heart attack cause it could not be healthy for the heart to be beating like this. She couldn't believe that she'd just sent that text back to Emily, that she couldn't stop thinking about the kiss too. Well it was definitely true but was it so wise to go there? She could very easily have sent something completely different, a lie. Why didn't she make something up or write that she was tired and that they could talk tomorrow? Why oh _why_ did she write and send that she couldn't stop thinking about it either? Could she actually deal with this tonight? She really had no idea but since they would have to spend the next day together with Emily's mom they had to figure something out. Being all awkward around each other when Elizabeth was present would not go by unnoticed and she was _not_ ready to deal with that.

Her phone beeped again.

**I really need to talk to you. Can you come down to the boathouse?**

If her heart wasn't beating fast before it sure as hell was now.

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Emily was fidgeting, she was wandering back and forth and her hands were playing with the hem of her t-shirt. She was so nervous and quite frankly scared to death. She had no idea what she was going to say when Jennifer came, _if _she would actually show up...

_She must be freaking out, **I'm** freaking out..._

One minute turned to five, fifteen minutes turned to half an hour and Jennifer hadn't showed up.

_She's not coming... I should have realized that... God what do I do?..._ she stood by the window and dragged her hands through her hair when the squeaking of the old wooden door caught her attention and she spun around.

"You came... I didn't think you would..." she said softly.

Jennifer met her eyes for a split second than had to look away.

"Yeah... I didn't think I would either but then..." the blonde slowly looked up and met Emily's eyes.

They looked at each other for a long time, both could see confusion and something else in each others eyes. Emily was the first to break the silence.

"You kissed me..." she said softly, that was definitely **not **what she'd planned to say, it just came out.

Before Emily's mind had registered what she was doing she'd taken a small step closer to the other woman who was still frozen to the spot by the door.

Jennifer looked down. So many thoughts were running through her mind and not one of them made any sense. She didn't know what to say, _yes I kissed you and it was amazing and all I can think about is kissing you again._ No she couldn't say that, she wasn't brave enough to say that. She looked up again and instantly met Emily's warm brown gaze. She was slowly closing the distance between them and Jennifer was so nervous she could hardly breathe.

Emily couldn't stop moving closer to the blonde, she was drawn to her, she wanted to touch her, to feel her close... She stopped right before she would invade the blonde's personal space and continued gazing at her. She could tell the blonde was nervous, she was breathing short and rapidly and her chest was heaving. Emily slowly raised her right hand and softly touched the side of Jennifer's face with her fingertips. The blonde closed her eyes at the touch and Emily moved closer tilting her head forward until her forehead touched Jennifer's.

Jennifer thought she would faint, she couldn't feel this way...she couldn't... When Emily's nose gently brushed against her own and her lips were trying to seek out Jennifer's again she pushed the other woman away gently and walked pass her over to the window.

She rubbed her hands over her face trying desperately to make sense out of something. She shouldn't be here, she had a fiance who was a great guy and she was getting married... She shouldn't be here... but she didn't want to leave...

Emily observed the blonde for a minute then slowly walked over to her, coming up behind her she tentatively put her hands on Jennifer's waist and slowly leant down to nuzzle her nose against her shoulder. Emily had no idea what she was doing, it was as if all rational thoughts had vaporized the second Jennifer walked into the boathouse. Emily placed another soft kiss on the side of Jennifer's neck and that made the blonde's whole body shiver and she could feel goose bumps all over her arms. Her eyes closed involuntary and she breathed heavily.

"Emily please... We can't do this..." she whispered and stepped out of Emily's embrace.

Taking a step back she turned and looked at the brunette.

"Our parents are going to get married and we'll be sisters, well stepsisters, and I'm getting married, we can't-"

Emily didn't buy that excuse for one minute, she knew there was something between them, she could feel it. She took a step closer.

"I don't want us to be referred to as 'sisters' because everything about that sounds wrong, and I don't think you want that either... " she challenged.

Jennifer didn't speak but the answer was written all over her face.

"You kissed me Jennifer..." she continued and took another step closer.

Jennifer swallowed hard but still didn't say anything so Emily continued talking.

"I know we've just known each other for a couple of days and that this is absolutely crazy but ever since last weekend, since the engagement party... I haven't been able to stop thinking about you..." she whispered the last past and moved even closer, definitely invading the blondes personal space.

"I think about you all the time, you're the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep at night and the first thing I think about when I open my eyes and when I sleep I dream about you..." she raised her hand and touched Jennifer's face gently as she looked deep into her blue eyes, seeing what she was feeling mirrored in those deep blue orbs.

Jennifer could feel Emily's breath coming out in small puffs on her face and suddenly her heart raced even more, how that even was possible she had no idea. The way Emily looked at her made all her defenses come tumbling down and before she realized what she was doing she closed the small distance between them. When Emily's lips touched hers for the second time it was like everything fell into place. She knew somewhere in the back of her mind that later she would deny ever confessing to that but right now all she could feel was Emily's lips moving together with hers and then, nothing else mattered.

Emily cupped her face with both hands and pulled her in even closer. Tilting her head to the side she deepened the kiss, flicking the tip of her tongue against Jennifer's upper lip and was instantly met with Jennifer's warm soft tongue that desperately searched out hers. Emily moved her hands down from Jennifer's face and slowly down the front, squeezing her breasts lightly as she passed. The blonde gasped at the brief touch and instantly craved more. Emily was on fire, she had never felt like this before and she couldn't get enough of the woman in her arms. She moved her hands under the hem of Jennifer's hoodie and t-shirt and moved quickly up her torso till she reached her goal. Emily was surprised to find that the blonde wasn't wearing a bra and moaned into Jennifer's mouth when her hands touched bare skin.

When Emily's hands cupped her naked breasts, Jennifer had to pull away from Emily's amazing lips to catch her breath. Emily grazed her thumbs over Jennifer's erect nipples and started to place open mouth kisses on her jaw and then down to her neck where she started to suck on the soft skin. Jennifer gasped and took hold of Emily's waist, grasping it tightly. Emily removed her hands and Jennifer instantly missed the contact but before she knew what was happening Emily had pulled the hoodie and t-shirt over her head and her mouth was now sucking and licking on Jennifer's right nipple. The sensation that filled her body was something the blonde had never experienced before and she'd never in her life been more turned on.

She tried to focus a little, which was extremely hard when Emily's mouth moved to her other breast to give it the same attention. She moved her hands to Emily's hair and pulled her up so she could kiss her again. She pushed her tongue inside Emily's mouth and moaned when Emily's tongue once again found hers. Emily moved one hand to the back of Jennifer's neck and the other found her breast again. The blonde fumbled with Emily's t-shirt, wanting it off which Emily noticed and raised her arms to assist. Jennifer grabbed the hem of Emily's t-shirt and pulled it over her head and threw the garment on the floor before capturing her lips again. Nervous hands then fumbled with the clasp on Emily's bra and just as Emily was about to assist the blonde succeeded with her mission and slowly pulled the straps down Emily's shoulders until the item fell to the floor.

Emily wrapped her arms around the blonde and pulled their bodies together, she gasped when Jennifer's naked chest collided with her own and when their breasts came together Emily didn't know how much more she could take. Turning them slightly she maneuvered them over to the bed, never breaking the kiss that had now escalated into a passionate frenzy. When they reached the bed she lowered Jennifer down gently and then covered her body with her own. She kissed the side of her mouth, then her jaw and down to her neck where she sucked and nibbled on the soft skin before she reached Jennifer's shoulder where she accidentaly left a distinct mark. Maybe that wasn't the most brilliant idea but she really wasn't thinking clearly.

Leaving her shoulder she trailed kisses down her collarbone and then down her chest where she kissed and licked around each nipple before she continued down, kissing Jennifer's flat stomach. Looking up she saw the blonde's chest rise and fall with each breath. She grabbed the hem of Jennifer's sweat pants and pulled them down her body along with her underwear. Moving back up she found Jennifer's mouth again and kissed her passionately before trailing kisses down her body again.

Jennifer was panting violently when Emily's tongue found the wetness between her legs. She grasped the bedsheets and opened her legs wider when she felt the tip of Emily's tongue swirl around her clit and then move down between her folds. Gasping loudly she arched her back and threw her head back at the sensation Emily was giving her.

Emily kissed her way up Jennifer's body again, replacing her tongue with her fingers. She just had to kiss her. Jennifer moaned into Emily's mouth when she felt Emily slip inside her. Using two fingers she moved in and out of the blonde's core rubbing her clit with the palm of her hand with each stroke. Jennifer was so close but she wanted Emily to feel what she was feeling. Reaching down she slipped her hand inside Emily's shorts. She had no idea what she was doing but she found Emily's most sensitive spot and started to rub small circles over the harden nub. Judging from the sound Emily was making she was doing something right, it was hard to focus when Emily's fingers were working inside her and she knew she wouldn't last long.

Emily had a hard time focusing when Jennifer touched her like this but she continued to thrust her fingers in and out of Jennifer's wet core while she was rocking her own hips hard against Jennifer's hand. Feeling her own orgasm starting to build up she picked up the pace and suddenly the blonde's walls tightened around her fingers and she heard her gasp heavily. Seconds later Emily slumped down on top of the blonde as her own orgasm rushed through her. She was panting against Jennifer's neck while she placed small open mouth kisses on her skin. Jennifer had her eyes closed as she tried to compose herself. She gasped when Emily slowly pulled her fingers out of her core. The brunette continued to place soft kisses along Jennifer's jaw and up to the corner of her mouth. She smiled against Jennifer's skin when the blonde wrapped her arms around her and held her tight.

After a while of just holding each other they rearranged their positions so Emily was lying behind Jennifer with an arm draped over the blonde's stomach, Jennifer slowly reached for her hand before they both fell asleep completely spent.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**

**First of all wow! You guys are amazing! So many kind words about the last chapter, I'm blown away. **

**To everyone whos reviews I've replied to with a little hint of how the morning after would be; This chapter turned out a little bit different than what I originally had planned but I kinda liked this version better so this is what you'll get. Hope you like it :)**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 10.

Jennifer was the first one to wake up the next morning by rays of light shining in through the window. It took a second for her to realize where she was and then everything dawned on her. She was certain it had all been a dream but now... waking up naked in Emily's bed in Emily's arms certainly brought her back to reality. She should be freaking out but oddly enough she wasn't. Emily's arm was still draped protectively over her stomach and her own hand was resting on top of Emily's arm. She was so warm and her skin was so soft. Slowly she started to trace invisible patterns on her skin, dragging her fingertips up and down her forearm. Emily started to stir behind her and the blonde slowly turned around so she was facing the brunette. She was so beautiful, Jennifer couldn't help herself, she reached out her hand and pushed a few stray strands of hair behind Emily's ear then let her hand rest on the side of her neck as she slowly entangled her fingers in soft dark brown hair.

"I thought you would be gone when I woke up..." Emily said softly as she slowly opened her eyes.

Meeting piercing blue ones her heart skipped a beat.

"I thought so too..." Jennifer admitted as she slowly stroked Emily's hair.

"This is crazy..." she whispered.

Her blue eyes were filled with fear over what they had done and she was terrified to even think about the consequences. Emily put a hand on her cheek and moved her thumb slowly back and forth over her soft skin.

"I know... Do... Do you regret it?" Emily whispered tentatively, terrified of what the blonde would answer.

Jennifer looked deep into Emily's dark eyes and thought about what she'd just been asked. Slowly she shook her head and Emily released a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"I just... I don't know what to do, I'm so confused and and... I just..." she sighed and pulled away, wrapping a sheet around her body she sat up on the edge of the bed with her back turned towards Emily.

"I just don't know Emily..." she said dejected.

Emily's heart sank, she crawled up behind the blonde and wrapped her arms around her waist. Jennifer sighed and leaned back into Emily's embrace for a moment but then removed the brunette's arms from around her waist and stood up to gather her clothes. Emily held back her tears as she watched Jennifer get dressed.

When the blonde had dressed she turned around and met Emily's eyes and it hurt to see them so filled with pain.

"I better get back to the cabin before Elizabeth wakes up." she said. Emily looked down on her hands and nodded slowly.

Jennifer looked at her, she wanted to stay. She wanted to stay in Emily's arms but she wasn't ready to deal with the consequences of that so going back to the cottage was her only option. She lifted her hand and pushed the door handle down then pushed the door open. Tears rolled down Emily's cheeks when she heard the squeaking of the old door but she wiped them away quickly, not wanting the blonde to see her cry. Jennifer had stopped in the doorway, one foot out of the door and her hand still on the handle. Her heart was beating so fast, her mind was telling her to keep walking back to the cottage but her heart was begging her to stay. She turned around and as her eyes found Emily she felt a pang in her heart. The other woman sat on the edge of the bed, still looking down at her hands and the blonde noticed that a few tears escaped Emily's eyes which the brunette quickly wiped away.

Emily didn't notice that Jennifer was still there, standing by the door looking at her. Jennifer couldn't take it, she walked over to Emily and cupped her face then leaned down and captured her lips. Emily was a bit startled but as soon as Jennifer's lips touched hers she wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close. Jennifer wiped away new tears from Emily's cheeks as she continued to kiss her softly. With a final lingering kiss she slowly pulled away and rested her forehead against Emily's.

"I really have to go back..." she whispered. Emily nodded.

Jennifer kissed her again and searched her eyes as she pulled back. When their eyes locked Jennifer slowly stroked her cheek.

"You said there was a place you wanted to show me? Take me there later so we can talk some more in private?" Jennifer asked.

"Okay..." Emily said.

"Okay." Jennifer said affirmative and gave Emily a warm smile.

She kissed her tenderly again and then hurried back to the cottage before Elizabeth would wake up.

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Emily crawled back into bed and pulled the covers over her body. She felt completely drained, so many emotions were running through her body and she couldn't quite believe what had actually happened between them last night. Emily knew she'd been acting thoughtless but when Jennifer had shown up last night she just couldn't stop herself. Touching her so intimately had been amazing and then, to wake up holding her had felt like a dream. She realized that sleeping together complicated things even more than the kiss had, yet she didn't regret it. She would never ever regret it.

When Jennifer had pulled away from her she thought she'd ruin everything between them, that she would lose her before she even had her. So when the blonde had kissed her and promised they would talk more later it was as if a huge stone was lifted from her chest. Now all she had to do was get through breakfast with her mother and Jennifer without making her mother suspicious, which was easier said than done. Elizabeth Prentiss was an expert on sensing if there was even the slightest bit of tension between two people. So she was definitely worried that her mother would start asking questions she wasn't ready to answer.

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Two hours later Emily entered the cottage and heard sounds of chattering coming from the kitchen. Bracing herself she took a deep breath before she walked over to the kitchen door and peaked her head inside.

"Morning. I'm just gonna take a quick shower, be back in a bit." she said and disappeared as quickly as she'd shown up.

"Okay. Good morning to you too." Elizabeth replied to the closing door.

Jennifer had never looked up when she heard Emily's voice, afraid that her feelings would be written all over her face if she did. She stood by the stove and was making an omelet. A couple of minutes later the dish was done so she put the omelet on a plate and carried it to the table.

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Elizabeth stood by the counter and was busy with slicing the bread while Jennifer carried plates and cups from the cupboard to the table and as she put the last cup down she walked over to the fridge to get some orange juice.  
>When she closed the refrigerator door and turned around Emily walked back in. Their eyes met and Jennifer instantly felt her heart speed up. Emily smiled sweetly and Jennifer couldn't help but smile back. Elizabeth put the bread in a basket and put it on the table.<p>

"Morning sweetie. Did you sleep well?" Elizabeth asked.

Jennifer almost dropped the juice bottle and felt her cheeks flush. She looked down and made her way over to the table and sat down.

"Y-yes, I did." Emily answered shortly not daring to look at the blonde.

"Good. Well come on, take a seat." Elizabeth gestured for Emily to sit.

The brunette sat down next to her mother and busied herself with the food in front of her. Elizabeth was keeping a conversation going all by herself. Jennifer was chewing on a piece of bread and nodded in agreement every now and then, she actually had no idea what the woman was talking about. She tried not to look at Emily but she couldn't resist. She kept stealing glances at Emily who met her eyes and held her gaze for a moment or two.

"Emily? Are you listening?" Elizabeth asked and looked at her daughter.

Emily quickly looked away from Jennifer and turned towards her mother.

"What?" she said.

Elizabeth looked from Emily to the blonde on the other side of the table then back at her daughter with a quizzical expression on her face.

"Is everything okay between you two?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course." Emily answered quickly, maybe a little too quickly she thought, but decided to not give her mother a chance to interrogate further.

"So, you were saying?" she asked and thankfully it looked like her mother dropped the other subject.

"I was just saying that I need to go into town to get some supplies but I shouldn't be more than one, two hours tops. You're more than welcome to join me if you two haven't made other plans already?" Elizabeth said.

"Actually, I've promised to take Jennifer to Merrill's bay later." Emily said.

"Oh, well if you girls head out to the bay maybe we can have a late lunch together when I get back?" Elizabeth suggested.

"That sounds like a great idea Elizabeth." Jennifer said.

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They all helped clean up in the kitchen before Elizabeth headed into town and left the two women alone. Emily had returned to the boathouse to change into her bikini and pack a backpack. When she walked back to the cottage Jennifer stood outside on the grass and waited for her.

"Hey..." she said softly.

Jennifer turned around and smiled gently.

"Hi..."

"Are you ready?" Emily asked softly.

"Yeah." JJ said and nodded.

"Okay. It takes about 25 minutes to get there so we should get going." Emily said.

"Okay." Jennifer said back.

Emily took the lead and Jennifer followed, walking a few steps behind.

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They had walked for about 20 minutes and their conversation had been very minimal, both felt pretty awkward around each other and didn't really know how to act. Emily was walking a few steps ahead and turned around to check if the blonde was still with her every now and then.

"There's an opening in the woods up ahead where we have to go down a slope and then we're almost there." Emily explained.

"Okay, it's been quite a walk, you didn't exaggerate that part." Jennifer said as she took a sip of water from her water bottle then handled the bottle to Emily.

Their fingers brushed slightly when Emily took the bottle from Jennifer's hand and instantly she felt a tingle all over her body.

"I know but I promise it's worth it." Emily said and gave the blonde a small smile before she took a few sips of water as well.

She gave the bottle back to Jennifer who put it back inside her backpack.

"Ready?" Emily asked. Jennifer nodded and they continued.

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Emily had reached the bottom of the slope and Jennifer was a few steps behind. Just before she reached the bottom she slipped on a loose rock which made her slide the rest of the way down. It wasn't a hard fall so she didn't hurt herself but she felt a bit embarrassed.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked as she walked over to the blonde sitting on the ground.

"Yeah I'm fine, didn't watch where I was going that's all." Jennifer said and put her hands down beside her to push herself up.

"Here, let me help you." Emily said gently and reached out her hand.

Jennifer met her eyes and they just looked at each other for a moment, then the blonde slowly lifted her hand and took hold of Emily's who helped her to her feet. Slowly releasing Emily's hand Jennifer thanked the other woman for the help and brushed the dirt of her shorts and legs.

"It's just a little bit further." Emily said and started to walk.

Jennifer looked at Emily's back as the brunette continued walking. Taking a few quick steps she caught up with the woman and walked beside her. Emily glanced over her shoulder and smiled when Jennifer came up beside her. They walked side by side when suddenly their hands brushed together. Emily felt a jolt run through her body by that brief touch, she wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold her hand but she stopped herself. Jennifer felt her heart speed up by that brief touch and when their hands brushed together again she tentatively reached for Emily's hand. Emily couldn't breathe when she felt Jennifer reach for her hand. She dared not look at the blonde at that moment, she just slowly closed her fingers around Jennifer's hand and continued walking.

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A minute later they came to what appeared to be a pretty overgrown part of the forest and Jennifer hesitated when Emily lead her straight into what appeared to be impenetrable vegetation.

"Are you sure this is the right way?" she asked hesitatingly.

"Yes, it's on the other side. I know it looks like, well, just a bunch of overgrown trees and bushes but there's a narrow path just behind the first trees." Emily said and squeezed her hand gently.

"Just trust me..." she said as she slowly intertwined their fingers and looked straight into Jennifer's blue eyes.

The blonde could only nod and when Emily motioned for her to follow, she did. Emily lead her through the forest on the narrow path which grew wider as they continued forward. Then the woods opened up and they reached a small secluded beach with large trees growing on either side like a perfect frame. On one side a large tree was hanging out over the water, obviously the forces of nature had made the tree grow in an abnormal angle and made it resemble a palm tree. The water was beautiful and had a different color than the water by the cottage, Jennifer thought it was a bit strange as it was the same lake after all, but nevertheless it was incredibly beautiful.

"God it's beautiful here..." the blonde said in awe as her eyes continued to take in the beautiful surroundings.

Emily looked at Jennifer, she was so beautiful.

"Yeah it is..." she whispered and let her eyes wander over the blondes features.

"So..." Emily continued.

Jennifer looked at her and felt Emily's hand gently holding her own. Thoughts of last night invaded her mind and she was suddenly filled with an enormous amount of guilt for being unfaithful. She'd never ever cheated on Nate or anyone else she'd dated before. She'd actually never thought about cheating either but Emily had turned her world upside down and the attraction between them had been too strong. She knew that it was a lousy excuse but she couldn't explain it any other way. It all started to get too much and she suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe. She dropped Emily's hand and walked down to the water's edge.

"Jennifer..." Emily said softly and watched the other woman drag her hands through her hair.

Jennifer knew she'd told Emily that they would talk at the beach but she didn't know what to say anymore. The more she thought about the whole situation the more guilty she felt. She turned her head and looked at Emily who was still standing in the same spot looking back at her.  
><em>God you confuse me Emily Prentiss...<em>

They looked at each other for a moment and Emily couldn't read the expression in Jennifer's eyes and that started to scare her a little. The blonde turned around again and closed her eyes as the guilt was starting to consume her.  
><em>I can't do this... I'm engaged and... and I love Nate... I can't do this to him, it's not right... But the way she looks at me...the way she makes me feel... No! Don't go there. It has to be this way... it has to... <em>

"Jennifer please..." Emily said softly again.

"Talk to me..." the brunette pleaded.

Jennifer turned around and faced Emily again, she could feel tears start to well up in her eyes.

"I can't do this Emily... Last night... I...it was wrong...it shouldn't have happened, I... I love Nate and we're getting married in a couple of months and... and...I can't do this..." she choked.

"What? Jennifer can we talk abo-" Emily started but the blonde interrupted her.

"No! I-I have to go... I h-have to..." Jennifer stuttered trying hard to fight back tears as she rushed pass the other woman and ran back through the woods ignoring Emily's voice calling after her.

Jennifer didn't stop, instead she hurried through the overgrown forest and ran up the slope. She didn't slow down until she reached the main path that lead back to the cottage.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

**For you ;)**

Chapter 11.

Emily stood frozen to the spot and tried to take in what the blonde had just said.

_No... no! I have to stop her, I have to talk to her...I..._

She took off, desperately trying to catch up with the blonde. When she reached the top of the slope she saw the blonde a few feet ahead of her.

"Jennifer! Wait!" she called out and started to run towards her.

Jennifer didn't stop, tears were running down her face. Emily called out again and when she reached the blonde she grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Please wait." she pleaded.

Jennifer didn't turn around.

"Don't make this harder than it already is Emily." JJ said and shook Emily's hand off before she continued walking.

"Can't we at least talk about it?" Emily said.

"There's nothing more to say..."

"I know that you have feelings for me... " Emily said.

Jennifer stopped for a second when she heard Emily's words then continued walking a little faster. Emily ran up to the blonde and stopped her by stepping in front of her.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel something for me... " Emily said and looked straight into her eyes.

Jennifer swallowed hard and met Emily's gaze.

"I...I can't feel like this, don't you get it? I can't feel this way about you.. I can't... " Jennifer said almost desperately.

"Please Emily, I need to go back to the cottage. I... please Emily.." Jennifer said through her tears.

Emily held back her own tears as she stepped aside to let the blonde pass. Jennifer gave Emily one last look then left the brunette behind. As soon as Jennifer walked away Emily couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

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Jennifer walked in a daze the whole way back. She couldn't think straight, her mind was a complete mess. When she reached the end of the forest and saw the cottage up ahead she walked faster. She just needed to get away from it all.

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Elizabeth had returned and was just about to go back to the car to get the last bag when Jennifer came round the corner of the cottage.

"Jennifer, hi? Are you guys alrea-" she stopped mid sentence when she saw that the girl was crying and looked very upset.

Jennifer ignored Elizabeth, she couldn't deal with this now. Storming pass the surprised woman she ran straight to her room and threw herself down on the bed.

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Elizabeth looked at the cabin door confused, what was wrong with the blonde and where was Emily? Suddenly her daughter appeared, looking just as upset as the blonde. She walked towards the boathouse never even looking in her mother's direction. Elizabeth knew immediately that something was up by the way the two women were acting, and it wasn't something good.

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Emily saw her mother in the corner of her eye but she never looked in her direction. She knew it would only be a matter of time before her mother would come after her. She headed straight to the boathouse where she grabbed her bag and put it on the bed before she started to throw her belongings into it. Tears was running down her face which she furiously wiped away.

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Elizabeth left the last bag of groceries on the front porch then walked down to the boathouse.

"Emily?" she asked as she walked into the small building.

"What?" Emily all but shouted.

"What happened?" her mother asked and stepped closer to her upset daughter.

"Nothing." Emily said and zipped her bag close.

"It's not 'nothing' Emily, Jennifer just stormed into the cabin with tears running down her cheeks and here you are, packing your stuff and I can see that you've been crying too. So don't give me 'nothing' Emily." Elizabeth said and walked over to her daughter.

"I don't wanna talk about it..." Emily said.

"Well you're gonna talk about it, and why are you packing?" Elizabeth asked.

"I'm going home." Emily simply said and threw the bag over her shoulder.

Elizabeth looked at her daughter quizzically.

"What? Home? Emily, what happened?" Elizabeth asked and put her hand on Emily's arm.

"It's complicated..." Emily said meekly.

"Come on Emily, you know you can talk to me about anything." Elizabeth said gently and gestured for her daughter to sit down on the bed.

Emily sank down on the bed with a sigh, looking down on her hands not knowing where to start. Elizabeth hadn't seen her daughter like this in a long time so she knew something serious had happened. She put one arm around Emily's shoulder.

"Has something happened between you and Jennifer?" she asked tentatively.

Emily nodded slowly, her head still down. She could feel new tears was about to erupt and she knew she wouldn't be able to hold them back. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, Elizabeth waited patiently for Emily to speak.

"I'm in love with her..." she finally whispered as new tears slowly trickled down her cheek.

Elizabeth's jaw dropped and she gasped in surprise. Of all the things she'd thought Emily would say, those five words was definitely not on her list. Emily heard her mother's gulp of surprise but couldn't bring herself to look at the woman.

"I know it's fucking crazy and wrong and that I've only known her for a couple of days but I'm in love with her mom..." Emily said afraid of what her mother would think.

"I...I... well to say I'm shocked would be an understatement. How did this happen?" Elizabeth asked.

"I don't know...it just did... I understand if you're freaking out and that you're disappointed in me... but I didn't plan for this to happen and God how I wish I could take it back..." Emily said while her tears kept streaming down her face.

It was true, she wished she would've been stronger. Sure, Jennifer was the one who kissed her the first time but Emily was definitely the one who initiated what led to the second which led them to go further and now everything was a complete mess.

"And Jennifer? Does she have feelings for you too?" Elizabeth asked, still shocked by this revelation.

"I know she feels something for me but it doesn't matter, she's engaged and is getting married in a couple of months so..." Emily said defeated.

Elizabeth didn't know what to say, her daughter was obviously very upset but she didn't know how to respond, how to comfort her cause her own mind was working on over drive trying to process everything.

"Please don't be mad... I'm so sorry for messing everything up and I'm sorry for disappointing you but I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna go home... I can't stay here..." Emily said and wiped away the tears.

She got up from the bed and grabbed her bag. Her mother stayed on the bed trying to make sense of it all. Emily stopped by the door, she turned around and looked at her mother. Elizabeth was staring into space with a troubled expression on her face, obviously trying to take everything in. Emily opened the door and left.  
>The sound of the door closing brought Elizabeth back to reality. She looked up and noticed that Emily was gone. Her first thought was to try and catch up with her daughter and convince her to stay but she couldn't move. She was completely shocked by this news and needed some time to process everything.<p>

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Emily threw her bag in the backseat and started the car, leaving a cloud of dust behind her as she drove away from the cottage.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Jennifer was lying on the bed still crying. She'd heard the sound of a car starting and leaving and realized Emily had left. God how did she manage to get herself in such a mess? Everything felt like a complete chaos and she had no idea how to get out of it. The soft sound of a knock on the door startled her. She knew Elizabeth stood on the other side and had probably figured things out, if Emily hadn't already told her. She heard the faint squeaking of the door opening but didn't turn around.

"Jennifer?... How are you?" Elizabeth asked.

She knew it was a dumb question, obviously the girl wasn't fine but she didn't know what else to say. When she left the boathouse she knew she at least had to go see how the other woman was doing. Judging by what she saw though, the blonde seemed far from fine.

"She's gone right?..." Jennifer asked with a hoarse voice.

"Yes. She's going back home." Elizabeth answered and noticed the blonde nodded slowly in acknowledgment.

"Can I get you anything?" Elizabeth asked gently.

"No... I just wanna be alone for a while..." Jennifer answered.

"Okay. Well I'll just be in the kitchen if you need anything." Elizabeth said and left the room.

Jennifer closed her eyes hard, tears slipped out and made their way down to her already dampened pillow. What was she gonna do? It felt unreal. She wished that she was just having a nightmare and that she would wake up soon and then everything would be okay again.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Jennifer had eventually fallen asleep, completely exhausted.  
>When she woke up a couple of hours later it was getting dark outside. She checked her phone for the time and it was past 7.30 pm. Deciding to get some air she grabbed her shoes and walked out of the room. Elizabeth was sitting in the living room watching television. She smiled kindly when she saw the blonde.<p>

"Are you hungry? There's food to heat up in the fridge." Elizabeth said.

"I'm not hungry, but thanks anyway. I'm just gonna go outside for a while to get some air." the blonde said.

Elizabeth nodded and Jennifer smiled weakly before she went outside. She walked down to the pier and sat down by the edge and put her feet into the water. She cast a glance at the boathouse and felt fresh tears starting to build up.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Elizabeth had been sitting in the cabin contemplating the whole situation with her daughter and Jennifer. She knew she had to do something, talk to the blonde and let her know that she wasn't judging her, or Emily too for that matter. She'd called her daughter three times since she'd left but Emily had turned her phone off. Elizabeth had left two messages and told her that she wasn't disappointed in her, she could never be disappointed in her and begged her to call back as soon as she got the message. Knowing her daughter she knew she wouldn't be getting any phone calls tonight and she wasn't going to push her. She'd call back when she was ready but the blonde was still here and was probably feeling very confused. Elizabeth decided she would take a risk and try to talk to the blonde.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Jennifer had no idea how long she'd been sitting there by the water when she heard that someone was coming. She turned around and saw Elizabeth walking slowly towards her.

"Do you mind if I sit with you for a while?" Elizabeth asked gently.

"No, I don't mind..." Jennifer answered.

Elizabeth smiled and walked over to the blonde and took a seat beside her. Jennifer was looking out over the water.

"Emily's told you haven't she?" Jennifer said softly and glanced quickly at Emily's mother.

"Yes. She didn't tell me any details or anything like that, just that something had happened between you two. But from the state you both were in I could already tell that something had happened." Elizabeth explained.

"She left because of me right?" Jennifer asked sadly and Elizabeth's heart broke for the woman beside her.

"Oh honey... I think she just needed some time and space to think about things." Elizabeth said hoping that blonde wouldn't take the blame for Emily's departure.

"Yeah, space from me... I don't blame her though..." Jennifer said sadly.

"Sweetie..." Elizabeth said and put her arm around Jennifer's shoulder.

The blonde kept staring out over the lake, there was a moments silence.

"I don't know how to stop feeling this way... She makes me feel something... Nathan has never made me feel like this... and it's crazy cause I've only known her for a few days..." Jennifer whispered, afraid to say it too loud.

Elizabeth rubbed Jennifer's shoulder gently as she listened to the blonde who pretty much was repeating what Emily told her earlier.

"I'm so confused... It's like I don't even know who I am anymore... I've never been attracted to women before, but I am attracted to Emily... God what does that mean? Then there's Nate and he's like the sweetest guy and I don't wanna hurt him... God! What's wrong with me? I don't know what to do Elizabeth, I don't know what to do..." she started crying again and Elizabeth wrapped her arms around the smaller woman and held her tight, hoping she could prevent some comfort.

Jennifer turned and let Elizabeth embrace her.

"I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you this: I'll always be here if you need to talk, about anything." she pulled back and looked at the blonde woman.

"I'll never judge you. I can only imagine how confusing this is but know that there's **nothing** wrong with you. Sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. No matter what you decide to do, you'll have my support. I know we've only known each other for a short time but I care about you very much and if you need me, I'm here. Okay?" Elizabeth said gently and wiped the tears from Jennifer's cheek.

"Thank you..." Jennifer said.

"You must be starving, come on. Let's go back to the cottage and fix you something to eat." Elizabeth suggested.

"Okay." Jennifer said.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 12.

They walked together back to the cottage and Elizabeth guided Jennifer to the couch then disappeared into the kitchen. She returned five minutes later with a plate of food and a glass of wine.

"I figured you could use a glass of wine." Elizabeth said kindly.

"Thank you. Yes I could really use a glass of wine." Jennifer said and managed a small smile.

She was so grateful, Elizabeth really had a heart of gold.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Jennifer had been really hungry after all and the food was delicious. Elizabeth had joined her on the couch and refilled her wine glass.

"Feeling better?" Elizabeth asked.

"As long as I don't think about it it feels better but it's really hard to not think about it..." Jennifer answered.

"I can understand that." Elizabeth said.

"Have... have you talked to her since she left?" Jennifer asked tentatively.

"No, she's turned off her phone. I've left messages though. She'll call me when she's ready." Elizabeth said.

"You know-" Elizabeth started but was interrupted by the sound of her phone.

Jennifer's heart started to beat faster when Elizabeth picked up her phone to see if it was Emily who was calling.

"It's Jack." Elizabeth said to Jennifer before she answered and noticed how the other woman's face fell.

Jennifer couldn't help but feel disappointed that it wasn't Emily who called. She leaned back against the cushions and her heart started to slow down again, until she heard Elizabeth's conversation with her father.

"Tomorrow? I thought you wouldn't be back until earliest Thursday?"

Jennifer's heart started to beat faster again. Would they be back tomorrow? She was so not ready to meet Nathan yet. He would know that something was up. She looked at Elizabeth again just as she ended the phone call.

"Obviously there was no fish and the weather forecast had changed so they've decided to cancel the trip and plan to make a new one in two weeks." Elizabeth explained.

The look on the blonde's face showed that she wasn't too happy about the news.

"Are you alright?" Elizabeth asked?

"No... no I'm not... I can't face Nathan now, he'll know something's up and I won't be able to act like nothing's wrong. I have zero poker face and Nate knows me so well, he'll know I'm keeping something from him! God! I'm not ready to deal with this! " Jennifer rambled feeling slightly panicked.

Elizabeth took her hand and tried to calm her down.

"It will be okay." Elizabeth said gently.

"I'm not so sure about that..." Jennifer said.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Emily was lying in her bed staring at the ceiling. The whole drive back she'd been in a daze and had no idea how she actually made it home. She'd gone from having the best night of her life to the worst day she'd ever experienced. Again she cursed herself for letting things go so out of control, acting like this wasn't really her. 'Control' was her middle name but being close to Jennifer made her so called 'control' completely eradicate. Then again, she'd never met anyone who made her feel like Jennifer did. She usually didn't fall in love easy, it was quite the opposite actually and the way she felt about the blonde made her question all her previous relationships. She realized that she'd actually never been in love before, not if being in love felt like she was feeling right now. She wanted to be with Jennifer, she wanted her to want her back and it killed her that it wouldn't happen. She would marry the perfect guy, have kids and probably get a dog. She would move on with her life. Just thinking about it made her heart shatter into thousands of pieces and she wasn't sure she would ever be able to put it back together again.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

It was two very disappointed men that returned from the cancelled fishing trip late Tuesday afternoon. Jennifer and Elizabeth was in the kitchen making dinner when the two men walked into the cottage. They heard noises coming from the kitchen so they made their way over there to let the women know they were back.

Elizabeth smiled widely and greeted her fiance with a hug. Nathan immediately walked over to his fiancee and kissed her. Jennifer kissed him back but it felt wrong and when Nathan wrapped his arms around her and held her tight her whole body screamed that this wasn't the right arms that should be holding her. She swallowed hard and forced a smile when Nathan pulled back to look at her.

"Are you okay honey?" He asked.

Jennifer nodded, she felt like she could start crying any second but with willpower she managed to keep it together.

Elizabeth glanced over at the couple and saw the look on Jennifer's face. She only hoped that the woman wouldn't let fear keep her from what her heart truly wanted.

"I'm just a little tired and have a slight headache." Jennifer answered.

"Okay, do you wanna go lay down for a while? I can help finish the dinner." Nate offered.

"Yes, I think I'll do that." Jennifer said and started to walk over to the door. Jack's voice stopped her.

"Where's Emily?"

Jennifer thought that if she'd turn around now her rapid heartbeat would show through her t-shirt. She stood frozen to the spot.

"Uhm, she had to go back to Chicago. She was called back to work, some sort of emergency." Elizabeth lied and glanced at Jennifer.

"Oh, well too bad. I was looking forward to spending some more time with her now that we came back early." Jack said.

"Yeah, well. Next time." Elizabeth said and smiled.

Jennifer exhaled and continued out the door and went straight to her room.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

She didn't return for dinner, when Nate had come by to ask if she would join them for dinner she said that she really wasn't feeling well and that she would stay in bed and rest.

Lying there in the dark she thought about how she'd felt when Nathan kissed her. Again, she asked herself what the hell was wrong with her and since when didn't she enjoy Nathan's kisses?

_Since I kissed Emily and she kissed me back...Oh my God...No NO! I can't feel this way... I... I can't..._

She pulled out the pillow from beneath her and put it over her head instead, hoping she could hide away from the these feeling that just wouldn't leave her alone.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Later that night Jennifer had gone to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash up before bed. It was a another really warm evening so she'd plan to sleep in nothing but her underwear. She pulled off her t-shirt and removed her bra then turned around to drink some water before she'd return to bed. As she met her reflection in the mirror she froze. On her shoulder, or rather on the beginning of her neck was a very visable hickey. How hadn't she noticed that before? With a slight panic she threw her t-shirt back on and thanked God that the mark didn't show by the collar of her shirt. Her heart was beating so fast, seeing that hickey reminded her of what she'd done and the thought of Nathan finding that mark on her skin made her feel completely terrified. She wasn't ready to deal with that and definitely not here at the cabin.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

When Nate came to bed a couple of hours later she pretended to be asleep. He crawled up behind her and started to kiss her neck.

"Are you awake babe?" He mumbled against her skin.

Jennifer didn't respond, hoping he would stop if he thought she was asleep. That didn't work though. Nathan continued to kiss her neck and moved his hand under JJ's t-shirt and started to move upwards. She couldn't take it so she stopped his hand before it reached it's destination.

"Nate, please... I really don't feel well..." she mumbled.

"I can make you feel better..." He said and wriggled his hand free and continued his path upwards.

"I've missed you..." He said as he kissed her jawline and pulled her closer.

The more Nathan touched her and kissed her the more she felt like she wanted to crawl out of her skin. How could her feelings for him change so quickly? She pulled his hand out from underneath her t-shirt and sat up by the edge of the bed.

"What's wrong?" Nathan asked feeling rejected.

"I'm not feeling well. I think I might be coming down with something, it started yesterday and it's gotten worse today." She lied.

"I'm thinking about going home tomorrow." she continued.

"Home? But I just got back and I was looking forward to spending some time here." Nathan said.

"Why don't you stay then? Really, I'll probably be staying in bed and wont be much of a company anyway. I really don't mind." Jennifer said and turned towards her fiance.

"But if you're sick I wanna take care of you." He said sweetly and Jennifer's heart broke.

He was such a great guy and anyone who'd get a chance to marry him should feel like the luckiest woman on earth but Jennifer didn't.

"And we only have one car so maybe I'd better just go home with you." Nathan said.

"I know you wanna take care of me but really, it's okay. Stay and enjoy yourself, and you can probably borrow dad's car. He and Elizabeth are staying longer and they brought both their cars so I'm sure it's not a problem. Look, I know you're disappointed about the fishing trip but maybe you and dad could go out on the lake and try your luck here. There's got to be fish, I mean the lake is huge. So just stay, really I'm fine." Jennifer said and smiled.

"Okay. I'll stay for a day or two but then I'm coming home to you." Nathan said.

"Okay."

He kissed her gently.

"Come back to bed, I'll be good I swear." Nathan said with a smile and Jennifer laid back down and let Nathan hold her.

_How can I let him down? He'll be crushed... What am I gonna do?_

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Jennifer packed her things together the first thing next morning. Nathan was still asleep when she sneaked out of their room to go grab some coffee before she'd leave. When she entered the kitchen Elizabeth's sat by the table. She noticed Jennifer's bag and looked at her questioningly.

"Good morning. Are you going somewhere?" Elizabeth asked.

"I'm going home..." Jennifer answered.

"Oh..." Elizabeth didn't question the woman. She understood her need to leave.

"What did you say to Nathan?" she asked.

"I told him I wasn't feeling okay, that I might be coming down with something. He's gonna stay though. Just for a day or two but hopefully it will give me enough time to figure this out." Jennifer explained. Elizabeth nodded.

"Are you leaving right this minute or do you have time for breakfast?" the older woman asked.

Jennifer smiled.

"I have time for breakfast."

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

After breakfast she went back to her and Nathan's room to say goodbye to her fiance. When he leaned in to kiss her goodbye she turned her head and the kiss landed on her cheek instead. She told him she would call him later.

Elizabeth had gone outside after breakfast and was sitting in the sun on the front porch. She got up from the chair when the blonde stepped outside.

"I'll walk you to your car." she said and smiled.

As they walked to the car Jennifer noticed her father down by the lake.

"What is he doing?" she asked Elizabeth.

"He's attempting to fix the old rowboat. Since the fishing trip ended up a fiasco he's determined to fix that old thing up and go out on the lake to try his luck." she explained.

Jennifer chuckled and shook her had.

"Typical dad. Well, it should keep him occupied with something at least. You know how he gets if he's too restless." Jennifer said.

"Oh don't I know it. I think that boat is beyond saving but I don't have the heart to tell him and as you said, it keeps him busy so I'll let him be." Elizabeth said and smiled.

Jennifer put her bag in the backseat and turned towards Elizabeth when she closed the door. The older woman pulled her in for a hug.

"I know you're confused and that you don't want to hurt anybody but whatever you decide to do, do it because it will make _you_ happy. Not anyone else. Promise me that okay?" Elizabeth whispered.

"I'll try... Thank you for everything Elizabeth." the blonde said and hugged the older woman a little tighter before she pulled back and smiled.

"Anytime sweetie, anytime..." Elizabeth said. She opened the door and Jennifer got in.

"Take care of yourself now you hear?"

"I will. Please tell dad that I wasn't feeling good and went back home. I can't face him, he'll know I'm hiding something." Jennifer pleaded.

"I'll tell him. Drive safely."

Jennifer smiled then pulled out of the driveway and down the old dirt road. She felt like she could breathe for the first time since Nate got back yesterday. She hated lying to him but she had no idea how she ever would be able to tell him about what happened between her and Emily. He would be devastated, that much she knew and she really didn't want to hurt him. Then her thoughts wandered to Emily and just thinking about her made her whole body tingle and she could actually feel butterflies dancing around in her stomach. She remembered how Emily touched her and kissed her and how wonderful it had been. Could she really ignore those feelings and just settle with what she had? Could she marry Nathan and spend the rest of her life with him? And if she did, would she be filled with regret every time she saw Emily again? Regret for not giving her a chance? Giving _them _a chance? Could she live with that?

_No... no...I can't live with that._

At that moment she made a decision.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

When she saw the big sign saying Chicago and the distance, printed in large white letters she didn't hesitate.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N**

**So I wasn't going to post this just yet but since I got so many nice reviews I didn't want to delay the suspense any longer :) You guys are awesome, really. I'm so happy so many are liking this story.**

**Also, from here on the updates will probably be a lot further apart. I'll really try to update as fast as I can but I have a couple of hectic weeks ahead of me with a LOT of school work so I'm sorry but that has to be my first priority. It sucks, I know...**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

_Isto é para você, só porque eu queria fazer você sorrir ;)_

Chapter 13.

The closer she got to the big city the more she questioned her own sanity. Had she even thought this through? No she hadn't and she didn't even know where Emily lived. Chicago isn't exactly a small town, how in the hell would she find the woman? She picked up her phone and scrolled down her phone book until she found the number she was looking for. Putting the device against her ear she waited nervously until finally there was a voice answering on the other side of the line.

"Hello?"

"Elizabeth, it's Jennifer. Are you alone?" JJ asked nervously.

"Jennifer? Yes, I'm alone. Believe it or not, Jack fixed the boat so he and Nathan has been out fishing the entire afternoon. They came back a while ago with a 4 lb bass which they are now preparing for dinner." Elizabeth said then added:

"Are you okay?"

"Uhm... I don't know what I'm doing... I'm a few miles outside of Chicago and before you ask, no I haven't thought this through but I have to see her..."Jennifer answered.

Elizabeth smiled on the other side of the line, she didn't want to say anything to the blonde when they talked earlier but she could see in Jennifer's eyes what she felt for her daughter.

"I see... well, I'd be lying if I say I didn't see this coming, but are you really sure about this? I think you need to be really sure Jennifer cause I don't think Emily could take another rejection from you. Now I don't know what happened exactly between you two but I think I have a pretty good guess and though I want you to hear this from Emily I have to tell you this; her feelings for you are very strong. I know you feel something for her too but I just don't want to see her get hurt, or you too for that matter. So just... are you sure about what you're doing?" Elizabeth said.

Jennifer had listened intently to what Elizabeth had been saying.

"No I'm not, my head is spinning and my mouth feel dry and I have no idea what to tell her but I know my feelings for her are very strong as well. I don't even know if she wants to see me but I have to talk to her... I just have to see her...Please Elizabeth, can you text me her address? Please?" Jennifer pleaded.

"Okay. I'll send you her address. Good luck." Elizabeth said.

"Thank you!" Jennifer said and hung up.

Elizabeth really hoped they would work things out but couldn't help but feel a little worried about how their 'reunion' would go. Her daughter deserved happiness and she knew that Jennifer could make her happy. She only hoped that the blonde had sorted herself out enough to know what she really want.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

It was almost dark by the time Jennifer parked her car outside Emily's condo. She was so nervous but she had to see her, she had to know... Before she got out of the car she called Nate.

"Hey babe! Are you feeling any better?" Nathan asked concerned.

She hated lying to him.

"A little, I just wanted to call you to say I made it back okay. I'm gonna go rest now, I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay, you just rest and we'll talk more tomorrow. I love you." Nate said.

"Me too, bye." She couldn't even tell him those three words back and she leaned her head against the steering wheel and took a couple of deep breaths before she got out of her car and slowly walked over to Emily's building. Elizabeth had sent her the door code too so she entered the four numbers and stepped inside the large foyer.

It was quite an impressive building. She walked over to the board and saw Emily's name and apartment number. She lived on the fifth floor so Jennifer walked over to the elevators and once inside, pressed 5. When the door closed her heart started to beat faster than ever before. Was she really ready for this?

_As ready as I'll ever be..._

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

She stood outside Emily's door for a good ten minutes at least. She had raised her hand several times but just as she was about to knock she couldn't do it.

_God just do it already! You've been outside her door for ten fucking minutes and all you really want is to be inside that door so just knock on the damn door!_

She took a deep breath and then knocked on the door very gently.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Emily sat under a blanket on her couch and watched a game show on TV. Suddenly she thought she heard something so she muted the sound on the TV and listened. Nothing. She shrugged her shoulders and put the sound back on. Then she heard a faint sound again. She turned around and realized someone was knocking on her door. She checked the time.

_Who's knocking at my door at this hour?_

She got up from the couch and walked over to the door. When she looked through the peephole her heart stopped. Jennifer was standing outside her door.

_Oh my God what is she doing here? _

Should she pretend that she wasn't home? No... she couldn't do that, she had to open the door. Taking a deep breath she removed the safety chain and then turned the lock before she slowly opened the door. Jennifer met her eyes and Emily could tell the blonde was very nervous.

"What are you doing here?" Emily asked softly.

Jennifer took a deep breath. Seeing Emily again stirred so many feelings inside and just looking into those beautiful brown eyes she knew she'd made the right decision coming here.

"Honestly, I don't know... I just had to see you..." she said softly.

"How did you know-" Emily started but stopped herself realizing her mother probably had something to do with this.

"My mom gave you the address." she continued and the blonde nodded.

"C-can I come in?" Jennifer asked tentatively.

Emily looked at her intensely and Jennifer found it hard to breathe.

"Yeah, of course." Emily said and stepped aside to let the blonde in.

Their bodies brushed slightly as Jennifer walked past the other woman and it instantly ignited something in the both of them.

Emily closed the door and gestured for Jennifer to go into the living room. The brunette paused by the entrance to the kitchen.

"Do you want something to drink?" she asked.

Jennifer turned around.

"Just a glass of water."

"Okay, go take a seat in the living room, I'll be right there." Emily said gently and walked into the kitchen.

She braced herself on her arms against the kitchen counter trying to calm herself down a little. She tried deep breaths, eyes closed but nothing worked. Sighing she filled a glass of water and walked back to the living room. Jennifer sat in one corner of the couch looking, well, pretty terrified.

"Thank you." the blonde said when Emily placed the glass on the table in front of her.

Emily took a seat at the opposite corner, casting a glance at the nervous blonde. Jennifer looked down at her hands trying to find the courage to start talking. It wasn't easy...

"Why are you here?" Emily broke the silence.

Jennifer looked up and met Emily's eyes.

"I just... I just had to see you... I'm so confused and I hate that everything turned into such a mess between us. I'm sorry if I hurt you Emily... I never meant to, you have to know that." the blonde said sincerely.

Emily just looked at her.

"I...I...uhm.." she sighed and got up from the couch. She walked over to the living room window and wrapped her arms around herself. She peered out the window trying to figure out what to say.

Jennifer watched the woman but remained seated.

"Emily... you... you've made me feel something I've never felt before and frankly, it scares the shit out of me..." Jennifer started.

"Yesterday Nathan and dad came back to the cottage earlier than planned, and I panicked... I couldn't face Nathan...I couldn't stand to see him hurt because of me..."

Emily blinked back the tears that had started to trickle down her cheek. She didn't want to hear about Nathan coming back, she didn't want to hear anything about Nathan period.

Jennifer had left the couch and was slowly making her way over to the brunette who still had her back turned towards the blonde.

"The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone but I realize that someone is going to get hurt no matter what and it's killing me..."

Emily couldn't take it anymore, she couldn't stand and listen to the blonde rejecting her again, cause that was what she was doing right? She turned around and came face to face with the blonde not caring that she had tears running down her cheeks.

"Look, if you've come all this way to just reject me again, you might as well leave now. I get it. You're marrying Nathan, you don't have to rub it in." Emily said starting to get slightly upset.

"What? That's not what-" Jennifer started but Emily interrupted her.

"Don't you get it by now? I want you! And I know it's crazy, I know that but I wanna be with you... I wanna be with you so badly but I get it, really I do. You're with someone else, you're not mine and you never will be mine and...God..." Emily looked down feeling completely devastated.

Jennifer stepped closer and took one of Emily's hands in her own.

"But I am... I am yours... I was yours from the moment I met you but I didn't realize it then. Emily... " Jennifer moved closer and cupped the brunette's cheek. Emily met her eyes and saw nothing but pure honesty in those deep blue eyes.

"I want you too... I know everything is a mess right now but the only thing I'm sure of is my feelings for you... " she moved even closer and captured Emily's lips in a soft kiss.

"This is new to me and so scary but when I look at you I feel butterflies dancing around in my stomach and my heart beat so fast that sometimes I think I'm having a heart attack. I know we've only just met and that this is completely crazy but I want you, I want this..." the blonde said and gestured between them.

"I'm yours Emily... " she whispered again before she kissed her again.

Emily wrapped her arms around Jennifer's waist and pulled her closer as she deepened the kiss. Jennifer moaned into Emily's mouth when their tongues met and she tilted her head so she could kiss her even deeper. The brunette moved her hands down to the hem of Jennifer's t-shirt and pulled it over her head quickly then captured her lips again. Jennifer copied the brunette's move and pulled Emily's tank top over her head then quickly started to work on removing her bra. Their hands were roaming all over each others bodies, pulling and jerking at clothes, both desperate to feel the others skin against their own.

Their kisses were heated with tongues and teeth clashing together and as they started to move towards the couch they left trails of discarded clothes on the floor behind them finally leaving them in only their underwear. When they reached the couch they stumbled down upon it. Emily landed on top of the blonde and left her mouth as she started to trail soft kisses down the incredibly soft skin on Jennifer's neck. She nibbled the skin on the blonde's shoulder before she continued to kiss down to Jennifer's breast.

"Oh God..." Jennifer moaned as she felt Emily's lips close around her nipple.

She pulled the brunette up again and captured her mouth in a heated kiss, Jennifer's tongue instantly found it's way into Emily's mouth.

"I want you..." Jennifer mumbled against Emily's lips as she continued to kiss the brunette passionately.

She moved to sit up making Emily follow her movement, never breaking the kiss. The blonde left Emily's mouth and placed hot, open mouth kisses on the brunette's cheek, along her jawline and towards her ear. She panted heavily into Emily's ear which made the brunette shiver with want. When Jennifer took Emily's earlobe between her teeth and nibbled lightly Emily felt an almost unbearable aching between her thighs and she grasped Jennifer's waist hard as the blonde continue to suck on her insanely soft lobe. When those delicious lips moved down to the side of her neck and started sucking gently, Emily moved her hands up to cup the blonde's breasts and gave them a gentle squeeze. Jennifer gasped and bit down on Emily's shoulder when she felt the brunette's thumbs rub over her nipples. Emily searched out Jennifer's mouth again and kissed her deeply. Her right hand left Jennifer's breast and moved down until she reached the hem of the blonde's underwear. Jennifer kissed her harder, encouraging her to continue with her movements and Emily obliged. Slipping her hand inside Jennifer's underwear she was shocked by how wet the blonde was.

Jennifer broke the kiss and gasped loudly as Emily's fingers slipped inside her. She had to put both hands on the brunette's shoulder to steady herself as Emily pushed deeper and she started to rock her hips against Emily's hand to gain even more friction. It didn't take long until Emily pushed her over the edge and she slumped down against her. Emily caught the blonde and held her until she came down from her climax. Jennifer breathed heavily against Emily's neck and when she'd composed herself she pulled back and looked into Emily's dark brown eyes. They were filled with emotion and she could only imagine hers was as well.

"You're so beautiful..." the blonde whispered and touched Emily's face.

Emily just looked at her, she still couldn't believe that Jennifer was here, in her arms again. The blonde leaned in to kiss her again and slowly pushed her tongue inside Emily's mouth, eager to feel the other woman's tongue against her own. She had to admit, it was becoming addictive. She pushed Emily back against the couch and covered her body with her own as she continued to kiss her deep and very slowly. It was the most erotic kiss she'd ever experienced and she was getting turned on again. Emily's heart was beating uncontrollably fast as Jennifer's tongue continued to swirl around with her own and she thought she would come from just kissing the other woman.

The blonde noticed that Emily started to writhe beneath her and figured she was close. Slowly she moved one hand down between their bodies and slipped inside the brunette's underwear. Emily couldn't breathe when Jennifer touched her like this again. She had to break the kiss and gasped for air as the other woman found her most sensitive spot and started to move her fingers in small circles. Jennifer wanted to touch the woman beneath her more, to make her feel what she had felt when Emily touched her, but felt hindered by Emily's underwear. Pulling her hand out she immediately started to work with removing the interfering object.

Emily breathed heavily as she felt Jennifer tug at her underwear and lifted her hips to assist the blonde. As soon as the obstacle was gone Jennifer quickly removed her own underwear too before she repositioned herself so she was lying on her side, still half on top of Emily and leaned forward to capture the brunette's lips again. Emily kissed her back hungrily and shivered when Jennifer's hand touched her stomach and then continued south till she reached the place that ached to be touched. The blonde moved her fingers slowly through Emily's folds and when Emily gasped loudly she felt encouraged to continue. She started to kiss down the brunette's jawline and licked a path down to the crook in Emily's neck. Her skin was so soft, she let the tip of her tongue trace small patterns on the brunette's shoulder and nibbled the flesh lightly with her teeth all the while her fingers continued to explore. Emily panted and her hips had started to move against the blonde's hand, desperately needing more pressure.

Jennifer realized that Emily was close and she wanted to give her release. Moving her fingers further down she slowly slipped a finger inside Emily's core and moaned by the sensation of being inside her for the first time. Emily started to rock her hips faster and Jennifer had never been more aroused in her life. Touching Emily like this and watching the woman writhe in pleasure beneath her made her feel more confident and she slowly added a second finger. Emily gasped violently as she met Jennifer's thrusts and the blonde felt an aching need between her own thighs. She moved her mouth up to meet Emily's again and repositioned herself again so she was straddling Emily's thigh.

Emily was so close and when she felt Jennifer's wetness on her thigh and those beautiful fingers working inside her she couldn't hold it back anymore. Her walls closed around Jennifer's fingers as her body shook in the most powerful orgasm she'd ever had. Jennifer was grinding down hard on Emily's thigh and second's later she collapsed on top of the brunette as she reached her second orgasm, her fingers still buried deep inside of Emily.

Both women breathed heavily as they tried to compose themselves. So many emotions were running through the both of them and it was a little overwhelming. Jennifer slowly pulled her fingers out of Emily's core which made the other woman gasp loudly. The blonde kissed Emily's neck and smiled against her skin as Emily wrapped her arms around her.

They stayed like that for a long time, Jennifer lying half on top of Emily, their legs entangled and Emily's arms around the blonde. Jennifer was drawing lazy patterns on one of Emily's arms with her finger and she felt like she was on the verge of falling asleep. Emily noticed that the blonde's breaths were starting to become heavier and her movements stilled.

"Are you awake?" she asked softly.

"Barely..." Jennifer mumbled.

"Come on... let's go to bed." Emily suggested and felt the blonde nod against her chest.

Jennifer slowly removed herself from Emily and as she sat up on the couch Emily grabbed a blanket and wrapped around the sleepy blonde. Jennifer leaned her head against Emily's shoulder as she lead them toward her bedroom.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Once inside Emily quickly pulled the bedspread off of the bed and then the two women crawled beneath the covers. Jennifer snuggled up against Emily who wrapped an arm around the blonde and pulled her closer. They fell asleep within minutes in each others arms.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N**

**Thank you so much for all reviews on the last chapter, you guys are great!**

**Chapter 15 will be up in a few days ;)**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 14.

Jennifer was the first one to wake up the next morning. They had repositioned themselves in their sleep and as Jennifer slowly opened her eyes she was lying on her side and was met with Emily's peaceful face just a few inches away from her own. Emily's left arm was still around her waist and Jennifer's arms were tucked between their bodies. She lifted her right hand and pushed a few stray strands of brown hair behind Emily's ear then left her hand on the brunette's cheek.

She studied the woman before her, taking in all her features. She was beyond beautiful but that wasn't what she was drawn to. She had the most loving heart, something Jennifer's was certain she'd inherited from her mother. She was caring and tender and really funny. She loved her sense of humor and she loved how easily Emily could make her laugh. Jennifer felt so safe in her arms, she felt like she belonged... Like she belonged there in Emily's arms... She could feel the butterflies in her stomach starting to flutter again and looking at the sleeping woman in front of her she knew...

"I've fallen in love with you..." she whispered.

Saying the words out loud, even though it was only a whisper made her heart beat faster. Did the brunette hear her? Did she _want _Emily to hear her? It both frightened her and excited her. The hand that was still resting on Emily's cheek was slowly stroking the sleeping woman's face. She grazed her thumb over Emily's soft lips and couldn't resist. She leaned forward and placed a soft lingering kiss on those beautiful lips. As she pulled back she noticed that the brunette had a small smile on her face.

"This is a nice way to wake up." Emily mumbled and slowly opened her eyes.

"Sorry... I didn't mean to wake you, I just couldn't help myself..." Jennifer said softly and smiled back as she met Emily's warm gaze.

"Definitely not complaining..." Emily said seriously and looked deep into Jennifer's eyes.

The blonde swallowed hard as Emily looked intensely at her and as the brunette leaned in closer her breath caught just before those amazing lips touched hers. Her eyes closed as Emily's lips moved over hers and the hand that rested on Emily's face moved into dark brown hair as Jennifer pulled the other woman closer. It was a soft kiss, no tongue and no roaming hands, just the soft touch of their lips moving against each other. Emily placed a single kiss on Jennifer's nose before she pulled back and looked at the blonde again.

"I'm so happy you're here..." Emily whispered.

"Me too..." Jennifer confessed.

"What happened at the cottage?" Emily wondered while she entangled her fingers in soft blonde curls.

"Well, dad and Nate came back earlier. They had to cancel their trip because the weather forecast had changed and... I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to face Nathan so I lied and told him I was getting sick and wanted to go back home. He wanted to stay for a couple of days, thank God. Then as I was driving and saw the Chicago sign I don't know... I just needed to see you..." Jennifer said softly before she continued.

"I'm really sorry for how I acted when you brought me to Merrill's bay... I was so confused and in denial... and I felt so guilty for betraying Nate... I tried to tell myself that I didn't feel something for you and that what happened between us was a mistake but it didn't work... When I pushed you away... I thought I was doing the right thing and I thought that once I'd get you out of my head everything would go back to normal but I couldn't stop thinking about you..." she whispered that last part.

"The night when Nate was back he started kissing my neck and I knew what his intentions were but I couldn't go through with it... It felt wrong when he touched me and kissed me and I felt so bad for feeling that way cause he's my fiance, you know? He's the guy I'm supposed to marry and there I was, wanting your touch and your kisses..."

Emily swallowed hard as she listened to what Jennifer said. She couldn't quite believe what she was hearing, could this really be happening, for real?

"I can't marry him Emily... I can't marry him when... when I'm in love with someone else..."

Emily's breath caught, was she dreaming?

"What?..." she whispered out very confused.

Jennifer smiled and leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Emily's lips.

"Is... is this a dream? Am I dreaming this?" Emily stuttered.

"No... it's very real..." Jennifer said softly then kissed her again.

Emily put both her hands on the blonde's face and pulled back slightly so she could look at her.

"Emily I know this doesn't make any sense and I can't explain it but no one has ever made me feel like you do..."

"I've been in love with you from the first day I met you... That night when we talked in the swing... I fell for you faster than I've ever fallen before and I'll have you know I've never believed in this whole 'love-at-first-sight' thing but I think I'll have to start rethink... You took me completely by surprise and it was so hard to pretend that I wasn't insanely attracted to you and so hard to suppress the feelings I had for you cause you were taken and also straight." Emily said and stroked Jennifer's hair softly.

"When you kissed me... Everything I had tried to fight, every feeling I had tried to keep inside just poured out of me and there was just no way I could put them back...I didn't want to put them back..." Emily said softly.

Jennifer smiled and closed the distance between them with a gentle kiss.

"You know that we're completely crazy right?" Jennifer mumbled against Emily's lips.

"Oh I know..." Emily mumbled back and kissed her softly.

When they parted Emily looked a little distant.

"Hey... What are you thinking about?" Jennifer asked tentatively and stroked Emily's cheek.

Emily looked down but Jennifer tilted the brunette's chin until she met those brown eyes again.

"I don't wanna ruin this..." Emily started.

"And I don't wanna put any pressure on you but... I have to know... Are you really sure about this? Because if there's even a tiny bit of hesitation tell me now and we can end this..." that last line was killing her.

They'd hardly even begun and thinking about ending whatever they had was awful but she had to be sure. She lifted her hand and caressed Jennifer's face gently.

"I wanna be with you... so if you're not sure this is what you want, that **I **am what you want just tell me now cause I can't stand the thought of being with you only to lose you..." she finished.

Jennifer could see fear and so much vulnerability in those beautiful brown eyes she'd completely fallen in love with. Hearing Emily say that they could end this thing that had happened between them if Jennifer wasn't sure, made the blonde's heart ache. She slowly leaned forward and capture Emily's lips in a tender kiss. The second her lips touched Emily's she knew without a doubt what she wanted. Not that she hadn't known before but there was still this little voice in the back of her head that had planted a seed of doubt about all of this. Ending this thing with Emily and go back to Nathan would without a doubt be the easiest thing. They would get married and probably have kids and life would be simple. It was as if it was already decided, her and Nathan had been together for so long so everybody around them expected them to get married and start a family. That was just how it was and it would probably have happened too if she hadn't met Emily... The woman who's lips were moving tenderly against her own had stolen her heart so completely and she knew without a doubt she didn't want it back.

"I am sure..." the blonde mumbled against Emily's lips.

As they slowly parted Jennifer looked deep into Emily's eyes and hoped the woman could see the sincerity of those three words reflected in her eyes.

"I couldn't bare losing you..." Emily whispered.

"You wont... I wanna be with you... I want _you_ Emily... but honestly I'm terrified..." the blonde said softly.

"I don't even want to think about how I'm gonna have to deal with everything cause I know so many people are going to get hurt because of me... I'm terrified of telling Nate..." she whispered that last line.

"He's gonna be so hurt Emily..." she continued softly.

Emily swallowed hard, she couldn't help but feel like maybe the blonde wasn't so sure after all. Jennifer noticed the change in Emily's face.

"Emily, I wanna be with you..." she said again looking straight into uncertain brown eyes.

"I've never felt this strong about anyone ever before...I just... I just need some time to fix things okay? Please say you'll wait for me?..." she whispered that last line and looked pleadingly into Emily's eyes.

Emily felt her heart fill with love for this woman beside her, she would wait an eternity if she had to. Slightly overwhelmed with emotions she could only nod. Jennifer smiled sweetly and pulled Emily in for a hug. Emily nuzzled her nose against Jennifer's shoulder and placed a tender kiss on her soft skin. When they pulled back Emily kissed the blonde gently.

"Please stay with me today..." Emily asked gently.

She knew the blonde would have to go back before Nate would get home but she didn't want her to leave. Jennifer kissed her tenderly.

"I really really want to... but... I don't know when Nate is planning to leave the cottage and I have to get home before he will... I'm sorry..." Jennifer said and stroked Emily's cheek.

"I understand. It's okay." Emily said meekly.

Jennifer kissed her gently again.

"Do you want to take a shower before you leave? There's fresh towels and everything else you need in the bathroom." Emily said gently.

"Yeah that would be nice." Jennifer replied.

"If you go and take a shower I can make us some breakfast in the meantime." Emily said sweetly.

"Okay." Jennifer said softly and smiled.

Emily got up from the bed and put on a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Jennifer sat on the edge of the bed and watched the other woman get dressed. She had a bed sheet wrapped around her naked body. She couldn't help but smile as she watched the brunette, she was so beautiful and sweet and the blonde's heart started to beat faster just by looking at her.

Emily didn't noticed she was being watched until she was about to open the door to the bedroom. She turned around and met Jennifer's gaze.

"What?" the brunette asked puzzled with a small smile.

"You're beautiful..." Jennifer said softly.

Emily felt her cheeks flush by that comment and she looked down. Jennifer got up from the bed and walked over to the brunette. She tilted Emily's chin so she could meet her eyes again.

"You're so beautiful..." she whispered before she kissed her.

Emily wrapped her arms around the smaller woman's waist and gasped as Jennifer deepened the kiss. Their tongues met and as Jennifer tilted her head to the side so she could kiss Emily even deeper the brunette felt a pool of wetness between her legs. She couldn't believe the effect Jennifer had on her, no one had ever made her so turned on in just a matter of seconds.

Lips moving together and tongues swirling around in a very heated kiss made the blonde's head spin. She entangled her hands in Emily's hair and pulled the other woman even closer. Slowly she let her hands wander down over Emily's chest where she gently squeezed her breast through the fabric of Emily's t-shirt. The way the brunette moaned into her mouth encouraged the blonde to continue her exploration. She quickly grabbed the hem of Emily's t-shirt and pulled it over her head and mimicked Emily's actions from their night in the boathouse.

Emily gasped loudly when the blonde's lips closed around her nipple. She closed her eyes and breathed heavily as Jennifer's hand found her other breast and squeezed it gently. Trying to compose herself before she would lose control, Emily pulled Jennifer's head up and kissed her deeply, their tongues met instantly and Emily felt her knees go weak. She started to move them over back to the bed and pulled the bed sheet from Jennifer's body as they moved slowly towards the bed.

Her hands started to wander all over the blonde's naked body the second the sheet hit the floor and as they reached the bed she nudged Jennifer down on the bed then quickly removed her last piece of clothing before she climbed on top of the other woman.

Jennifer breathed heavily as Emily's lips started to place hot open mouth kisses all over her body. She let her own hands roam over Emily's body, she couldn't get enough of her. As Emily's mouth trailed a path of kisses down between Jennifer's breast and continued south Jennifer could breathe. When she felt the brunette gently nudge her legs apart she willingly obliged and as Emily's mouth found the heat between the legs for the second time she gasped violently. Jennifer grabbed the bed sheets and threw her head back as she felt Emily's tongue swirl around her clit. It was like nothing she'd ever experienced before. Emily certainly knew what she was doing and it felt amazing.

The blonde breathed heavily as Emily continued to please her with her tongue and didn't think she would last much longer. Suddenly Emily slipped two fingers inside and as she altered between sucking and flicking her tongue against Jennifer's harden nub the blonde exploded in the most intense orgasm she'd ever had.

Emily removed her fingers slowly which made the other woman shiver, then kissed her way up the blonde's body until she found her lips again. Jennifer was still trying to catch her breath but when Emily kissed her and she could taste herself on Emily's lips she instantly kissed her back with everything she had.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 15.

Jennifer flipped them over so she was on top. She kissed the woman beneath her deeply as her hands found Emily's breasts again. Squeezing them gently she was marvelled by how she'd never found women attractive before, well okay, she had but not like this... Being this intimate with Emily felt absolutely wonderful, no one had ever made her feel this turned on ever before. She wondered what all this meant, she was undeniably attracted to Emily and no one had ever made her feel like this... was she also gay? So many thoughts were begging to be processed but that would have to wait. She had an amazing woman in her arms and she was dying to make her feel just as good as she herself had felt just minutes ago.

She broke the kiss and trailed kisses down Emily's neck and continued down till she could replace her hands with her mouth. Taking Emily's nipple into her mouth filled the blonde with a sensation she'd never experienced before. Everything she was doing was so new and a little scary but at the same time she felt like she'd always done this. It was strange but that was how she felt.

Switching her attention to Emily's other nipple the blonde heard soft moans escaping Emily's mouth and that gave her courage to continue with what she wanted to do...

Leaving Emily's breast she continued to trail kisses further and further down her torso. When she reached Emily's firm abs she drew small patterns with the tip of her tongue over well-sculptured musculature. Emily breathed heavily as Jennifer's tongue was teasing her skin and her abs flexed from the sensation Jennifer was giving her.

The blonde grazed her fingertips over Emily's abs and was completely mesmerized by her body. She glanced up and saw Emily's chest rise and fall quickly and then she placed a soft lingering kiss on her stomach before she proceeded.

When Emily realized where Jennifer was going she sat up quickly and pulled the woman back on top of her. Jennifer looked at the blonde quizzically. Emily breathed heavily.

"You don't have to do that... i-if you're not ready..." Emily stuttered shyly.

Jennifer smiled and kissed her deeply to tell her without words that she was ready and that she wanted to do it. As she pulled away she met Emily's eyes with a look that said everything. Emily just nodded and as the blonde again started to kiss down her body she closed her eyes and grasped the bed sheets tightly.

Jennifer was really nervous as she kissed her way down Emily's stomach again. What if she wasn't ready? She really had no idea what she was doing, what if she would freak out? Bracing herself she continued, she thought about how Emily had made her feel and she wanted to make Emily feel the same.

When her tongue touched the wetness between Emily's thighs for the first time any doubt she'd had about not getting this right vanished. They way Emily was writhing and the sounds she made spurred Jennifer on and she slowly started to explore this new territory with her lips and tongue.

To say it was anything other than amazing would be a lie. To touch Emily this intimate was intoxicating and she instantly felt like this was something she definitely wanted to do again.

Remembering what Emily had done, she tried to copy her moves and judging by the short gasps coming from the brunette she was obviously doing something right. Mimicking Emily's moves earlier she slowly slipped a finger inside the brunette's core and felt her walls close around her finger instantly.

Emily was so close and when the blonde slipped another finger inside and moved the tip of her tongue a little faster it was all it took for the brunette to fall over the edge. Her walls constricted around Jennifer's fingers and her whole body shivered as wave after wave of mind blowing pleasure washed over her. She didn't even notice when Jennifer lay down on top of her again and kissed the side of her neck softly.

When the blonde gently nibbled on Emily's earlobe the brunette was brought back to reality.

"You're amazing..." Jennifer whispered against Emily's neck.

Emily put both her hands on Jennifer's face and pulled the woman up so her lips could meet the blonde's. Jennifer parted her lips and met Emily's tongue in a slow, sensual and lingering kiss. Kissing Emily was certainly addictive and the blonde couldn't get enough of Emily's lips and tongue. When they parted Jennifer kissed Emily's nose softly and then gave her lips one last peck.

"_You're_ amazing Jennifer..." Emily said seriously and looked deep into beautiful blue eyes.

Jennifer's smile faded as she looked into Emily's eyes. God, how that woman made her feel... The butterflies in her stomach were back and doing somersaults like crazy. Her heart was beating fast and she felt all tingly. She swallowed hard and slowly leaned her forehead against Emily's. The brunette closed her eyes.

"I don't ever want to let you go..." Emily whispered.

Jennifer pressed her lips against Emily's and kissed her softly, hoping with that kiss that she could convey with her lips what words couldn't say. When they parted they rested their foreheads together again and Emily stroked the blonde's arms gently.

"Are you hungry?" Emily asked with a smile.

"Actually, yeah, I am." Jennifer replied and smiled back.

"Well, if you still want to take a shower go ahead. I'm gonna go fix us something to eat, okay?" Emily said and the blonde nodded.

Emily reluctantly entangled herself from the blonde and sat up by the edge of the bed. Just as she was about to get up Jennifer grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down and instantly captured the brunette's lips in a tender kiss.

"Okay, now you can go." Jennifer mumbled against Emily's lips and smiled as she pulled back.

Emily smiled back widely, then even more reluctantly left the bed and picked up her discarded clothes from the floor. Before she walked out of the bed room she turned around and smiled.

"Take your time. I'll be in the kitchen." the brunette said and winked before she walked out.

Jennifer slumped back down against the mattress with a wide smile on her lips. She'd thought about asking the other woman to join her in the shower but she figured that would delay them even more and though she really didn't want to leave, she knew she had to go back home in a little while.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

The shower was wonderful. When she'd dried herself and put on her clothes she walked into the kitchen where Emily stood by the counter with her back turned. The blonde sneaked up behind the other woman and wrapped her arms around Emily's waist and placed a kiss on the side of her neck. Emily dropped the knife she was holding and put both hands on Jennifer's arms.

"Hey..." Emily said softly.

"Hi... It smells really good." Jennifer said and placed another kiss on Emily's neck.

"You smell really good..." she mumbled against Emily's skin.

Emily closed her eyes and squeezed Jennifer's arms as the blonde continued to place soft kisses on her neck.

"Shall we eat?" Emily asked.

She really just wanted to throw the blonde against the counter and have her way with her but she knew they couldn't. Jennifer had to leave soon and Emily didn't want to put the blonde in a complicated situation just because she wanted the blonde to stay with her. It took a lot of willpower to entangled herself from the blonde's arms.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

They ate in some what silence, both women had a lot of things on their minds and both just really dreaded the moment when Jennifer had to leave.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Jennifer was very aware of the fact that she was prolonging their breakfast as much as possible cause she really didn't want to leave which Emily noticed. She slowly reached for the blonde's hand.

"Hey... are you okay?" Emily asked tenderly.

Jennifer looked up and met the brunette's eyes. She sighed and gave Emily a small smile.

"I just... I don't wanna go..." she said softly.

Emily got up from her seat and walked over to the blonde. She knelt in front of her and pulled her in for a hug.  
>Jennifer wrapped her arms around Emily's neck and buried her face in the crook of the brunette's neck.<p>

"I know I can't stay, I know I have to deal with this but..." she sighed against Emily's skin.

"I just wanna be with you..." the blonde whispered.

Emily got up on her feet and pulled the other woman up with her so she could hold her tighter.

"I wanna be with you too but I'm not going anywhere..." Emily whispered and kissed the side of Jennifer's head.

Jennifer held the woman in her arms tighter.

They stood like that just holding each other for several minutes. Being in Emily's arms felt so right, it really felt like Emily's arms were made to hold her, that she belonged there...  
>She pulled back slightly to look into mesmerizing brown eyes. God she had beautiful eyes... She studied Emily's face as if trying to memorize her features before she slowly closed the gap between them.<p>

What started out as a soft and tender kiss escalated within seconds into a passionate fire where tongues swirled together and lips moved frantically against each other.

Before either woman had registered what happened, Jennifer was up on the counter and Emily stood between her legs, two fingers buried deep inside the blonde as her mouth was sucking frantically on Jennifer's neck.

Jennifer panted violently as she moved her hips against Emily's hand to meet her thrusts. Within seconds Emily had pushed her over the edge and as soon as the blonde had composed herself she got off the counter, pinned Emily to it and pushed her hand inside Emily's pants...

Emily gasped violently as the blonde quickly pushed the brunette over the edge as well. Emily rested her forehead against Jennifer's shoulder as she tried to get her breathing back to normal. Pulling back she met blue eyes gazing back at her.

"I'm sorry, I got carried away..." Emily said softly.

Jennifer just smiled at the woman before her, she was the sweetest thing.

"You don't have to apologize Emily..." the blonde replied gently.

"I know, but I know you really need to get back home and-" she was interrupted by the blonde.

"Emily! Stop, okay?" Jennifer said with a smile.

She leaned in and kissed the brunette and told her with her moving lips that she got just as carried away as Emily did .

"Okay..." Emily said when they parted.

Jennifer kissed her again quickly then rearranged her clothes.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Emily followed Jennifer to the door. There was a moments awkwardness when neither knew what to say. It felt like it was a goodbye and though both women knew what they wanted they couldn't help but feel that way. Emily pulled the other woman close and held her tight. Jennifer's wrapped her arms around Emily's waist and closed her eyes as she felt Emily puller even closer.

"This is not a goodbye..." Emily whispered and Jennifer grabbed the fabric of Emily's sweater tight when she heard those words.

"I don't know when we'll see each other again..." Jennifer whispered back.

"But I know I want you Emily..." she continued.

Emily kissed her hair softly.

"I know I've already asked you this but I just need to be sure... I need to know that you'll really wait for me..." the blonde whispered.

Emily pulled back and looked into Jennifer's eyes puzzled.

"I don't know how I'm gonna deal with everything back home, w-with Nate... I don't know how long it will take but I need to know that you will wait for me... c-can you do that? Can you wait for me?..." Jennifer asked nervously.

Emily gazed into her beautiful blue eyes and knew the answer immediately, like she had known when Jennifer asked her the very same question before.

"Of course I'll wait for you... No matter what, I'll wait for you for as long as it takes Jennifer..." Emily answered truthfully.

Jennifer released a breath she didn't realize she was holding and pulled Emily in for another hug.

They held each other in silence for a few moments longer until Jennifer reluctantly pulled away and with one last lingering kiss left Emily alone in the hall.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

As Jennifer passed the 'Welcome to Wisconsin' sign everything inside her wanted to turn the car around and go back to Chicago, back to Emily... She knew she couldn't. The only way for her to really be with Emily was to start dealing with everything else.

_God this is gonna be such a mess..._

Suddenly she thought about what her father would say when he found out.

_Oh my God, dad... _

A slight feeling of panic washed over her at that thought. She hadn't really thought about that...

_He's going to freak out... He's marrying Emily's mother and we're practically going to be family and here I am... In love with his soon to be step-daughter... Oh God... this will not be good..._

How she would deal with Nathan was something she hadn't thought about. As soon as the thought appeared she'd managed to push it to the back of her head, she was too afraid to even think about it.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Back at Emily's place the brunette had showered and changed into new clothes. Then she'd stopped by the supermarket to get some groceries and was now back in her apartment. It still felt like a dream that Jennifer had been there, in her arms just a few hours ago, telling Emily she wanted to be with her. It couldn't be real could it? It felt too good to be true and Emily was certain she would wake up from this dream anytime now.

Her phone ringing snapped her out of her thoughts.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 16.

Picking up the phone from the table she saw her mother's name on the display. She hadn't talked to her since she left the cottage two days earlier and she knew she couldn't avoid talking to her forever so she sighed and pressed answer.

"Emily? Are you there?" Elizabeth asked immediately.

"Yeah mom, I'm here."

"Oh good. I've been really worried about you. So.. are you okay? I mean are you-" the older woman started, not knowing how to ask what she really wanted to ask.

Emily sighed.

"I know you told Jennifer where I live and no, I'm not mad at you." Emily answered the non-asked question.

"Oh, okay. Good. Emily I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just let you leave like that but I was just so shocked by what you told me, I couldn't even move." Elizabeth explained.

"It's okay mom. I understand and really, I just needed to get away from it all you know."

"I know and I get that. But you must know that I'm not disappointed in you. I was surprised to say the least and obviously shocked but never disappointed. I love you unconditionally and I will be here to help you through this in any way that I can okay?" Elizabeth said and Emily felt a lump in her throat.

"Thank you mom..." she said as she tried to hold back tears.

"What happened? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to but did Jennifer come to see you?" Elizabeth asked softly.

"Yes... she came." Emily started, still feeling emotional but the threatening tears were under control now.

"And?" Elizabeth asked tentatively.

"We talked and..." Emily started not quite sure how to finish.

"You know I talked to her on the evening of the day you left." Elizabeth said.

"You did?" Emily asked surprised.

"Yes. She was very upset and I couldn't just ignore it so I talked to her." there was a long pause.

"She cares a great deal about you, you know." Elizabeth said.

"I know..." Emily whispered.

"It's just... Are you sure of what you're doing?"

"What do you mean mom?"

"Listen honey, you'll always have my support no matter what, you know that. It's just... there's a lot of things at stake here... many people are involved so, are you really sure about this?" Elizabeth had to ask.

Emily sighed and contemplated what her mother was asking her and yes, a lot of things were at stake and a lot of people were involved in some way but she'd never been more sure in her entire life.

"Mom... I know you only want what's best for me and I know a lot of things are at stake here but... I love her mom... I've never felt like this about anyone ever before... I know it doesn't make any sense because we've just met and I can't explain it, but I feel like I've known her all my life... I know everything will be really complicated because she's already engaged and because you and her dad are getting married but... I wanna be with her..." Emily explained.

"I figured you'd say that." Elizabeth said on the other end of the line and smiled.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt Emily, or Jennifer too for that matter. If you guys pursue this, know it wont be easy. I really have no idea how Jack will react to this news and Nate..." Elizabeth said worried.

"I know mom... I know it wont be easy and I asked Jennifer if she was really sure about what she wanted because I couldn't handle it if she'd change her mind but she's sure and I'm sure..." Emily said.

"She's in love with you too." It was more of a statement than a question and though Elizabeth already had figured that much out when she talked to the blonde she just wanted to get it confirmed.

"Yes..." Emily said softly.

"So what happens now?" Elizabeth wondered.

"She's on her way home and she's planning to talk to Nate but I don't know... She said she wants to be with me and I believe her but it's not gonna be easy..." Emily said.

"No it's not. Her whole life has been turned upside down and it's gonna be 'upside down' for her for a while." Elizabeth said.

"Yeah I know..."

"Hey... I'm happy for you Emily." Elizabeth said sincerely.

"And yes, you're right, the circumstances _could_ have been better but sometimes things happen that are beyond our control but that doesn't make what you're feeling, what either of you are feeling, wrong in any way. The heart wants what the heart wants." Elizabeth said.

"Wait a minute, when did Jennifer leave?" Elizabeth wondered.

"Uhm, a while ago." Emily answered.

"Nathan left early this morning, he wanted to get home and take care of Jennifer and he's going to come home to an empty house." Elizabeth said.

Emily couldn't help but feel guilty, Nathan was such a sweet and caring guy and he really didn't deserve any of this. She thought about the confrontation that would most likely take place as soon as Jennifer got home and she just wanted to be there.

"Oh...That's not good. Mom, I really gotta go. Call you back tonight okay? Love you. Bye." Emily finished and ended the call then instantly dialed Jennifer's number.

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Jennifer smiled when she saw Emily's name on the display and answered gleeful.

"Hey! I was just thinking about you." the blonde said sweetly.

"Jennifer, Nate is probably going to be home when you get there." Emily said getting straight to the point.

"What?" Jennifer said instantly feeling a panic rising.

"I just talked to mom and she said that Nate had left early this morning." Emily explained.

"Oh God..." Jennifer said slowly.

Everything was suddenly turned completely around, this was not how this was suppose to happen. The plan was that she would've had time to mentally prepare herself before Nate would come home but now, he could already be home... How would she ever manage to explain where she'd been without him getting suspicious? Maybe it was just best if she just came out and told him, no lies no evasiveness just the truth...

_Oh God I don't know if I'm ready for this..._

"Are you still there?" Emily asked when the line went silent.

"Yeah, yeah.. I'm here I just..." Jennifer mumbled.

"I wish I could be there... Do you want me to come?" Emily asked tentatively.

"No, it's okay... I have to do this on my own." Jennifer answered.

"Okay. Just, I'm here... Call me if you need me or if there's something I can do, okay?" Emily said.

"I know... and I will." Jennifer said gently.

"Okay."

"Thank you for calling and telling me this. I'll try to call you later okay?" Jennifer said.

"I'll be here. Bye..." Emily said softly sensing that the other woman didn't want to continue their conversation and that was understandable.

"Bye..." Jennifer replied and hung up.

She took a deep breath and closed her hands tight around the steering wheel. There was no use in speculating about what was going to happen when she got home, she braced herself for the worst as she continued her drive home.

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Her heart was pounding so hard against her ribcage when she made the last turn on the street that lead to their house. It only increased when she saw her dad's car parked on the driveway, Nathan was already home...

She pulled into the driveway and turned off the engine but made no attempt to leave the car. She looked down at her lap and realized she was wearing the same clothes she wore when she left the cottage. She had her bag in the trunk but that was forgotten as her need to see Emily was too powerful. So this was it, the confrontation would happen now. There was no way Nathan wouldn't notice that she wore the same clothes and by now he must have realized she'd never been home in the first place.

Before she had a chance to think of something to say, to explain, Nathan was by her car looking very worried.

"JJ? Are you okay? Where have you been? I thought you said you made it back last night but you haven't been here. Is everything alright?" He said as soon as he had opened the drivers door.

Jennifer smiled weakly and got out of the car. Nathan looked at his fiancee and saw that she was still in the same clothes as she wore yesterday morning, something was not right and he got a funny feeling in his stomach when he saw the expression on Jennifer's face.

"What's going on JJ?" he asked troubled.

"Can we go inside?" Jennifer asked and started to walk towards the front door.

Nathan nodded and followed her into the house.

The blonde dragged her hands through her hair and took a couple of deep breaths as she walked into the living room. Nathan stopped in the door way and looked at his fiancee who wasn't acting like herself.

"JJ please... Talk to me. What's going on? Why didn't you come home?" Nathan started.

Jennifer didn't know where to begin, how the hell do you tell the man you're suppose to marry that you've slept with someone else? That you in fact are in love with someone else and that that someone else is a woman? How do you start a conversation like that? Jennifer had no idea but she did know that she couldn't lie to him, she felt like shit for what she'd done so the least she could do was to be honest with him. He deserved that much.

"Nathan...I..." she started and turned around slowly.

The look on his face killed her, he looked like a sad puppy with questioning eyes. God she hated herself for what she was about to do.

"Where have you been?" Nathan asked and took a step closer to the blonde.

Jennifer felt sick.

"I..." she said again, not really finding the right words, well any words.

Nathan didn't like this one bit. Something had definitely happened and he had a strong feeling that no matter what it was, it wouldn't be good.

"JJ?"

"Yeah...No... I didn't come home." she started.

"Why? You weren't feeling well, you were going home to rest but you didn't? Where were you then?" Nathan asked confused.

"I... I was with Emily..." Jennifer answered meekly.

"Emily?" Nathan asked feeling slightly better at ease but it only lasted a moment.

"Yes..." the blonde answered.

Something about the way JJ was looking at him made him feel like there was more to come. He was right.

"Why were you with her? I thought she had an emergency at work?" Nathan said feeling more and more confused.

"There wasn't any emergency..." Jennifer said softly.

"There wasn't? Then why did she leave?" Nathan didn't understand.

"She..." the blonde swallowed hard.

"She... she left b-because of me..." Jennifer said so quietly that if the room hadn't already been dead silent Nathan wouldn't have heard her.

"What? What's that supposed to mean?" He asked puzzled.

Jennifer looked up at the ceiling trying to keep her tears at bay, it didn't work. As she looked down again and met Nathan's eyes tears had started to trickle down her cheeks. Nathan was so confused, what the hell had happened at the cottage while he was gone?

"I'm so sorry... I... God!..." she was crying now and Nathan just looked at her perplexed.

"I don't understand..." Nathan started.

"She left because of you? Did you have an argument or?..." the way Jennifer was looking at him gave him the answer.

"No..." he started, it couldn't be _that _could it? No way, JJ wasn't like 'that', there was just no way.

Jennifer closed her eyes and tears ran down her cheeks. As she opened them and met Nathan's confused eyes her heart broke.

"Tell me I'm reading this wrong? It couldn't be... you.. and her?"

"Nate, I... I don't know how it happened, it just did..."

Hearing JJ say that pretty much confirmed what he never in a million years thought could happen.

"So what are you saying JJ? Did something happen between you and her? Did... did you _sleep_ with her?" Nate asked bewildered.

He couldn't believe those words actually left his mouth and that they were directed to his own fiancee.

Jennifer looked down, the guilt was tearing her apart. Nathan felt his heart break into thousands pieces.

"You did..." he stated.

Jennifer looked up and nodded very slowly.

"Oh my God... I can't believe this..." he dragged his hands through his hair in despair.

It felt like his whole world was falling apart.

"Nathan...I'm so sorry..." she didn't know what else to say.

"You _slept_ with Emily? Who's like your step-sister?" Nathan said with a hint of disgust in his voice.

"We're not related..." she answered.

"Well, that makes it's so much better then." he said sarcastically and started to walk around in the living room.

"How could you do that JJ?"

"I don't know! It just happened and I hate myself for hurting you like this." Jennifer cried.

"God... Who are you?" he said clearly hurt.

"I never meant for this to happen and I'm so so sorry for hurting you like this, that was the last thing I wanted..." Jennifer said pleadingly.

"I feel like I don't even know you anymore... all these years we've been together, you really wanted to be with a _woman_ instead of me?" he said with disgust.

"No! That's not true, Emily's the only woman who's ever made me feel like this..." Jennifer confessed.

"So what does she make you feel then? Tell me please." he said, clearly upset.

Jennifer looked at him and knew that what she would say next could be the end of their relationship. Could she do it?

They had seven years together, seven wonderful years... What did she and Emily have? Not so much more than 7 days total... Could she really go through with this? Could she throw seven years away?


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N**

**OMG over 200 reviews! It's crazy and I did so not expect it when I started with this story. Thank you so much!**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 17

Could she do it? She was standing in front of the man she'd spent the most of her adult life with, the man she was supposed to marry in a couple of months, the man whos heart she held in her hands. Could she break it?

"I'm in love with her Nathan..."

There it was, the truth. She couldn't lie to him, she didn't want to lie to him. He deserved the truth and the truth was that she was in love with the brunette. She was more than in love, she loved her and though it was insane really she knew that that was how she was feeling and she couldn't pretend she didn't.

"What?..." Nathan said defeated.

"You're in love with her?...But you've only just met her JJ! God! This is not happening..." Nathan dragged his hands through his hair and tried to focus on his breathing that had escalated quite notably.

Jennifer was devastated. Nathan was absolutely crushed and it was all because of her.

"So what are you saying here? That you want to be with her, is that it?" Nathan challenged.

Jennifer could only nod weakly.

"God JJ! We have seven years together, seven! Doesn't that mean anything to you?" he was crying now as well.

"Of course it does!" Jennifer said.

"And still you wanna throw them away for what? For _her_?" he said with disgust.

"Yes..." she whispered.

"I... I'm so sorry for hurting you like this..." Jennifer said with tears streaming down her face.

He looked at her with disgust. Who was this woman? He didn't know anymore. This wasn't the woman he'd spent seven years of his life, loving. That woman would never do this, would she?

"How can you do this Jennifer... I love you and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you but you rather have a fling with your step-sister... You disgust me!" Nathan said spiteful.

"I love her Nathan... I know you think I'm crazy and I probably am but that's how I feel and I can't change that... I don't want to change that... The years I've spent with you have been wonderful, you know that and I loved you... but-"

"_Loved_ me?... You _loved_ me JJ? You don't love me anymore is that what you're saying?" Nathan said getting even more upset.

Jennifer just looked at him not knowing how to answer that. It was true though, she didn't love him, well she did _love _him, she just wasn't _in love_ with him anymore and if she was being honest she hadn't been for a while. Meeting Emily stirred up all kinds of new emotions inside her and then she really knew.

"Of course I love you...I'm just..."

God this was so hard.

"I'm just... I'm just not in love with you anymore..." she finally confessed.

"Get out..." Nathan said through gritted teeth.

Jennifer knew it would come to this but it still hurt her beyond words. Seeing Nathan like this killed her but it had been inevitable. Hearing Nathan tell her to get out felt like a slap to the face. She shouldn't be surprised that he reacted like this but a part of her still was. It hurt... It hurt so much but she just nodded and without another word grabbed her purse and left their house.

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She had no idea what to do or where to go. For the past hour she'd just driven around with no definite aim. Should she go back to Chicago, to Emily? God how she wanted to be in her arms but she wasn't in a state to drive that far. She pulled off the road and parked her car outside a little bed and breakfast place just outside of town. She decided that maybe it was best to stay there for the night and try to deal with everything else in the morning. She wasn't really hungry but after she'd payed for a room she walked into the diner to get something to eat anyway.

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Emily was restless, she couldn't sit down for more than a minute then she was up and pacing around. The suspense was killing her, she wanted to know what had happened and if Jennifer was alright and God how she wanted to be there.

"This is insane! What am I doing here?" she mumbled to herself then grabbed her purse, phone and her bag that was still standing by the door where she left it the day she returned from the cottage.

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She didn't even stop to think if this was such a wise decision. It was too late to turn around now though, she had already driven for three hours. She'd tried to call the blonde several times but she just reached her voice mail. She'd found Jennifer address and was now following the GPS instructions.

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As the voice instructed that she'd reached her destination she really started to think that this was not a good idea. What the hell should she say? She drove past Jennifer's house and turned around and parked by the side of the road a couple of houses down the street. Her heart was beating so fast.

_This is crazy, what am I doing here? What the hell was I thinking?_

She checked her watch for the time and sighed, 10.53 PM.

_So this was not the most well thought-out thing you'd done... Dammit! _

She couldn't do it, she couldn't actually walk up to Jennifer's door and knock, not at this hour and... just no! This was a very thoughtless action from the brunette who just went with what her heart told her and not her head. So what now? She couldn't drive all the way back to Chicago, that was like four hours and her mother's cottage wasn't that much closer. Without that much hesitation she started her car and drove away from Jennifer's street and went back into town to get a hotel room for the night.

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After she'd had something to eat Jennifer had headed to her room and once inside she crashed down on the bed and felt how all energy she had left just left her body. She was exhausted and fell asleep within minutes.

Waking up hours later she turned her phone back on and was desperate to talk to Emily, she just needed to hear her voice.

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Emily had just turned out the light in the small, single bed hotel room when her phone started ringing. She bolted up from the bed and answered without even looking at who was calling.

"Jennifer?"

"Yeah it's me"

"Are you okay?" Emily asked worried.

"No, not really..."

Emily felt a sting in her heart when she heard the blonde say that.

"Nate knows... he knows everything and he kicked me out..." Jennifer said.

"He what? Where are you?" Emily asked already on her way out of bed.

"I'm at a small bed and breakfast a couple of miles outside of town. I didn't know what to do or where to go... and I couldn't drive all the way back to you so I just ended up here and then I fell asleep. I just woke up."

Emily had her phone trapped between her shoulder and ear as she attempted to put on her clothes at the same time.

"I'm here Jennifer, I'm in Green Bay. I don't know what I was thinking but I couldn't stay at home. I went by your house but I didn't have the courage to knock on the door."

Jennifer sat up quickly when she heard what Emily was saying.

"What? You're... you're here?" Jennifer couldn't quite believe it.

"Yes. Send me the address, I'm already on my way." Emily said as she closed the door to the hotel and hurried to the elevators.

"Okay. I'm... I can't wait to see you..." Jennifer whispered.

"I'm on my way." Emily said and cursed the elevator for taking so long.

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Jennifer couldn't believe that this was happening, was Emily really here? Had she come just for her? She checked the time again. It was twenty minutes since she ended her call with Emily and she should be there any minute now.

A soft knock on the door brought her out of her thoughts and she practically ran to the door and fell into Emily's arms the second the brunette appeared before her. Jennifer held her tight as a new set of tears slowly made their way down her cheeks. She moved Emily into the room without separating herself an inch from the other woman.

Emily wrapped her arms even tighter around the blonde's waist when she heard her silent sobs. She kissed the side of her head then whispered into Jennifer's ear.

"It's okay... I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere."

They just stood there in the middle of the room, holding each other for several minutes and slowly Jennifer's tears stopped falling. She tightened her hold around Emily's neck and buried her face in the crock of the brunette's neck. She couldn't believe Emily was really there, in her arms. She inhaled her scent and was filled with a new wave of emotions. When Emily held her, nothing else really mattered. She didn't think about Nate and the mess she left behind, she didn't think about what her dad would say when he found out about this. She didn't think about anything other than how amazing it felt to be in Emily's arms and how there was no where else she'd ever want to be.

"I love you..." was whispered into soft dark hair.

Maybe it was way too soon to say that but it was the truth. She loved her, Emily Prentiss, who'd shown up in her life and turned it completely upside down. She loved her and she just had to say it.

Emily thought her heart had stopped beating for a second. She felt paralyzed and wondered briefly if she'd actually heard right. She pulled back slightly to meet the blonde's eyes and when she did she knew for sure.

Jennifer's heart was beating so fast.

_Did I freak her out? God I shouldn't have said that...it was way to soon... way to soon... _

Emily closed the distance between them with the most loving and tender kiss and it took the blonde's breath away.

When they parted Emily rested her forehead against Jennifer's who still had her eyes closed. Leaning in again she pressed another tender kiss against the blonde's soft lips then pulled back slightly and looked at her. Jennifer slowly opened her eyes and met warm brown ones.

"I love you too..." fell softly from the brunette's lips and the blonde released a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

A small smile appeared on the blonde's lips and then Emily felt warm hands cup her face and the softest of lips connecting with her own. She parted her lips slightly as she felt Jennifer's tongue graze over her lips and the blonde wasted no time, she slipped her tongue inside Emily's mouth and moaned softly when Emily's tongue collided with hers. It was a slow, sensual kiss. A kiss where both women wanted to reinforce the words they just said to each other.

When they slowly parted Jennifer wrapped Emily up in another hug then moved them slowly over to the bed where she met the brunette's eyes.

"Will you just hold me?..." she asked softly.

Emily nodded and leaned in to kiss her gently before they both crawled up on top of the bed, fully clothed still but neither seem to care. Emily snuggled up closely behind Jennifer's back and put her arm over the blonde's stomach and pulled her closer. Jennifer put her hand on Emily's forearm and traced small invisible patterns on the brunette's skin with the tip of her fingers. The events of the day had left her exhausted and though she'd already been asleep for a couple of hours earlier, the blonde fell asleep within minutes with Emily holding her close.

Emily had no idea what would happen tomorrow or the days to come but none of that really mattered. She had the woman she loved in her arms again and the only thing she did know was that she would never leave her side ever again. She loved her so much and the only thing she wanted to do for the rest of her life was to make her happy. They had a tough journey ahead of them no doubt, but she was certain they would get through it together. For the first time Emily felt like she belonged, that she belonged with Jennifer. She'd never felt that with anyone ever before and though people would tell them that their relationship was wrong, that they hardly knew each other she would never falter. She would never leave, she would never give up on them and she would never ever stop loving her. Emily kissed Jennifer's neck gently and smiled against her skin. She thought back to the moment when Jennifer had taken her heart... It was the same evening when they first kissed, when they were playing around in the water and suddenly everything turned serious. When the laughter stopped and their eyes met while their arms was still around each other, Emily had physically felt Jennifer taking her heart from her and though it scared her senseless and even though she denied it at first, she realized that she would never want it back...


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N**

**Thank you again for all reviews, I really appreciate it! This will probably be the last chapter for a little while, I don't think I'll be able to get a new one up in October, my schedule is pretty swamped for the rest of the month.**

**susannah2000: I haven't been able to reply to your reviews personally cause your PM is disabled but if you switch it on I'll be more than happy to reply to your reviews :)**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 18

The next morning Emily woke up still holding the blonde. She couldn't help but smile and nuzzled her nose against Jennifer's shoulder. A while later Jennifer woke up as well and pulled Emily's arm even tighter around her and brought her hand up to her lips so she could kiss it. Emily smiled and placed a lingering kiss on Jennifer's neck.

"I'm so happy you're here..." Jennifer said softly.

"I was going crazy... I think I've made a trail on my living room floor with my pacing." Emily chuckled.

"I couldn't stay at home... I wasn't really thinking but I just wanted to be with you..." she continued gently.

Jennifer turned in her arms and gazed lovingly into Emily's eyes.

"I'm so glad you came... I still can't believe you're really here..." she said tenderly and stroked Emily's cheek.

"There's no where else I'd rather be..." Emily said sincerely.

Jennifer closed the gap between them and kissed her softly. Emily entangled her fingers in Jennifer's soft blonde hair and deepened the kiss. Jennifer moaned into Emily's mouth when their tongues met and started to move slowly together. Emily's hand left Jennifer's hair and made it's way down the blonde's body till it found soft warm skin. Jennifer moved so she came to lie on top of the brunette who let her free hand join the other and started to pull the blonde's sweater up and over her head.

Jennifer pulled them both up into a sitting position and quickly removed Emily's shirt as well before crashing their lips together again. The blonde gasped in anticipation when she felt Emily unclasp her bra and seconds later Emily's hands found her breasts and Jennifer moaned loudly into the other woman's mouth.

"God Emily..." she gasped as Emily's mouth left her own and started to lick and kiss along her jawline down to her neck.

Jennifer fumbled with the clasp on Emily's bra, desperately wanting to touch her. As soon as the clasp opened Jennifer quickly removed the interfering item and let her hands find soft warm flesh. Emily gasped when Jennifer's hands started to explore and she pushed the other woman down on the bed before repositioning herself so she was on top of the blonde wasting no time in connecting their lips again. Jennifer felt a flood of wetness between her legs as her breast collided with Emily's, it was incredibly sexy and she was marvelled by how incredibly turned on she'd become by it.

One of Emily's legs found it's way in between Jennifer's and she pushed her thigh up against the blonde's core. Jennifer broke the kiss and panted violently when Emily continued to push against her and at the same time her hand was teasing her breast. They were definitely wearing too much clothes, she needed the brunette closer...

Her hands moved down to the hem of Emily's jeans and she started working with the button which was extremely hard in the position she was in and with Emily thrusting against her. Emily slowed down and slided off the blonde in order to remove their last pieces of clothing. Jennifer assisted eagerly and as soon as both their pants were off along with their underwear Jennifer pulled the other woman on top of her again and kissed her deeply.

Her hands were moving all over Emily's body and Emily nudged Jennifer's legs apart and slipped her own thigh in between, just like she had earlier but now there wasn't anything in the way. Jennifer moaned when Emily's bare thigh pressed against her center and she started to grind her hips to met Emily's movement, desperate for more pressure.

Emily's tongue swirled around with Jennifer's in a very heated kiss while their grinding against each other increased. Emily's thigh was wet from rubbing against Jennifer's center and she felt a pounding between her own legs. Never breaking the kiss she changed their positions slightly so she was straddling Jennifer's left thigh and gasped when she finally gained some pressure against her acing center. Needing more she broke the kiss and altered their positions again. She pulled Jennifer's right leg over her own left and moved even closer until her center collided with Jennifer's sending a jolt of pleasure through both women. Jennifer threw her head back against the pillow and closed her eyes as her hips started to move frantically, grinding her center hard against Emily's who me her every thrust.

Both women were panting violently as their wet centers continued to grind against each other and when Emily picked up the pace Jennifer couldn't hold back anymore and cried out in pleasure as a very intense orgasm washed over her. Seconds later Emily fell over the edge as well and collapsed on top of the blonde who was still panting hard.

Jennifer entangled her fingers in Emily's hair and kissed the top of her head. Emily had her head on Jennifer's chest and could hear her rapid heartbeat that slowly was settling down. After a moment Emily lifted her head and met Jennifer's eyes. She gazed into those beautiful blue orbs lovingly.

"I love you..." she said softly and kissed her tenderly.

Jennifer smiled against Emily's lips and wrapped her arms around her.

"I love you too..." she whispered as they parted and she found Emily's eyes again.

"God I love you..." she sighed.

Emily smiled and kissed her again.

"I've never felt this way before..." Jennifer said softly and gazed into Emily's eyes.

"Neither have I..." Emily said tenderly.

"I just wanna go away, with you... Somewhere far away where I don't have to think of the mess that's about to happen, the mess that's already happened and it's about to become worse..." Jennifer said.

"Running away isn't going to make anything easier, though I would really like that too. But we have to face the world at some point and it might as well be best to just get it over with. Like you said, it's already a mess and it's about to become messier." Emily said.

Jennifer nodded. Emily was right, she knew that but still, she just wanted to get away from everything and never look back.

"I don't know how I'm gonna do this Emily... I'm so scared..." Jennifer said with a trembling voice.

"I know and I understand that... But I'm here okay? I'm not going anywhere. You're not alone in this. It's gonna be hard and tough but I'm gonna be by your side every step of the way." Emily said and looked deep into Jennifer's eyes.

"But where am I gonna go? He kicked me out Emily and though it's my house too I can't go back there, I can't live there with him..."

"Stay with me then." It was out so fast she hadn't even reflected over what she just said.

"I-I mean, just till everything sorts out. I-I'm not asking you to move in with me or anything cause that would be way too soon and I have a spare bedroom too i-if you'd feel more comfor-" she was interrupted by a hand over her mouth.

"God you're cute when you ramble." Jennifer said and smiled.

"Sorry..." Emily looked down and blushed slightly.

"Do you mean it?..." Jennifer asked a little more serious.

"What? About you staying with me? Of course I mean it..." Emily said sincerely and met Jennifer's eyes again.

Jennifer just looked at her.

"You're amazing you know that?..." she whispered.

Emily smiled and leaned forward and kissed her gently.

"So will you stay with me?" Emily mumbled against her lips.

"Yes... I'll stay with you..." Jennifer mumbled back before she deepened the kiss.

Emily parted her lips slightly and Jennifer used that opportunity to slip her tongue inside Emily's mouth. God how she loved kissing her. Emily's tongue moved slowly against her own and she tilted her head so she could kiss the brunette even deeper. Emily was an amazing kisser and no one had ever kissed her they way Emily kissed her. She smiled against the brunette's lips and as they parted she had a goofy grin on her face.

"What?" Emily asked and smiled.

"Nothing. Just... God... I love kissing you." the blonde said and smiled widely.

Emily laughed.

"You're crazy. But I love kissing you too." Emily chuckled and kissed her again to prove her point.

Emily pulled back and looked at the blonde. God she was so beautiful and Emily couldn't quite believe that this was actually happening.

"I'm so happy right now..." she said softly.

Jennifer smiled and kissed her gently again.

"Me too." Jennifer said as she met Emily's eyes again.

They just looked at each other for a moment.

"What do you say about getting out of here?" Emily asked.

"Sounds good to me." Jennifer said and smiled.

They showered quickly, got dressed and started the long drive back to Emily's place. Jennifer had considered going back to her house to collect some more clothes but she still had her bag in the trunk so she decided to skip it, plus she really didn't want to meet Nathan. It was too soon.

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A couple of hours later they were snuggled up close together on Emily's couch in a comfortable silence. Jennifer felt completely relaxed in the other woman's arms and Emily still couldn't quite believe that all this was happening. She stroked Jennifer's upper arm tenderly while the blonde was playing with the fingers of her free hand.

"I could stay like this forever..." Jennifer said softly.

Emily smiled and kissed the top of her head then mumbled into her hair.

"Me too."

There was another moment of silence and Jennifer was deep in thoughts. She had a lot of things on her mind. Things she had to vent.

"I'm scared about how dad will react when he finds out about this..." she admitted.

"I know..." Emily replied not really knowing what else to say.

"He adores Nathan you know... He's always been treating him like a son. Since my brother is not around that much he's doing stuff with Nathan that he can't do with my brother. Like the fishing trip, Nate didn't even like fishing when we first started dating." Jennifer said.

"This will kill him Emily..." Jennifer said with a lump in her throat.

"Hey..." Emily said and tilted the blonde's chin up so she could look at her.

"You haven't done anything wrong... You shouldn't feel guilty for any of this, it's not like we planned this..." Emily said softly and looked deep into her eyes.

"I know but still... and don't think I regret choosing you cause if there's one thing I'm absolutely certain of it's my feelings for you Emily..." Jennifer said sincerely.

Emily nodded slowly and continued to listen to the blonde.

"You have to understand that my life will be a complete chaos for a long time, dad will most likely freak and all my friends..." Jennifer trailed off. _God what about all my friends?..._ Suddenly she realized the effect her choice would have on all the people in her life and a slight panic started to rise within her.

Emily noticed the changed expression on Jennifer's face and though she really believed the blonde when she said she didn't regret choosing her, she couldn't help but feel a slight ache in her heart. An ache that only increased when the blonde pulled away from her and got up from the couch and left the living room without a word...


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N**

**I'm so sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter up and ****I feel like it turned into a 'filler' chapter or something but I hope you'll like it anyway :)**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 19

Jennifer closed the bathroom door behind her and walked over to the sink where she splashed her face with cold water. Turning the tap off she leaned on her arms against the sink and looked up to met her own reflection. Water was trickling down her face and she lifted on hand to wipe some of it off. She took a deep breath as thousands of thoughts were running through her head. Knowing her life would be a complete mess once this thing came out made her more scared than she'd ever been. How would her friends react when they found out about this? That she was leaving her fiance, the man she'd spent seven years of her life with for a woman she'd just met? Listening to her own thoughts she heard how completely crazy it all sounded and she knew without a doubt her friends would think she'd lost her mind. Staring at her own reflection she noticed that tears had started to escape her eyes.

"What am I gonna do?..." she whispered to her reflection.

She thought about yesterday, about having to confront Nate and about how that made her feel. She felt absolutely crushed that she'd hurt him so much but as her thoughts wandered towards Emily she instantly was filled with a sense of warmth and without realizing it her lips turned upwards into a small smile. No matter how terrified she felt about everything, what she felt for Emily was so strong and though a very small part of her wanted to walk away from the situation just cause that would be the easiest way, there was no way she could do that. She reached for a towel and dried her face. Looking up at her reflection again she decided that she wouldn't let this fear of what everybody else would say and think, ruin a chance of something absolutely wonderful.

Sure, she could go back to the living room, break Emily's heart and her own too for that matter, and go home to Nathan and beg for forgiveness. Tell him how she temporarily lost her mind and that she realized what a big mistake she was making, throwing away seven years for something that was doomed not to last. Cause that's what everybody would think right? That her and Emily could never last, they hardly knew each other and so on and so on. Ending this with Emily and return to Nathan to try and work things out would be what everybody would expect her to do and technically she could do it. She could go back to the man she used to love and marry him, have a family and _everybody _would be happy. No... not everybody, she wouldn't really be happy, she would be settling.

She shook her head at her own thoughts, if something sounded crazy, this did. She was 32 years old and had spent the past seven years in a relationship with a wonderful man who really was everything anyone would want in a man. But then, like a flash of lightening she found a person who made her the happiest she's ever been in all her life. Someone who makes her heart pound so violently in her chest just by looking at her. Someone who make the concept of butterflies in your stomach get a whole new meaning.

Life's too short to just settle for something that everybody else think is right. This was her now and she was going to live in the moment. She was going to do what made _her _happy, not what her surroundings assumed would make her happy and what made her happy, was Emily.

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Emily had remained seated torn between going after the blonde or to give her some space. She decided on the later though she had an ache in her heart still. It just wouldn't go away... She believed Jennifer when she'd told her that she wanted to be with her but there was still a part of her that feared that the other woman would realize what she was giving up just to be with her and that Jennifer would decide that in the end it wasn't worth it. That thought killed Emily but she tried to not let it get to her, there was no use picturing the worst case scenario was there? What good would that do?

"I'm sorry..."

Emily turned around when she heard the soft whisper. Jennifer stood by the doorway looking at her and she could see that she'd been crying.

Emily got up from the couch and slowly walked over to the blonde. When she was within reach Jennifer reached for her and wrapped her arms around the brunette's neck and pulled her close. Emily wrapped her arms around Jennifer's waist and held her tight.

"I'm sorry Emily..." she said again.

"I... I freaked and I'm sorry for walking away like that..." she continued.

"Are... are you having second thoughts about this? About us?..." Emily asked tentatively.

Jennifer pulled back slowly and met Emily's eyes. She could see uncertainty in those beautiful brown eyes and she knew she was the reason for that uncertainty.

"For a split second yes, I think I was..." she started and she could see the look of utter fear in Emily's eyes.

"But then I started to think... really think about everything and about what everybody expects of me and I realized that though I'm scared, and I'm _really _scared Emily, I wont let that fear decide how I'm going to live my life and whom I'm going to spend it with. I wont. Life's too short for that... Emily?..." she cupped the other woman's face and gazed into her eyes.

"I want this... I want you, I want us... All that matters is how I feel about you and my feelings are so strong Emily..." she slowly closed the gap between them and kissed her tenderly.

Emily entangled her fingers in Jennifer's hair and kissed her back. When they parted Jennifer rested her forehead against Emily's and Emily gently dragged her fingers though blonde hair.

"I believe you... I believed you before too but I just... I guess I just got a bit scared. I love you Jennifer, and I wanna be with you more than anything else in this world."

Emily pulled back and met beautiful blue eyes.

"You have my heart you know?... You have it a-and I don't want it back..." she said softly.

"Just... just don't break it..." she whispered.

Jennifer felt her heart fill with love for this woman in front of her. She was so head over heals in love and to hear Emily say things like that just made her fall even deeper.

"I wont..." she promised and then kissed her gently again before she pulled the other woman in for another hug.

"I love you too Emily..." she whispered into her ear.

They stood like that for a while, just holding each other.

When they went to bed that night Jennifer crawled up behind Emily and wrapped her arm around her and placed soft kisses on her back and shoulders till the brunette fell asleep.

Lying there beside her, listening to her even breathing there was nowhere else she would ever want to be. She pulled Emily a little closer and nuzzled her nose against Emily's warm back and placed a lingering kiss there before she closed her eyes and let sleep claim her too.

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The next couple of days they spent in Chicago, Jennifer had debated whether or not to go back to Green Bay to get some more stuff but she really could deal with seeing Nathan so she decided to deal with that later. She had a bag of clothes and she'd bought some new items too.

Other than the storm cloud constantly hanging over her head things were good. Being with Emily made her so happy and when they were together it was like nothing else in the world mattered.

Of course Jennifer knew she was postponing the inevitable but she had no idea how to even begin having that conversation with her father... She wanted to postpone it as much as she possibly could but she knew she should deal with it sooner rather than later. Also, Emily was going back to work next week and Jennifer had another week left before she had to return to work which she dreaded cause work was in Green Bay. She couldn't stay with Emily any longer once she had to go back to work and she had no idea how she was going to fix the living situation back home. Staying at her and Nathan's house was out of the question that much she knew.

"What are you thinking about?" Emily asked softly as she wrapped her arms around Jennifer's waist and hugged her from behind.

Jennifer was standing by the living room window looking out over the city while she was deep in thoughts. She instantly relaxed in Emily's arms and put her hands on the other woman's forearms and stroked her skin.

"I was just thinking about how I have to return home soon... and I really don't want that..." she answered.

"I know... I wish you could stay here but I know you can't..." Emily said.

"Yeah. I'm just thinking about a lot of practical things you know, like where I'm gonna live and I have to talk to Nathan about the house but I sooo don't want to." Jennifer admitted.

"I wish there was something I could do." Emily said and kissed her cheek.

"You're already doing so much Emily." Jennifer said and turned around in Emily's arms.

She met her eyes and just looked into those beautiful brown eyes for a moment. She leaned forward and captured the brunette's lips with her own and kissed her softly. She slowly pulled back and met Emily's eyes again.

"They're still at the cabin right?" Jennifer asked referring to her father and Elizabeth.

"Yes, mom said they would stay for at least another week. Are you thinking about going up there to talk to Jack? Cause if you do I want to be there." Emily said.

"I am thinking about that and I really want you there, I do, but I have to do this alone. I know how he's going to react and I don't want to put you through that." Jennifer said.

"I don't like the thought of you having to do this alone Jennifer..." Emily said sincerely.

"At least let me follow you to Minocqua, I can't stay here while you're about to do one of the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. I can't..." Emily pleaded.

"Okay." Jennifer said and kissed her again.

"I'm gonna call dad."

Emily nodded and gave the blonde another kiss before she let her go.

Jennifer went to get her phone from the kitchen and then returned to the living room with the device close to her ear. Her heart was beating so fast and she was so nervous she thought she would start to cry the second she heard her fathers voice on the other side of the line.

"Dad? Hi it's me." she said, trying to keep a steady voice.

"Jennifer, hello sweetheart. Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, yes. Everything is fine. Dad?... I... I need to talk to you about something so I was thinking about coming up to the cabin tomorrow." she said trying so hard to keep it together.

"Okay? Is something the matter? Has something happened? Are you alright?" her dad asked with a slightly worried tone.

"I'm fine dad, I just... I just have to tell you something and I don't want to do it over the phone. Don't worry, okay?" she said.

"Okay. Is Nathan coming with you?" Jack asked and Jennifer felt a pang of guilt and was very close to losing it.

"Uhm, no... It's just me. Listen, I'll tell you everything tomorrow. I have to go now." she said, desperately wanting to end the call.

"Okay. Well, see you tomorrow then sweetheart." Jack said.

"Dad?..."

"Yes?"

"I love you..."

"I love you to Jennifer." Jack said back slightly confused.

She usually never said that to him over the phone, well very rarely all together so something was definitely up with his girl that much he was sure of.

"Bye, see you tomorrow." Jennifer said and ended the call.

Emily had listened to the entire conversation and made her way over to the couch where Jennifer was seated, once she finished the call.

"You okay?" she asked tentatively.

"No... but there's no going back now...Tomorrow I'm telling my father that I'm leaving my fiance ... because I've fallen in love with you..." she said and tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

She looked at Emily and felt tears starting to fill up her eyes. She wrapped her arms around Emily and buried her face in the crock of the brunette's neck. Emily kissed her hair and held her tight.

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Jack walked into the kitchen where Elizabeth was preparing dinner.

"Jennifer's coming up here tomorrow, she wanted to talk to me about something." Jack said.

Elizabeth instantly felt guilty for lying to her fiance but there was nothing else she could do.

"That's nice. It will be good to see her again." Elizabeth said.

"Yes, but something is up though. She didn't sound like her old self but she told me not to worry so I'm sure it's nothing bad." Jack said and Elizabeth only prayed that Jack would handle the news well but she had a feeling he wouldn't.

Jack stood beside her deep in thoughts for a moment before he suddenly proclaimed.

"What if she's pregnant Elizabeth? What if that's what she's coming to tell me? Could it really be such great news?" Jack said kinda ecstatic and Elizabeth felt an ever bigger pang of guilt hit her.

Jack chuckled and pulled his fiancee in for a hug.

"What if I'm going to be a grandfather Elizabeth?" he said joyfully.

Elizabeth hugged him back hoping against all hope that the news Jack was about to receive wouldn't destroy the relationship she had with him but she was really afraid it could come to that once he found out that she's known what's been going on the whole time.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N**

**Thank you so much for all reviews on the last chapter, I'm glad so many liked it though I still feel that it was kind of a filler. Now though, it's time for the 'talk'...**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 20

They left early next morning and Jennifer insisted that they would drive up to the cabin together, she couldn't bear to drive her own car and have Emily in another. She needed the other woman beside her and she was clutching the brunette's hand tightly as Emily drove.

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When they reached Minocqua Jennifer was really nervous. Emily parked the car outside a cafe, turned off the engine and turned to the blonde who was still holding on to her hand tightly.

"You okay?" she asked tentatively.

"Not really... but... there's no turning back now..." Jennifer said and met Emily's eyes.

"I really wish you would let me come with you to the cabin..."

"Emily..." Jennifer pleaded.

"I know I know... it's probably not the best idea but I wanna be there for you..." Emily said and brought one hand up to cup the blonde's cheek.

"At least you're here, you're not four hours away. Just knowing that gives me strength to actually do this." Jennifer said and looked deep into Emily's eyes.

"Just... just promise that you'll call me if you need me. I'll make it there somehow, but promise me you'll call me." Emily said seriously.

Jennifer just looked at her and saw nothing but love reflected in Emily's brown eyes. She slowly leaned forward and kissed her tenderly.

"I promise." she whispered against Emily's lips before she kissed her again.

"Okay... Thank you." Emily said as she pulled back and met Jennifer's eyes again.

"What do you say about getting something to eat before you continue?" Emily suggested and played with Jennifer's fingers.

"I don't think I can eat to be honest but maybe I'll just have some coffee." the blonde replied.

Emily kissed her softly before she unfasten both of their seat belts and stepped out of the car.

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After a very drawn-out coffee break and an even more drawn-out goodbye, Jennifer left Emily behind and started to drive the last few miles to Elizabeth's cabin.

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When she stepped out of her car memories of what happened last time she was at the cabin washed over her. As she walked toward the cabin she glanced at the boat house and remembered the night she spent there with Emily. Thinking about it and everything else that had happened after that she just felt happy. She felt even more certain that she'd made the right decision, as if it was a decision in the first place. Emily had stolen her heart so completely and Jennifer had been hers since that first day. Those feelings gave her more courage to face her dad and actually tell him about how her life had taken a completely different and unexpected turn but how she would never ever want to change it back to how it was before.

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Elizabeth came out of the cabin with a laundry basket and instantly spotted the very nervous looking blonde walking slowly towards the cabin. She put the basket down on the porch and walked down to greet the young woman.

"Jennifer. Hi sweetheart." Elizabeth said as she embraced the blonde.

"Hi Elizabeth. So good to see you." Jennifer replied and hugged the older woman back.

"How are you?" Elizabeth asked.

"Uhm... Honestly, not so good...I'm terrified really..." Jennifer answered honestly.

Elizabeth rubbed Jennifer's upper arms encouraging.

"No matter what happens I'll always be here okay? You can always come to me." Elizabeth said sincerely.

She didn't really trust her voice to reply to that, she was so incredibly moved by this woman's warmth and by how much she really cared. She just nodded and bit her lower lip, feeling slightly overwhelmed but also nervous beyond words.

"Thank you Elizabeth." She managed to say and gave the older woman a small smile.

Before Elizabeth could say anything else Jack suddenly stepped out of the cabin carrying a bunch of fishing equipment which he instantly put down when he noticed that his daughter had arrived.

With a big smile on his face he joined his soon to be wife on the lawn and gave his daughter a big hug.

"It's so good to see you Jennifer." he said still smiling as he pulled back and wrapped his arm around Elizabeth's shoulder.

"It's good to see you too dad." Jennifer replied feeling like she was about to have a minor panic attack at any second.

Elizabeth noticed the change in Jennifer's appearance the moment Jack joined them and seeing how terrified the younger woman looked, she deiced to return her attention to the laundry.

"I'm gonna let you two talk alone, I have some laundry that wont hang itself." she said and smiled before she excused herself and returned to the cabin to get the laundry basket.

Jennifer watched her leave and all she wanted was to ask her to stay, she wanted her support but at the same time she knew she had to do this alone. She swallowed hard and met her father's eyes.

"Shall we go down to the lake?" Jack suggested.

"Yeah..." Jennifer replied.

Jack put his arm around Jennifer's shoulder and smiled as they walked down to the lake oblivious of how his daughter was struggling to keep it together.

"So, what did you have to tell me?" Jack asked as they reached the lake and walked out on the pier to take a seat at one of the two small benches that were placed there facing the water.

"I... uhm... I don't really know how to start..." Jennifer started.

"It's just me Jennifer, you know you can tell me anything." Jack said encouraging.

Jennifer looked down at her hands trying to find an appropriate way to start this conversation but realized rather quickly that there really is no appropriate way to tell your father you've fallen in love with a woman.

Just thinking about how to even formulate words that would make any sense made her nervousness escalate even more, how that even was possible.

Jack noticed that his daughter didn't really look and act like herself, she seemed very nervous and he started to think that maybe the news he was hoping for wasn't the kind of news he would get. Something felt a little 'off' but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was.

"Dad... I... I'm... I... I don't know how to tell you this..." she said with a big lump in her throat.

Jack looked at his daughter and met her eyes. He noticed the expression on his daughter's face and how she looked kind of terrified. Whatever 'news' she was going to tell him wouldn't be the good kind of news that much was perfectly clear now.

"What has happened Jennifer?" he asked a little worried.

Jennifer looked up and met her fathers concerning eyes. God how would she ever be able to tell him this? Tears slowly started to escape her eyes which Jack noticed.

"Honey... What's wrong? You're scaring me here." Jack admitted and took his daughter's hand.

"Uhm... You're going to hate me..." she said and then she couldn't hold back the tears anymore and she started to cry.

Jack was beyond confused. Why was she crying? He didn't understand.

"Hate you? How could you ever think I could hate you? You're my daughter, I love you no matter what." Jack said and Jennifer chuckled to herself through her tears.

"I'm... I'm leaving Nathan..." she started not knowing how she would have the confident to tell him the rest.

"What?" Jack said not quite sure he heard right.

Tears wear running down Jennifer's cheeks as she watched the look of utter surprise on her fathers face.

"You're _leaving _Nathan? What? How... I-I mean what on earth happened?" Jack asked clearly confused.

"I... God... I just...I...uhm..." Jennifer couldn't make one coherent sentence.

"I... I fell in love with someone else..." Jennifer cried and thought her heart would jump out of her chest cause it was pounding so hard, she was so nervous.

"You what? How on earth did that happen? And when? Jennifer I'm... Have you really thought this thing through? You were about to get married, I thought you were happy. I don't understand... You're in love with someone else?" Jack said not quite believing what he was hearing.

Jennifer looked down at her hands and just nodded slowly. She slowly looked up and met her father's puzzled eyes again.

"I... I am... and I have thought this through... I thought I was happy, I really did but now I realize that I haven't been truly happy for a long time. Nathan is an amazing guy and I hate myself for doing this to him but I can't pretend to be someone I'm not. I can't stay with him just because that's what everybody else expects me to do... I can't do that dad... It's not fair to him and it's not fair to me... He's not who I want to spend my life with..." Jennifer explained while she wiped her cheeks from the never ending trail of tears.

Jack was shocked to say the least, he loved Nathan. He was like a second son to him and to hear that Jennifer was leaving him because she was in love with someone else was not an easy thing to take in.

"So... so this new guy you're suddenly in love with? _He's_ who you want to spend your life with?" Jack asked utterly confused by this 'news'.

Jennifer just looked at her father. _This is it... _but before she could open her mouth Jack continued.

"I'm sorry sweetheart I'm just having a hard time taking all this in. It came as a complete shock. I thought you and Nathan were really happy... Who's this new guy? Where did you meet him?" Jack asked.

_God how do I tell him this?..._

"I understand that this comes as a shock to you and I know how much you care about Nathan and I'm sorry... I really am...I... I just have to do what makes me happy and Nathan... Nathan is not what makes me happy anymore...and you have to know that I didn't plan this okay? I didn't plan to fall head over heals in love with someone else but I have... I have dad, and nothing has ever felt so right in my life..." Jennifer said.

"All I ever want is for you to be happy Jennifer." Jack said sincerely.

"I am dad... I am so happy but... but there's one more thing I have to tell you and before I do just know that I love you dad and that I never ever want to let you down or make you disappointed...Just please please try not to hate me..." Jennifer pleaded as her voice broke.

Jack had no idea what was going on with his daughter and why she was talking like this.

_Okay... here we go..._

"There's no new guy dad..." she started.

"What? There's not? But you just said... I don't unders-" Jennifer interrupted him.

"Please I have to say this without you interrupting me...Please... It's hard enough as it is, just... just let me say this and then... well...Just listen to me okay?

Jack just nodded as he watched his daughter struggle with what ever it was she was about to tell him.

"There's no new guy... I have left Nathan because I am in love with someone else but... but that someone else is... is...God..." she had to take a breath before she could continue.

"That someone else is a... is a woman..."

There, she said it. She told her father and now she would just wait for hell to break loose...

Jack wasn't sure he'd actually heard correct but judging by the look on his daughter's face and the tears streaming down her cheeks, he realized that what he just heard was in fact correct.

Saying that he was shocked was the understatement of the year. He couldn't even come up with anything to reply to that.

"I know I'm letting you down... I know that and I'm not asking you to just accept this but I had to tell you the truth and now I have... I don't know where this came from but I've never felt so strongly for anyone else ever before..." she said crying.

"I... I don't know what to say..." Jack said with a distant look on his face.

Jennifer could see that so many thoughts were going through his head right now.

"Who... who is she?..." he asked after a couple of minutes silence.

Jennifer looked up and met her father's questioning eyes and though he hadn't really said anything to her, she could see that he was disappointed and that made her hesitate to tell him the rest but she had to do it.

"Well?" Jack asked while his mind was working in overdrive trying to make sense out of something.

"Uhm... it's..." she started, for a second feeling a little hesitant about actually telling her father that it was Emily. She could lie and say it was just someone he doesn't know but the truth would come out sooner rather than later and no matter how much she feared his reaction she had to tell him this last but maybe most important, part.

"It's... it's Emily..."

Jack's eyes widened as he heard the name of Jennifer's new love interest.

"Emily? As in Elizabeth's daughter?" he all but shouted.

Jennifer only nodded.

"Have you lost your mind completely? You're leaving Nathan, your fiance, for Emily? Whom you've know for what? A week maybe? Are you crazy?" he said getting more and more upset.

"I'm in love with her dad..." she said quietly desperately trying to not completely break down in front of her father.

Jack just snorted and shook his head in disbelief.

"Jennifer this is insane you realize that right? How can you stand here and tell me you're in love with Elizabeth's daughter? Don't you hear how completely absurd it sounds?" Jack spat out.

Jennifer was crying hard now and though she knew that this was coming she'd really hoped he would have reacted differently.

"You don't have to tell me that it sounds absurd, I'm very much aware of that and yes, it probably is completely fucking crazy but that doesn't change the way I feel about her. I love her. I want to be with her and I can very much picture myself spending the rest of my life with her and I get that you'll never accept that but this is how I feel dad. This is my feelings and they're not gonna change. I'm sorry I'm letting you down but I had to tell you this... I just hope... I just hope that one day you wont hate me as much as you do now..."


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N**

**Thank you so much for all reviews! Really, you guys blow me a way with all your kind words :) **

**So I'm in the middle of writing a home examination but I have like zero motivation right now so I decided to post this next chapter instead. I finished it the other day when I also was supposed to write on my examination but I thought I would just start with this next chapter and continue with the exam later but as I started writing this I couldn't stop so suddenly the next chapter was written :) **

**I hope you like it :)**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 21

"_.. .I just hope... I just hope that one day you wont hate me as much as you do now..._"

She didn't even wait for her father to reply to that, she didn't want to hear it. She got up from the bench and walked away.

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Elizabeth had watched the interaction between her fiancee and his daughter from a far while she was hanging up the laundry and she had a feeling that Jack would not take the news Jennifer would tell him particularity good. Not that he had ever said anything disrespectful about Emily being gay but finding out that his daughter was in love with another woman and not just _any_ woman, his soon to be wife's daughter... that would come as a shock to anybody.

Looking up towards the pier again she noticed that Jennifer was walking away from Jack in quite a hurry and that she looked rather upset.

She dropped the piece of clothing she held in her hand and hurried after the young blonde.

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Jennifer never looked back, she just wanted to get away from it all and she really needed Emily.

When she reached her car and was about to open the door the sound of someone calling her name stopped her.

"Jennifer wait, please!" Elizabeth called out.

Jennifer watched Elizabeth approach her and she wiped her eyes, not that it would hide that fact that she'd been crying for most of the conversation with her father.

Elizabeth reached the other woman and instantly saw her swollen eyes and realized that telling Jack hadn't gone so well.

"What did he say?" Elizabeth asked.

"That it was insane... that I couldn't possibly be in love with Emily cause I've just met her... Basically he told me I was throwing my life away, meaning I should marry Nathan cause that is the right thing to do, in his world... He'll never come to terms with this Elizabeth... He'll never accept this..." Jennifer said as she started to cry again.

Elizabeth pulled her into her arms and held her tight.

"I'm gonna talk to him sweetie. It's all going to be alright." Elizabeth said reassuringly.

Jennifer pulled away and met Elizabeth's eyes.

"I'm not so sure it will Elizabeth..." she said and wiped her eyes again.

"Is there anything I can do?" she asked.

"No... I just need Emily right now..." Jennifer said and got into her car and took off leaving a cloud of dust behind her.

Elizabeth just stood and watched her leave.

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Jennifer didn't even know how she managed to drive back into town but somehow she did and when she'd parked her car by the Brandy lake park she texted Emily that she had returned. She didn't trust her voice to even try and call her.

Emily was walking by the water deep in thoughts when her phone beeped. As she read the message she hurried back to the parking lot where they'd decided to met up.

Jennifer was trying so hard to keep it together as she sat in her car and waited for Emily but as soon as she spotted the brunette coming towards her she completely broke down and got out of the car to fall into Emily's arms.

The brunette held the crying woman tight in her arms and they just stood there besides Jennifer's car and held each other until the blonde woman slowly started to calm down a little.

When Emily felt how the blonde's body slowly started to relax she pulled back and met her eyes. It killed her to see so much pain in those beautiful blue eyes and she would've done anything to take the pain away.

"I love you Emily... I love you so much... Tell me I'm not crazy for loving you?..." Jennifer said with a shaky voice.

"You are not crazy for loving me Jennifer... of course you're not crazy. These are _your_ feelings, yours. No one else can ever tell you what you should or shouldn't feel." Emily said softly, hoping her words could offer the blonde some sort of comfort.

Emily cupped Jennifer's cheeks and looked deep into her eyes hoping her love for the blonde woman would be reflected in her eyes.

"I love you..." she whispered before she slowly closed the gap between them and gave the blonde a tender kiss.

Emily pulled back and met the blonde's eyes again.

"Everything is going to be okay... We're going to get through this together okay? You are not alone in this, I am right here with you and I will never ever leave your side. I love you so much Jennifer... We're going to get through this..." Emily said and for the first time in what felt like an eternity Jennifer smiled and pulled the other woman closer again.

"I don't know what I'd do without you... I need you... I need you so much and I need you to be strong for me now..." Jennifer said and held the brunette even tighter.

"I can do that." Emily said and kissed her hair.

"Come on... let's get out of here." Emily said and guided the blonde over to the passenger seat before she got in on the drivers side.

Before she started the engine she turned and looked at the blonde who looked out the window with a somewhat distant look.

"What are you thinking?" Emily asked softly and reached for Jennifer's hand.

Jennifer turned her head and met Emily's eyes and smiled weakly.

"Just that despite everything, despite the fact that dad probably hates me now I feel... I don't know... _relieved_ that it's all out there, I feel relieved that dad knows everything now and no matter how he feels about it, he knows the truth..." Jennifer answered and the brunette smiled lovingly.

"That's good. That's a good thing that you're feeling that way, it only proves that you made the right decision telling him." Emily said.

"Yeah, I guess you're right..." Jennifer said.

"I'm always right." Emily said cocky and winked which made the brunette shove her playfully in the arm.

"Yeah yeah, just shut up and start the car." Jennifer said and chuckled.

Emily laughed, glad that she'd managed to make the blonde smile again.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Back at the cabin after Jennifer had left, Elizabeth had made her way over to the pier where her fiancee was still sitting, looking deep in thought. She slowly approached him and sat down next to him on the bench.

She didn't know what to say, how to start this conversation and truthfully she was terrified of what would happen once he realized that she'd known about this from the start.

"Did you know about this Elizabeth?" he asked and brought Elizabeth back from her thoughts.

She turned to the left and met her fiancees blue eyes. Looking at the man she loved so dearly she knew she couldn't lie to him. She had to tell him the truth and hope that he would understand why she didn't say anything to him.

"Yes..." she answered truthfully.

Jack just looked at his fiance and nodded slowly as she told him what he'd expected her to tell him. That she already knew about his daughter and Emily's affair. Cause that's what it was right? An affair. It couldn't be love, they hardly even knew each other.

Elizabeth held her breath as she waited for her fiancee to say something.

When Jennifer walked away Jack had thought about everything his daughter had told him and rather quickly realized that Elizabeth probably already knew about it. He knew how close her and Emily was and there was no way Elizabeth wouldn't know about this. He was hurt though, hurt that she hadn't told him.

"I figured you might know..." he said.

"Jack, I couldn't tell you. It wasn't my place, Jennifer had to be the one to tell you this." Elizabeth said hoping he would understand.

"We're getting married soon, we're not supposed to keep secrets from each other." Jack said clearly hurt.

"I know that but you have to understand that this was a special situation. How could I tell you that your daughter has fallen in love with my daughter? You have to understand Jack that it wasn't my place to te-"

"Jennifer is not in love with Emily!" Jack interrupted and Elizabeth's heart broke a little.

"She is Jack..." she said softly.

"Don't you hear how completely absurd it sounds? She can't be in love with Emily and it's not cause she's a woman it's because they've only just met for Christ sake! Jennifer and Nathan have been together for seven years Elizabeth, seven years! She can't just throw that away..." Jack said.

"I know that they've just met but sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. Do you realize how much courage it took for Jennifer to come here and tell you this? Her whole world has been turned completely upside down and everything is a complete mess for her right now but still she came here to tell you the truth and that has to tell you something? Do you really think she would come here and open up to you so completely if she wasn't 100% sure of this? Sure of what it is she's feeling?" Elizabeth asked and Jack had to take a moment to try and comprehend what Elizabeth was telling him.

She had a valid point but he just couldn't help but think that Jennifer was making a huge mistake.

"Can you just... can you just give me a moment? I'm not mad at you for keeping this from me, I understand your reasons but I am hurt so could you just give me a moment, please?" Jack asked.

Elizabeth nodded and left Jack alone on the pier.

She felt relieved that he wasn't mad at her but she realized that he would probably feel hurt and be disappointed with her for some time. It did feel like she got her message through though and she really hoped that he would eventually come to accept this, accept his daughter for who she is.

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Emily parked Jennifer's car at the guest parking space and turned the ignition off. She looked over at the sleeping blonde who had fallen asleep just minutes after Emily started their drive back to Chicago. God she was so beautiful... Emily couldn't stop looking at her.

"I can't believe you're mine..." she whispered and lifted her hand to caress soft blonde hair.

She just looked at her and continued to stroke her hair for another minute then she slowly started to wake the sleeping beauty.

"Jennifer..." she said gently and touched the blonde's face.

Jennifer started to stir and turned her head to meet Emily's warm brown eyes which instantly brought a smile to her face.

"Hey... Where are we?" Jennifer asked a little sleepy.

"We're outside my condo." Emily replied and smiled back.

"What? Did I sleep the whole way back?" the blonde asked puzzled.

Emily chuckled and stroked Jennifer's cheek tenderly.

"Yes you did but obviously you needed it." Emily said.

"Obviously." Jennifer said and chuckled.

She stretched and readjusted herself in the seat before she turned to Emily and met her eyes.

"Thank you for coming Emily. I know I said I wanted to go by myself cause I needed to do this alone but... I'm really glad you where there." Jennifer said.

Emily nodded slowly.

"I'm glad you let me come with you, I would not have been able to stay here while you had to go through everything alone." Emily said seriously.

Jennifer just looked at her and couldn't believe how she'd ever been so lucky to meet someone as amazing as the woman in front of her. She leaned forward slowly and Emily met her halfway and captured her lips.

They kissed slowly and tenderly, their lips moved slowly against each other and as Jennifer's tongue gently grazed Emily's upper lip the brunette parted her lips and let the blonde's tongue sneak into her mouth.

The second Jennifer's tongue touched hers Emily felt a jolt through her body and she put her hand behind the blonde's neck to pull her closer as she deepened the kiss.

Their kissing started to become more and more heated and both wanted, needed, to be closer.

"Let's go inside..." Jennifer breathed heavily against Emily's mouth.

Emily nodded and both women hurried inside Emily's apartment building and as soon as the elevator doors closed behind them Jennifer pushed Emily up against the wall and kissed her.

They didn't even notice when the elevator reached Emily's floor and the elevator doors opened. Luckily no one was outside the doors and when they noticed they had reached their floor they stumbled out of the elevator never breaking the kiss. When they reached Emily's door she pressed the blonde up against it while her mouth found Jennifer's neck and she fumbled with the keys to open the door.

Just as she was about to have an outburst at her door for not co-operating with her, she managed to get the thing open and both women stumbled inside.

Emily closed the door behind them and started to work on getting Jennifer's clothes off which the blonde was happy to assist with in between working on removing Emily's clothes too.

Never breaking the kiss Jennifer moved them towards Emily's bedroom leaving trails of clothes behind them. Finally reaching the bed Jennifer pushed the other woman down before she climbed on top of her and crashed their lips together again. Her right hand started to wander down till she reached Emily's underwear that was the last remaining piece of clothing on the brunette. She started to tug Emily's underwear down and as soon as it was off her fingers found warmth and wetness and the brunette gasped into Jennifer's mouth as the blonde slowly entered her. Wanting the blonde to feel what she was feeling she reached down with one hand and found the place that ached to be touched.

Both women were breathing heavily into each others mouths as they continued to thrust slowly against each other. Jennifer was still half on top of the brunette and only stopped kissing her when the need for air became too strong.

With a final thrust Jennifer sent Emily over the edge and as she felt the brunette's walls close around her fingers she too was pushed over the edge and felt her own walls tighten around Emily's fingers that were still moving slowly inside her. It was a feeling she could never even begin to describe and she shivered as Emily slowly extracted her fingers and wrapped both arms around the blonde's body and held her tight against her own body.

"You have no idea how happy you make me..." Jennifer whispered against Emily's ear.

The brunette tighten her hold on the blonde and was filled with even more love for this woman in her arms, how that even was possible. Emily had never experienced anything like this ever before, she couldn't even express in words what she was feeling for this woman, that's how strong it was.

She moved her hands into soft blonde hair and lifted Jennifer's head so she could meet her eyes.

"God I love your eyes..." she said softly as she literally drowned in those deep blue orbs she loved so much.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me Emily..." Jennifer whispered and looked deep into her eyes.

Emily just pulled her face down until Jennifer's lips met hers and kissed her tenderly. When they parted Emily found her eyes again.

"And you're the best thing that's ever happened to _me_..." Emily said emotional.

Jennifer buried her face in the crook of Emily's neck and felt so loved and safe when Emily wrapped her arms around her again.

"I love you..." she whispered against Emily's skin.

"And I love you Jennifer..." Emily whispered back.

Later they fell asleep in each others arms, Jennifer had her head on Emily's chest and her right arm draped loosely across Emily's body while the brunette had her right arm around the blonde and her left hand was holding Jennifer's arm. Maybe it wasn't the most comfortable position in the world but both women had never slept better in their entire lives.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N**

**So sorry it has taken me like forever to update. I'll really try to get the next chapter up faster :) **

**Rating and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 22

It was Sunday afternoon and they were having dinner. Jennifer hadn't talked to her father since she revealed the truth to him three days earlier. Emily had spoken to Elizabeth though and she said that they should lay low and let Jack get his head around everything. Jennifer felt as if the ball was in his court now, she'd told him the truth and the rest was up to him.

Emily was going back to work tomorrow but they'd already decided that Jennifer would stay with Emily for at least another week. The following week Jennifer's vacation was over and she had to return to work. She didn't even want to think about that but knew she was going to have to deal with it sooner rather than later.

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The week passed way too fast for Jennifer's liking, and Emily's too for that matter. Emily had returned to work and Jennifer had been trying to keep busy at Emily's apartment. She'd cleaned and done the laundry and visited the recycling station but when Wednesday came Emily's apartment was beyond clean and it was just ridiculous to clean it again for the sake of keeping herself busy.

The rest of the week she'd done everything and nothing trying to occupy the days with something while Emily was working and before she knew it it was Sunday again and she had to go home...

She was inside Emily's bedroom packing her stuff into her bag. Emily stopped by the doorway and just looked at the blonde for a moment before she walked over to her and wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist from behind. Jennifer was a little startled but instantly relaxed in Emily's arms.

"Are you okay?" Emily said gently.

"Not really, but there's nothing I can do about this situation..." Jennifer said and sighed.

Emily held her tighter and placed a kiss on the side of her head.

"God I wish I could come with you... I hate the thought of you going back there all by yourself." Emily said and placed another tender kiss on Jennifer's head.

Jennifer turned in Emily's arms and put her own arms around Emily's neck and met her eyes.

"I know... and I really wish you could come with me too but you can't... It will be okay Emily..." Jennifer said, not sounding too convincing when she said that last part.

"Have you decided where you're gonna stay?" Emily asked.

"No...not yet... I'll just see how I feel when I get back." Jennifer answered.

Emily nodded then closed the distance between them and gave the blonde a soft kiss.

"I'm gonna miss you so much..." Emily whispered as she met Jennifer's eyes again.

Jennifer pulled the other woman close and held her tight. She really really didn't want to leave...

"I'm gonna miss you too... so so much..." she said softly and placed a kiss on Emily's neck.

She pulled back and met Emily's eyes then she kissed her tenderly. Emily pulled her closer and deepened the kiss briefly before slowly pulling back. When they parted they rested their foreheads against each others, their eyes still closed.

"I'm gonna get going... it's only going to be harder to say goodbye to you if I prolong it... So I'm gonna go..." Jennifer said and stepped out of Emily's embrace.

"Okay..." Emily said quietly as she watched the blonde return her focus to the bag on the bed.

Jennifer packed her last pieces of clothing into the bag and zipped it shut. She picked it up and turned around to face Emily again. She swallowed hard before she spoke, trying to keep it together.

"Thanks for everything Emily, I don't know what I would've have done without you and-"

Emily interrupted her and took hold of her shoulders gently.

"Don't talk like that, like we're saying goodbye. This is not a goodbye Jennifer, this is just a 'see you later' or something, not goodbye okay? Everything will be okay, we'll find a way to be together. We'll work something out. You going back is not goodbye, it's just temporary till we can come up with something." Emily said and looked into dark blue eyes before she continued.

"I love you." she said softly and watched as those dark blue eyes slowly started to fill up with tears.

"Hey... don't cry..." Emily said and pulled the blonde close to her.

"If you cry I'm gonna cry and I don't want to cry." Emily continued and kissed the side of Jennifer's head. Jennifer chuckled against Emily's shoulder.

"I wont cry." she said and pulled back to wipe her eyes before the threatening tears would fall.

"But I am gonna go now cause I know for a fact that I wont be able to hold it back for much longer..." Jennifer continued and kissed Emily tenderly before she left the brunette standing alone in the bedroom while she made her way out of Emily's apartment building.

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It was pretty late when Jennifer turned onto the road that lead to her and Nathan's house. She didn't know when she'd decided that she would go back to her home, where Nathan would be, but somewhere during the long drive back she decided that she would take her chance and go home. She really didn't have anywhere else to go, all her friends in Green Bay were also Nathan's friends. Other couples that they consorted with on a regular basis and though they all were really nice and sweet she didn't feel comfortable with confiding in any of them about this new situation that had occurred. She was fairly certain than Nathan hadn't said anything to their friends either.

Her two closest and best friends lived across the country and she really wished they would be closer, especially now.

Turning off the engine she took a deep breath and braced herself before she slowly stepped out of the car, grabbed her bag and walked towards the front door. She quickly realized that Nathan was home cause she saw reflections of light from the TV when she looked through the small window on the large wooden door. Taking another deep breath she put the key in the lock and slowly turned till she heard a clicking sound that indicated that the door was unlocked. She pushed the handle down and opened the door instantly hearing the sound coming from the TV and she suddenly felt very nervous with the fact that she would see Nathan again.

Nathan though he heard something and got up from the couch. He was shocked to see Jennifer standing in the hallway.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Jennifer looked at him, she couldn't quite read him and the tone of his voice didn't indicate anything either. Still, she prepared for a coming outburst.

"It's my house too Nathan." she simply answered.

"Oh, so your little trip to 'Lesbianville' is already over? Let me guess? You weren't gay enough for her, you realized that something was missing so you decided to come crawling back to me?" he said sarcastic.

Jennifer just looked at him, she didn't recognize the man standing in front of her. Nathan had never ever talked to her like this ever before. He'd never been mean to her and she knew he was hurting but it still surprised her that the man she spent seven years of her life with would feel like a complete stranger.

"I didn't come here to fight with you, I know you're hurt and I know that you don't want me here but I live here too. This is my house too and if you can't handle me being here I suggest you leave. I'm gonna go to the guestroom, you can either pack up and leave or continue to watch the game. It's your call." she said and walked past him.

Nathan stood and watched Jennifer walk into the guestroom and close the door behind her. He hadn't expected her to say that and he stood debating on whether to pack up and leave or just go back to watching the game and just ignore the fact that his fiancee, well ex-fiancee now, was in the guestroom.

He though about it for a moment and then returned to the living room to watch the end of the game.

The Packers had won the game and normally he would be thrilled but as he sat in front of the TV he hardly even registered that the game was over. Why had Jennifer come back? Had she realized that the Emily thing had just been a mistake? Did she want him back, was that why she was here? Thousands of thought's were running through his mind and he knew he wouldn't be able to think about anything else until he got some answers.

Slowly he made his way over to the guest room and raised his hand to knock on the door but hesitated. He wasn't sure this was such a good idea but then again, he had to get some answers so he knocked.

Jennifer was surprised to hear a knock on the door, she thought for sure Nathan would either leave the house or try his damnedest to avoid her.

"JJ? Can we talk?" she heard him say from outside the door.

She walked over to the door and slowly turned the knob and opened the door.

"I don't know Nate... I've just spent over four hours on the road, I'm tired and I really don't have the energy to fight with you." she answered.

"I just want to talk." he said.

"Okay..." Jennifer replied and walked past him and into the kitchen where she started to make some coffee.

Nathan followed her and leaned against the door frame and watched Jennifer who stood by the counter. As she turned around she noticed that Nathan was looking at her.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing." he said quickly and averted his eyes.

"Okay. So what do you wanna talk about?" she asked and took a seat by the kitchen table.

Nathan waited for a moment before he slowly made his way over to the kitchen table himself and sat down opposite the blonde.

"I just... Why did you come back?" he asked somewhat hesitatingly.

"I'm going back to work tomorrow." she simply answered and saw that that was not the answer he wanted to hear.

"Oh.. right... work." he said feeling really stupid for asking. If he'd taken a second to think he would've remembered that.

"What? Did you think I came back for you?" she asked and looked at him.

"No." he answered way too quickly but Jennifer decided she wasn't going to push it.

There was a moments silence, the only sound that filled the room was the sound of the perculator. Nathan looked at his hands and seemed to be having thousands of thoughts. Jennifer couldn't stand the awkwardness that was slowly growing so she got up and went to grab a cup from the cupboard and then went to stand in front of the percolator as if watching the thing would make the coffee finish sooner.

Finally after what seemed like forever it was done and she poured herself a large cup. Turning around she looked at Nathan who still seemed deep in thought.

"Do you want some coffee?" she asked and he looked up and met her eyes.

"Uh? Yeah, yes please." he said.

Jennifer poured another cup and put in in front of Nathan then took a seat again.

"Thank you." he said and picked up the cup.

After taking a few slow sips he put the cup down and looked at Jennifer.

"Are you really sure about this?" he asked.

Jennifer met his eyes.

"What? Coming here? Well I didn't really have anywhere else to go so yeah." she replied.

"No, no... That's not what I mean. Are you sure about... about this Emily thing?" he said with a hint of disgust in his voice.

"This 'Emily-thing'?" she replied a little annoyed.

"I know you Jennifer, you're not gay. I know you're not. Look..." he started and reached for Jennifer's hands which she quickly removed from the table.

"We were so good together Jennifer and I know you still feel something for me deep inside" he got up from his side of the table and walked over to Jennifer and got down on his knees in front of her.

"I can make you happy and I can take care of you if you just let me..." he continued and reached for her hand. This time Jennifer let him take it.

"I love you. I love you so much and I know I can make you happy. We can work things out Jennifer...I know we can. We belong together..." he said and cupped her face with his free hand.

Jennifer looked at him and felt her heart break all over again. He really was a great guy and it killed her to see his blue eyes looking at her so hopeful when she knew she would take away his hope again.

Before she knew what happened Nathan had moved forward and captured her lips with his own. She pushed him away and looked at him shocked.

"What the hell are you doing Nathan?" she said furiously.

"I love you Jennifer." Nathan replied and got up on his feet.

Jennifer got up from the chair and was about to go back to the guest room when she felt Nathan take hold of her hand.

"Please... I know we can work it out."

"No Nathan, we can't work it out!" Jennifer said and pulled her hand away from Nathan's.

"You know we're great together. You're not gay Jennifer, look-" he was interrupted by a very furious blonde.

"No you look! I didn't plan this okay? It just happened and I don't know if this makes me gay or bisexual or whatever, but what I do know is that I fell in love with Emily! I'm in love with her Nathan and that's not gonna change. Maybe this has always been a part of me but I just didn't know about it until now. But Nathan, it's not gonna change, what I'm feeling for Emily is **not** gonna change. What we had together you and I was wonderful and I wouldn't change it for the world but we're over and I know that deep down you're hoping that I'll 'come to my senses' and come back to you but that's not gonna happen. Me coming back now is only because I have to return to work tomorrow. That's the _only_ reason. If you'll excuse me I think I'm gonna go to bed now." she was so furious she couldn't stand to be in the same room as him anymore.

She just wanted to get the hell out of there and never go back. He could have the house, she didn't even care anymore but as she got into the guest room and slammed the door shut, she took a couple of deep breaths and started to calm down a little.

She really didn't want to fight with Nathan, she knew he was hurt but he'd really gone too far by kissing her.

She crashed down on top of the bed and picked up her phone. She debated on whether or not to call Emily. She really wanted to hear her voice but she was afraid she would break down and start to cry if she did so she decided that a text message would be the best thing.

**I made it home okay and I'm staying in the guest room in the house. Nathan's here but everything is alright, I'm alright. Sorry for sending you a text instead of calling you but I'm really tired and I'm also afraid I'll start to cry if I talk to you... I really really wish I was in your arms right now... I love you xx**

**/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/**

Emily was sitting on the couch half watching some comedy show on TV when her phone beeped. She picked it up immediately. After reading Jennifer message she started to type her reply.

**I'm glad you made it home safe and that you are alright. You know that you can call me at any time if you want to, okay? Just close your eyes and go to sleep and I'll be there holding you. I love you too. .. so much. Good night xx**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N**

**You know when I first got started with this whole fanfiction writing thing the one thing I wanted was to have close updates. I personally don't like it when fics I read and really like gets updated rarely, kinda makes me lose interest in it (except if it's a really good one then I'll continue reading regardless) What I'm saying is that this fic and me as the author has turned into what I didn't want. I've thought about tying it all together and just finish it but I'm not really sure where I want this story to go so that's why it's still "alive". I totally understand if some has lost interest in this fic due to the slow updates. I'm not gonna come with a bunch of excuses for my late updates, I can just say that life has been kinda insane lately and then leave it with that. **

**So to those who still want to follow Emily and JJ in this journey, here's the next chapter.**

**Ratings and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 23

Jennifer felt really nervous as she opened the door and stepped inside the building. Would her colleagues know about the new change in her life? She wasn't sure if Nathan had said anything to anybody. She didn't think he had but either way, rumors traveled fast and she was certain it would only be a matter of time before the news of her leaving Nathan would reach her colleagues. Stepping into the staff canteen she was greeted by a couple of colleagues who was sitting by a table drinking coffee. Mandy Simmons and Stephanie Lawson, the office's largest gossips, beckoned her to come join them. Pouring herself a cup she took a seat at the same table.

"Hi JJ, did you have a good vacation?" Mandy asked joyful and sipped on her coffee.

Jennifer smiled and took a sip of her own coffee before she answered.

"Yeah, it was good. Too short though."

"It's always too short." Stephanie agreed.

"Did you go anywhere?" she asked.

"Uhm, yeah. We spent a couple of days at dad's fiancee's cottage in Minocqua." Jennifer replied not wanting to go further with that topic.

The three women chatted for a while until it was time to start working. Jennifer was relieved that no rumors seemed to be floating around the office. Unfortunately it would turn out that that was not the case.

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Jennifer left the office at lunchtime to go out and buy some food. Meanwhile in the staff canteen Stephanie Lawson had just returned with her lunch and spotted Mandy sitting with a couple of other colleagues at a round table. She hurried over there and took a seat.

"You guys will not believe what I just heard..."

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Jennifer opened the door to the staff canteen carrying her food in one hand and a glass bottle of orange juice in the other. She saw her colleagues sitting by a table further in so she started to walk over there to join them when she heard Stephanie Lawson's voice and the blood froze in her veins.

"... and apparently, and you're never gonna believe this, JJ left Nathan for another _woman_! Imagine the shock for poor Nathan... Finding out your fiancee is a lesbian."

The sound of glass crashing against the floor made everybody at the table turn around and standing a few feet from their table was a pale looking Jennifer with pieces of glass and a pool of orange juice around her feet, together with the Caesar salad she was planning on having for lunch.

Stephanie swallowed audible when she realized that the blonde had heard her and wondered how she could save the situation.

"JJ, uhm you.." she started but before she could finish Jennifer had turned around and walked away from the canteen.

She felt sick. She ran towards the restroom and stopped by the sink, bracing herself on her arms against the cool granite sink counter she tried to catch her breath. This could not be happening, she did not just hear Stephanie Lawson gossip about her in the staff canteen. She looked up at the mirror and saw her own reflection. She looked terrible. Turning on the water tap she splashed her face with cold water and reached for a paper towel. Drying her face she heard the sound of the door opening she pulled the paper towel from her face and turned to see Jill, one of her colleague who was sitting by the same table where Stephanie Lawson was spilling her gossip about the blonde. Jill closed the door slowly behind her and leaned her back against it.

"You okay?" she asked gently.

Jennifer looked at her and crumpled the paper towel in her hand and tossed it in the trash.

"Please tell me I got everything wrong? That I didn't just hear Steph gossiping about me behind my back..." Jennifer said hoping against all hope that she had heard wrong.

"I'm sorry JJ... but you know how she is, she gossips about everything and everyone without even bother to check if it's true or not. Don't worry, no one believes her anyway. It's pretty obvious she's way off track, I mean it's ridiculous. You, a lesbian." Jill said and chuckled.

Jennifer looked away, she couldn't look at her. Jill noticed the blonde's crestfallen appearance and stopped chuckle. Could it be true? Was Stephanie's gossip actually the truth? No... it couldn't be, could it? Jill stepped away from the door and took a tentative step closer to the blonde who was still looking down.

"JJ... is... is Steph's gossip true? Are you... are you a-" Jennifer interrupted her before she could say it.

"I don't know what I am..." she said quietly not looking up.

"But you've left Nathan?" Jill asked tentatively.

The blonde nodded slowly.

"For... for another woman?"

Jennifer nodded again and closed her eyes tightly.

"Oh…well…I-I don't really know what to say…I wasn't expecting that…" Jill said with a slight shocked tone to her voice.

Jennifer didn't look up, she didn't even open her eyes.

"It's okay… I wasn't expecting it either…"

Jill looked at the woman in front of her and she looked completely devastated. She slowly walked over to her colleague and friend and put a tentative hand on the blonde's shoulder. When Jennifer felt Jill's hand on her shoulder she couldn't hold it in anymore and she started to cry.

"Hey… it's gonna be okay…come here." Jill said gently and pulled the crying blonde into her arms.

Jennifer hesitated a second, she didn't want to look like a crying mess in front of her colleague but when she felt Jill's arms around her she wrapped her own arms around the other woman and accepted her comfort.

Jill held her till her crying subsided and she felt that the blonde started to relax a little in her arms. She pulled back slowly and rubbed her hands up and down Jennifer's upper arms in a soothing manner. Jennifer looked down, she couldn't bring herself to look at the other woman, she felt embarrassed for well, the whole situation really.

"I'm sorry…" she said, still looking down.

"You don't have to apologize, you have nothing to apologize for. If anyone should apologize it's Steph. She really should learn to keep her mouth shut and just mind her own fucking business." Jill replied.

"Yeah…well… the damage is already done so…" Jennifer said softly.

She had no idea what to do. Jill's first reaction was that she didn't believe Steph's gossip and everybody in the office knew that whatever Stephanie Lawson and Mandy Simmons said should be taken with a grain of salt. She could deny it and the rest of her colleagues would most likely believe her over the gossip but she also knew that as soon as they find out that she in fact _has_ left Nathan it would only be a matter of time before those other rumors would start again. Lying about it would not really help anything but just thinking about telling her colleagues and friends cause yes, she did consider most of them as her friends, made her chest tighten. She wasn't ready for this, how could she be? Her life had been turned completely upside down in such a short period of time and everything she thought she knew about herself was obviously wrong.

_Finding out your fiancée is a lesbian… _Stephanie Lawson's word echoed in her head. Was she a lesbian? She was in love with a woman and that made her a lesbian right? God she just wanted to disappear. Jill's voice brought her back from her thoughts.

"What are you gonna do?" Jill asked tentatively and took a small step back but left one hand on the blonde's arm.

"I have no idea… I just wanna disappear, I don't want to go back out there… I can't face them… but I really want to beat the crap out of Steph."

That last sentence made Jill laugh and Jennifer chuckled too.

"I thought about denying it…" Jennifer continued more serious.

"But it's true… I-I mean I don't know what I am but what she said is true and lying about it now will only make everything worse later… But I'm freaking out Jill… I can't even believe I'm talking to you about it." Jennifer confessed.

"That's understandable. I'm kinda shocked to be honest, I just wasn't expecting it to be true but know that I don't think of you _any_ differently because of this. You're still the same person you've always been, who you fall in love with doesn't change that, okay? So no matter what you decide to do I'm on your side." Jill said and smiled when the blonde finally looked up and met her eyes.

"Thank you…" Jennifer whispered and her lips turned upwards into a small smile.

She was still freaking out but hearing that made the situation a little bit lighter.

Jennifer decided to take a sick leave for the rest of the day. She couldn't face the rest of her co-workers that had been in the canteen when Steph spilled all that gossip about her. She just couldn't do it, she just wanted to get out of there. Jill told her that she could talk to the others if she wanted her to and the blonde had just nodded, feeling like there was no way she would be able to talk about this in front of her colleagues right now. She needed some time to process everything and to find some courage to deal with it. How that would happen she had no idea…

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

She returned home to an empty house which she was really grateful for. Dealing with Nathan after what had happened at work was the last thing she wanted to do. Her head hurt and she just wanted to close her eyes for a moment and forget this day ever happened.

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The sound of a frantic knocking on the guestroom door woke her up. She hadn't even realized she'd fallen asleep but as she glanced at the clock on the bedside table it showed 5.47 PM. She'd slept for quite a while.

"JJ are you in here?"

The sound of Nathan's voice made her sit up straight.

"Yeah, I must have fallen asleep." She said sleepily and rubbed her eyes.

Nathan opened the door and peeked inside.

"Sorry but I got home like 5 minutes ago and your phone has been buzzing like crazy on the kitchen table. I just thought you'd wanna check it out." Nathan said and stepped inside and handed her the phone then left and closed the door behind him.

As she looked at the display she saw she had 10 missed calls and 4 voice messages, all from Elizabeth's phone. She felt icy shivers down her spine, this could not be good. She cursed herself for leaving her phone in the kitchen with the sound off. Getting up from the bed she ignored the voice messages and hit the re-dial button and put the phone to her ear. Her heart was pounding really fast. Why had Elizabeth called her so many times? Something must have happened to her dad, she knew he sometimes got vascular spasms but they were always very light and he had never had to go to the hospital to get it checked. It always got better after he rested.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up…" she whispered.

It felt like she'd waited for hours when Elizabeth finally answered.

"Jennifer." Elizabeth's voice sounded through the speakers in Jennifer's phone which she held tight to her ear.

"Elizabeth. My phone was on silent so I didn't hear it. Has something happened to dad? Is he alright, has-"

"Jennifer…" Elizabeth interrupted her.

Jennifer could hear the sound of the older woman's voice and it was cracking. Her heart started to beat faster and she felt an ache to her heart as well. Something was wrong.

"Your dad is alright… It's… it's Emily…" Elizabeth's voice broke when she said Emily's name and Jennifer felt her whole body freeze.

She wanted to ask what had happened to Emily but nothing came out.

"She's… she's been shot a-and… a-and it doesn't look good…" Elizabeth choked out.

Jennifer dropped the phone and then everything went black.

**A/N**

**I know I'm really mean for leaving it here but it just kind of happened. I hadn't intended on having Emily getting hurt in this fic but as I wrote this chapter I just sort of ended up here. Don't hate me ;)**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N**

**Thank you so much for all reviews for the last chapter. Most of you thought I was pretty mean for leaving it there and I can agree with that. By now you should've learned that I kinda have a thing for 'cliffies' and there will most likely be more ;)**

**Rating and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

_**Para alguém especial**_

Chapter 24

"JJ, are you okay? What happened?" Nathan asked worriedly as he knelt down beside the blonde and shook her gently.

He had heard a muffled sound coming from the guestroom and when JJ hadn't answered when called out her name he slowly opened the door and found the blonde on the floor.

Jennifer had no idea what had happened. She heard Nathan's voice and slowly opened her eyes to find his concerned blue ones looking back at her.

"Hey, are you okay? I heard a sound so I came to look and you were lying on the floor. What happened?" Nathan asked.

Jennifer got up from the floor with Nathan's help and sat down on the edge of the bed. She spotted her phone on the floor.

"Oh my God Emily…" she whispered and bent down to grab her phone.

The second she picked it up she put it back to her ear.

"Elizabeth?" she waited for a response but quickly understood that the call must have been disconnected when she dropped her phone.

"What's going on JJ?" Nathan asked worried.

Jennifer didn't answer, she was too busy trying to redial Elizabeth to hear him. She put her phone back to her ear and waited for Elizabeth to answer.

"Jennifer? What happened? The call got disconnected." Elizabeth said as soon as she answered.

"Elizabeth, what about Emily. What happened?" Jennifer asked as she felt a lump in her throat which she desperately tried to swallow.

"I-I don't know any details j-just that her team was doing a raid against a suspected terrorist group and that something went terribly wrong…" Elizabeth said with a strained voice, obviously trying to keep it together.

"She's in surgery now… they… they said it didn't look good…" Elizabeth's voice broke at that last sentence.

Jennifer closed her eyes and tears slowly trickled down her cheeks.

"Where is she?" she asked.

"Northwestern Memorial Hospital." Elizabeth answered.

"I'm on my way." Jennifer said and hung up.

She slumped down on the bed clutching the phone tightly with both her hands. Nathan looked at her and had no idea what was going on but realized whatever it was it involved Emily and it wasn't good.

"Jennifer? What's going on?" He asked and took a seat by his former girlfriend.

He noticed that tears were running down her face but she was silent.

"Hey?" he put his hand on her arm gently.

"Just talk to me JJ." He pleaded.

Jennifer kept staring at her phone. It was like she was in some sort of a bad dream and she was praying that she would wake up soon. She closed her eyes for a second and another flood of tears started to run down her face.

"Uhm… Em… Emily… It's Emily… She's… oh God… She's been shot Nathan…" Jennifer started crying when she uttered those last words.

"What? Oh my God, is she okay?" Nathan asked and instinctively pulled the blonde close and held her.

Jennifer let Nathan hold her and she buried her face against his chest.

"They said it doesn't look good…" she cried against his chest.

She forced herself to pull herself together, she had to go to Chicago and she had to go now.

"I have to go there Nathan. I have to go to her…" she said as she pulled away and got up from the bed.

"What? Are you gonna drive there now?" Nathan asked. She really shouldn't be driving.

"I have to be there so yes, I'm driving there now." Jennifer said and walked out of the room.

Nathan went after her.

"You can't drive there in your state, you're really upset. It's not safe." Nathan argued.

"I'm going Nathan." Jennifer said firmly.

"Let me drive." Nathan offered.

"I can't deal with you being there Nathan, I can't. I don't want you there." Jennifer said.

Nathan felt a sting is his heart by her words but he couldn't let her drive to Chicago in the state she was in, an accident was bound to happen and he couldn't live with himself is something happened to her.

"I wont stay, I'll just drive you. JJ please, you shouldn't drive when you're this upset. I'll drive you there and then I'll leave, okay?" he said sincerely.

"Okay…" the blonde said and nodded.

Jennifer wanted to go instantly but Nathan convinced her to at least bring a bag with some extra clothes, which she did. She packed in a hurry and then they left.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Nathan thought the car ride was excruciatingly silent. Jennifer hadn't said a word since they left Green Bay. She was looking out the window with a forlorn expression on her face. Her hands were folded in her lap and she tried to keep it together but inside she was falling apart.

Nathan glanced at her every now and then and he desperately wanted to say something but couldn't think of something. She obviously didn't want to small talk so he just sat in silence as he drove as fast as the speed limit allowed him to go.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

When they drove through Milwaukee Jennifer called Elizabeth again. She was afraid to call her but she just needed to hear something about Emily's condition. Elizabeth answered immediately.

"Jennifer, are you on your way?"

"Yes, we just left Milwaukee." Jennifer answered.

"We?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yeah, Nathan is driving me… he wouldn't let me drive so he's driving me there and then he'll go back to Green Bay."

Nathan looked at the blonde for a second when he heard his name being mentioned. Something about the way she said his name and just her whole body language told him that he wouldn't get her back. It wasn't just because of the situation with Emily, well in a way it was, but he realized that she wasn't coming back to him. He swallowed had, not wanting to get emotional in front of Jennifer, she had enough to deal with but this realization really hurt. Maybe he had been naive but he had really believed that Jennifer would come to her senses and realize what she was throwing away and come back to him. Now he knew that wouldn't happen.

"Have you heard anything?" Jennifer asked and she was absolutely terrified of hearing the answer.

"No, she's still in surgery. They said it would take a while but they would let us know how it was proceeding but we still haven't heard anything." Elizabeth answered and Jennifer didn't really feel any calmer by that answer.

_Why hasn't anyone informed them about how the surgery is going? That can't be a good sign right?_ She shook her head to try and shake those negative thoughts away, thinking negatively wouldn't help Emily. _No, just positive thinking. Positive… She has to make it… she has to…_

"I call as soon as we reach the hospital." Jennifer said and hung up.

Again she turned her head away from Nathan's direction and looked out the window, her phone tightly clutched in her hands. Nathan glanced at her again.

"Any news?" he asked gently.

"No." was the only reply he got, she didn't even look at him.

He nodded slowly and returned his focus on the road.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Just over two hours later Nathan pulled into the parking lot outside the hospital. Jennifer had talked to Elizabeth who would meet her by the hospital reception.

"Do you want me to walk you to the entrance?" Nathan asked.

"No, it's fine. Thank you for driving me here Nate, I appreciate it." She answered and picked up her bag from the floor and opened the car door.

"Will you let me know how the surgery went?"

"Do you even care?" Jennifer spat out before she even registered what she'd said.

Nathan looked at her, surprised by her harsh words.

"W-what?" he just stuttered out not really knowing how to respond to that.

"I'm sorry but do you really care what happens? And frankly, calling you to let you know how Emily's surgery went isn't on the top of my priority list. Thank you for driving me here but I would really appreciate it if you just left now. I have to go inside." Jennifer said and closed the door on a rather shocked Nathan.

She really hadn't meant to sound so harsh and she took some of her frustration out on him which wasn't fair, but she really didn't care about that right now. All she cared about was getting inside that hospital and see if Emily was out if surgery.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Elizabeth had been pacing back and forth in the hospital foyer waiting for the blonde to show up. Every time the entrance door opened she turned her head to see if Jennifer would walk through the doors and suddenly she spotted a blonde head moving quickly past some people who were also on their way inside. She quickly walked towards her and called out her name when she came closer.

When Jennifer heard someone call out her name and met Elizabeth's eyes she couldn't hold it all in any longer. She stepped forward and into Elizabeth's open arms and just broke down.

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Elizabeth held the crying woman in her arms and just let her get it all out. She stroked her hair tenderly and though her own tears were running down her face she held it together. Jennifer needed her to be strong right now and she could do that.

It was like a dam had broken when Jennifer had spotted the older woman. Everything suddenly became so real, Emily was somewhere inside this hospital, on an operating table fighting for her life.

When Elizabeth felt that Jennifer was calming down a bit she slowly pulled back and wiped the tears from the blone's face as well as her own.

"Have… have you heard anything? How is she doing?" Jennifer asked with a very teary voice.

"A nurse came to talk to us about 30 minutes ago and they'd manage to get the bleeding under control and had started to repair the damage the bullet caused." Elizabeth answered. It sounded surreal to hear those words leave her mouth.

Jennifer just nodded. Elizabeth picked up Jennifer's bag from the floor and put one arm around her shoulder.

"Let's go to the waiting room, your father is there." Elizabeth said.

"Yeah."

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Elizabeth opened the door to the waiting room area and guided Jennifer inside. The blonde instantly saw her father who was standing up and he came towards them and pulled his daughter into his arms.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart." He whispered and kissed her hair.

Jennifer started crying again and tightened her hold around her father.

"She's going to be okay. She's going to come back to us. To you…" he said and kissed her hair again.

Jennifer buried her face in his chest and just let her father hold her.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

The time passed painfully slow. Emily had been in surgery a little over eight hours and they hadn't been given any more information. However, Emily's unit chief had stopped by to see how Emily's surgery was going and to inform her family of what had happened.

Emily's team was doing a raid against a suspected terrorist group but there had been a leak and the suspects knew the FBI was coming and had started shooting against them as soon as they entered the building. Two of the team members had been shot and Emily was injured worst. She got hit in the chest and the bullet penetrated her safety west and went into her body, causing severe damage.

He had only stayed briefly to inform them about the events but he would return later. Two of Emily's team members had also been waiting in the waiting room but had been ordered back to headquarters about an hour ago. They had informed Emily's family that they would come back.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Eight hours turned into ten hours and Jennifer was beside herself with worry, as was Elizabeth. Jack had gone down to the cafeteria to bring back something to eat but neither Jennifer nor Elizabeth had even touched the food.

"I can't take it anymore, someone must know something. Why aren't they telling us, why?" Jennifer said upset.

"I don't know sweetheart." Jack said and walked up to his pacing daughter and put a hand on her shoulder.

The sound of a door opening made everyone turn their attention in that direction and a man in scrubs walked into the waiting room.

"How is she? Is she okay?" Elizabeth asked with a trembling voice.

"She's in recovery, the operation went well considering the circumstances. We were able to extract the bullet from Emily's chest and repair the damage it caused her lung. However, she'd already lost a severe amount of blood when she got here and she went into cardiorespiratory arrest during surgery." the doctor said.

Jennifer's heart stopped when she heard the doctor speak. She may not know much about medical stuff but she knew what that meant. Emily's heart had stopped, she'd _died_ on the table. The doctor's voice brought her back from her thoughts.

"The resuscitation attempt was successful and we manage to-" the doctor was interrupted.

"She died?" Jennifer asked with a trembling voice.

Elizabeth put her arm around her.

"They brought her back sweetie." she said with a soothing voice trying to calm both the young woman and herself.

"But her heart stopped, so technically she died?" Jennifer said, the question directed to the doctor.

"Yes, her heart stop but we managed to resuscitate her and stabilize her and the rest of the surgery proceeded without any complications. She's in recovery now and though the surgery was successful, her condition is still critical. The next 48 hours will be crucial." the doctor said.

"Can… can we see her?" Jennifer asked.

"Yes you can see her but one at the time and only for a little while. She needs rest."

"Thank you doctor." Elizabeth said.

"A nurse will be in shortly to show you to the ICU unit where Emily is." the doctor said and left.

Jennifer wanted to run to the ICU unit but she realized she should let Elizabeth see her first. It was her daughter and Jennifer could only imagine how worried she must be. A minute later a nurse came and said she would show them to Emily. Elizabeth looked at Jennifer and met the blonde's eyes. She could see how badly she wanted to go see Emily but at the same time she saw how she was hesitant and Elizabeth knew it was because the blonde was thinking that she, as Emily's mother, should be the first one to see her.

"You go first Jennifer." Elizabeth said and gave the blonde a small smile.

"But… it's your daughter, you should see her first." Jennifer replied.

Elizabeth walked up to her and put her hand on Jennifer's arm.

"I know and I want to see her so desperately but I know Emily will ask for you the second she wakes up so you go and see her first sweetie. She wants you there." Elizabeth said and smiled to reassure the blonde that it was okay.

Jennifer only nodded and swallowed hard. Elizabeth squeezed her arm gently before letting go.

"If you follow me miss." the nurse said.

Jennifer nodded again and followed the nurse as she led her towards the ICU unit. The closer they came the faster her heart started to beat and she thought she was going to have some sort of panic attack and collapse before she would get to see Emily. The nurse looked at the blonde and noticed her somewhat panicked appearance.

"Are you okay?" the nurse asked gently.

"I don't know… I don't think so…" Jennifer answered.

"Here, come and sit down for a while." The nurse said and lead her towards a bench in the hallway.

"Just take a couple of deep breaths okay? You'll be okay. When we get there your friend will have different kinds of tubes connected to her body and it can look a little scary but it's only there to help her get better, okay?" the nurse said very gently.

"Okay."

"Are you ready to go see her now?" the nurse asked.

Jennifer nodded and the nurse helped her up from the bench and continued to lead her towards the room where Emily was.

"Okay, we're here. Do you want me to follow you inside?" the nurse asked as they stopped outside a room.

"No, it's okay. Thank you." Jennifer said.

"Okay. I'll just be down the hall, come find me when you're ready if you need me to show you the way back to the waiting room." The nurse said and gave her arm a reassuring squeeze.

"Thank you."

Jennifer took a deep breath and then slowly pushed the door opened.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N**

**Okay so I should say that I have zero medical knowledge so I really try to avoid getting too deep on that area but some stuff is kinda unavoidable so let's just say google is my friend and I hope I got it somewhat right :) If not, just ignore my ignorance and focus on the other parts, kay? :p **

**Thank you so much for your reviews.**

****Rating and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.****

Chapter 25

Jennifer stepped inside and slowly closed the door behind her. She thought she was somewhat prepared for what she would see but as she took a small step inside the room and looked up her eyes landed on the hospital bed where the woman she loved laid and her heart almost stopped. Emily was lying motionless on the bed with all kinds of tubes and wires connected to her body. The only thing she could here was the different sounds coming from the ventilator and all other monitors that were surrounding Emily's bed. Tears filled her eyes as she inched closer and as she reached Emily's bed she couldn't hold it inside anymore. She pulled up a chair by the bed and sat down and leaned her head against the side of Emily's bed close to the other woman's hand and just cried. She gently took Emily's hand and pressed her lips against it as tears fell from her face.

"You have to wake up Emily... you have to fight do you hear me?...You can't leave me... please... don't leave me..." she whispered with a teary voice and kissed Emily's hand again.

Composing herself a little she stood up again and gently touched Emily's face with her fingertips. She looked so fragile and Jennifer was almost afraid to touch her, thinking she might cause her pain. Emily had a tracheal tube down her throat that helped her breathe and Jennifer watched as the ventilator filled Emily's lungs with air and then helped her exhale. Everything felt so surreal, like she was in a very bad nightmare and she desperately wanted someone to come and wake her up.

"How could this happen?... and why you?... God Emily... You have to live...I don't know what I'd do if I lose you...I love you so much..." she whispered and gently ran the tip of her fingers across Emily's cheek, careful not to touch the tube that was helping her breathe.

"I'm gonna be here till you wake up okay? I'm not leaving you...I'm never ever leaving you..." she wiped the tears from her face and slowly leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on Emily's forehead.

"I wish I could stay by your side but you need to rest and your mom is desperate to see you, but I'm not far. I'll be in the waiting room. It's just down the hall, I think if you yell I'll probably hear you." Jennifer said and smiled through her tears.

"I'm not leaving so you'd better not leave me you hear?" she pressed another tender kiss to Emily's forehead and leaned back slightly and whispered:

"Fight for me... for us..."

She brought Emily's hand up to her mouth and kissed it gently.

"I love you."

She didn't want to leave, God how she didn't want to leave but she had to let Elizabeth see her daughter. It killed her to walk out of the room and as she closed the door behind her she started to cry again. It was all too much too handle for one day and she was exhausted. She hadn't slept at all during the night, she couldn't, and she hadn't eaten in over 24 hours. She knew she needed to get something to eat but she had no appetite. She took a couple of deep breaths to compose herself and wiped the tears from her eyes before she started to walk back to the waiting room.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Jennifer didn't say anything to neither Elizabeth nor Jack as she returned to the waiting room, she just headed to one of the couches and slumped down, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Elizabeth watched the other woman and she wanted to go over and comfort her but she also needed to see her daughter so badly.

"Go to Emily, I'll go check on her." Jack said sensing his fiancée's worry over his daughter.

Elizabeth nodded and walked out of the waiting room. Jack turned around and looked at his daughter for a moment. She was sitting on the couch, hugging her legs and just staring into space. She looked so devastated and Jack realized then that his daughter's feelings for Emily were real.

He slowly made his way over there and as he sat down next to his daughter he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. Jennifer let go of her legs and wrapped her arms around her father and took comfort by his warmth and strength.

"If… if I lose her dad…"

"Shhh… you're not gonna lose her." Jack said gently.

"Emily is a strong woman, she will fight with everything she have to come back to you." He continued.

They sat in silence for a while. Jennifer was exhausted and as she leaned against her father she slowly started to wind down. She could feel how sleep was about to claim her when he father's voice brought her back.

"I never hated you. I could never hate you Jennifer."

Jennifer just listened to her father who continued to speak.

"You're my daughter and I love you. Nothing will ever change that…" he said and tightened his hold around his daughter.

Jennifer closed her eyes again and just let sleep claim her, feeling safe and protected in her father's arms.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Elizabeth returned to the waiting room to find her fiancé and his daughter asleep on the couch. A small smile graced her lips as she watched them. It was so good to see them overcome their differences and now more than ever they all needed positive things happening. She took a seat in one of the armchairs and just watched them for a moment until everything caught up with her as well and she felt how exhausted she was. It didn't take long till she was asleep as well.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Emily was having such a weird and frightening dream. She felt as if she was caught in darkness and desperately trying to find her way out of it. She wanted to scream, call for help but she couldn't get a single sound out. It was as if something was in the way, blocking every attempt at making a sound. She just wanted to wake up, she didn't want to be in this dream anymore. She was hurting and she was scared and she wanted Jennifer. She knew she was somewhere there in the darkness too cause she'd heard her voice but she couldn't see anything. That thought really frightened her, she had to find her and keep her safe. That was the only thing that mattered to her. She had to try and get out of this darkness so she could find Jennifer…

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Around lunchtime a nurse came into Emily's room to change the IV bag and as she was checking the peripheral cannula on Emily's hand she noticed that the woman's fingers were moving so she called for the doctor.

After a lot of tests which all showed that her vital signs were much better than to be expected, they decided to remove the tracheal tube and try to wake her up.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

"Excuse me, miss Prentiss?" a voice gently spoke and woke Elizabeth from her slumber.

She sat up straighter and rubbed her hands over her face to wake herself up more properly.

"Sorry to wake you but I have some good news. Your daughter's vital signs have improved remarkably so the doctors have removed the tracheal tube successfully. She's breathing on her own and the doctors expect her to wake up soon. It looks really good." The nurse said and smiled.

Elizabeth couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"She's… she's going to be okay?" Elizabeth asked with a trembling voice.

"She's not completely out of the woods yet but it looks really really good." The nurse answered and before she knew what had happened, Elizabeth had engulfed her in a big hug.

"Thank you, thank you…" she said softly as tears escaped her eyes.

"They've moved her out of the ICU unit and she's on the fifth floor now. You can go see her whenever you're ready." The nurse said as Elizabeth released her.

"Thank you." Elizabeth said again and smiled through her tears.

The nurse smiled back and then left the waiting room.

Elizabeth slumped down in the armchair again and just couldn't believe what she'd just been told. Emily was going to be okay? She was breathing on her own? She wiped her tears and got up from the chair and walked over to the couch. She took a seat on the table in front of the couch and put her hand on Jennifer's leg and shook it gently.

"Jennifer? Jennifer wake up sweetie." She said gently.

Jack started to stir and opened his eyes to find his fiancée sitting on the table in front of him with tears in her eyes but with a smile on her lips.

"Honey? Has something happened?" Jack asked.

"Emily is going to be okay. A nurse just came and told me. She's going to be okay Jack." Elizabeth said and Jack slowly extracted himself from his sleeping daughter who was leaning against him and wrapped his fiancée up in a tight hug.

"That's wonderful news sweetheart." he said and kissed the side of her head.

"I know. I can't believe it. She's even breathing on her own." Elizabeth told him.

"She's what? Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth pulled back when she heard a sleepy and somewhat confused voice and as her eyes landed on a very sleepy looking blonde her smile grew even wider and she quickly pulled the younger woman into her arms.

"Emily is going to be okay sweetie. They've taken her off the ventilator and she's breathing on her own. The doctors said she'll wake up soon." Elizabeth said as new tears escaped her eyes.

Jennifer thought she was dreaming, that she was still sleeping. Emily would be okay?

"What?..." Elizabeth pulled back so she could look into the blonde's eyes.

"A nurse just came and informed me that she's doing so much better than expected. They've moved her from the ICU unit to the fifth floor and we can go see her when we're ready." Elizabeth said.

"She's… she's going to be okay?..." Jennifer said and her voice broke.

Elizabeth pulled her close again and held her tight.

"She's going to be okay sweetie. She's going to be okay." Elizabeth said emotionally and Jennifer just cried.

It felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted from her chest.

"I have to see her Elizabeth. I... I have to see her." Jennifer said.

"I know you want to see her but you really should get something to eat first sweetheart. You haven't eaten since you got here and-" Jack started but Jennifer interrupted him.

"I'm fine dad. I'm not hungry. I just want to see her."

"Okay, listen. I'll head down to the cafeteria and get some sandwiches and coffee and I'll just meet you in Emily's room in a while okay?" Jack suggested.

"Sounds like a plan." Elizabeth said and got up and pulled the blonde up with her.

"Come on sweetie. Let's go see her." Elizabeth said and smiled.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

After asking a nurse where Emily was laying they quickly made their way over to her room. As they walked into the room the first thing Jennifer noticed was that there weren't as many machines around Emily as it had been when she first saw her. As her eyes landed on the injured woman and saw her sleeping without a tracheal tube in her throat or the sound of the ventilator filling the room, it really felt like Emily would indeed be alright and Jennifer released a breath she didn't even know she was holding.

Elizabeth had walked right over to her daughter and after she'd kissed her forehead she pulled a chair closer to the bed and sat down. Jennifer stood in the doorway still, a little paralyzed by the complete unreality of this situation. It still felt like all this was some terrible nightmare and she was still hoping she would wake up from it soon.

"Jennifer?"

"Huh?" she was brought back from her thoughts by Elizabeth's soft voice.

"Are you okay?"

"Sorry, I just kinda spaced out for a sec." Jennifer said and walked over to the bed.

She pulled out another chair on the other side of Emily's bed and sat down. She slowly reached for Emily's hand and gently stroked her thumb over the back of Emily's hand.

"It's so unreal Elizabeth…" she said quietly.

"I know… it's like a bad dream." Elizabeth said as she gently stroked her daughter's hair.

"Yeah…" Jennifer replied and looked at her hand holding Emily's.

"But the important thing is that she's going to be okay." Elizabeth said and turned to look at the blonde.

Jennifer just nodded, she didn't look up. She quickly wiped away a tear that escaped her eye. She would **not** start crying again, not now. Emily could very well wake up any minute and she needed to be strong for her.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Emily was back in the dream and she heard voices, well she thought she heard voices but she wasn't sure because they weren't persistent but she was certain she'd heard them which meant someone else was there in the darkness. She was certain she'd heard Jennifer's voice before and that she'd heard it briefly just a moment ago so she had to be close and she had to find her… Again she tried to make a sound and to her surprise, whatever it was that had blocked her attempts at making a sound before wasn't there anymore and though it really hurt she tried with everything she had to call out Jennifer's name…


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N**

**Here's a bit of a lighter chapter, or at least I hope so :) Thanks again for all reviews!**

**Rating and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 26

The next couple of hours there was no change. Emily's vitals remained stable but she hadn't woken up yet. Jack had returned with coffee and sandwiches just a short while after Elizabeth and Jennifer had went to Emily's room and the blonde had somewhat reluctantly eaten a sandwich.

Jack had left the hospital a while ago. He was going to book a hotel room and take a shower and get some rest. Elizabeth had decided to stay at the hospital until Emily woke up. She was now sitting in the arm chair and flipping through a magazine while Jennifer was lying with her head on the side of Emily's bed and appeared to be sleeping. Elizabeth looked at the blonde every now and then and debated if she should go over there and wake her up. She was sitting in a very awkward position and she was bound to have a sore back when she woke up but she also realized how exhausted she must be so it was probably worth getting a sore back, at least she got to rest.

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Two hours later Jennifer was still sleeping and Elizabeth had gone down to the cafeteria to get some coffee and made a quick call to Jack before she headed back to Emily's floor.

Stepping back inside Emily's room with two cups of coffee in her hands she looked at the clock on the wall, it showed 8.37 PM. She was starting to get a little worried, Emily hadn't woke up yet and she was wondering if that meant that something was wrong. The doctors had their round at 9 PM which was soon so she would just wait till then.

She returned to her chair and put the coffee cups down on the small table by Emily's bed. She was about to reach over the bed and try to wake the sleeping blonde when her eyes landed on Emily's right hand and she saw that Emily's fingers were moving. Averting her eyes to Emily's face she noticed that her daughter's eyebrows were slightly moving and her lips twitched slightly.

"Emily? Can you hear me sweetie?"

Jennifer started to stir when she heard Elizabeth's voice. She sat up and slowly stretched out her back that was fairly stiff after being in a very uncomfortable position for the past few hours. She looked down to the hand that was holding Emily's when she felt a twitch. She stood up and looked at Emily's face and noticed that the injured woman had a slightly troubled expression on her face and that her mouth was twitching too.

"Em-Emily?" she whispered.

Elizabeth turned and looked at Jennifer and then back at her daughter. Was she waking up? Maybe she should call someone but there appeared to be no change in the monitors so she decided to wait a little while longer. They would be there soon anyway and as long as no alarm set off she was certain that Emily was doing okay.

"Je…" a very faint sound left Emily's lips and Elizabeth and Jennifer looked at each other again for a split second as if they were looking for a confirmation that both had heard that faint sound.

"Emily? Can you hear me? We're here sweetie, open your eyes." Elizabeth said softly and stroked her daughter's hair gently.

"Je… fe… J…" Emily's mouth was moving again and it became very clear for both women that she was trying to speak and that had to mean she was waking up.

Tears filled Jennifer's eyes but this time it was tears of relief and happiness.

"We're here Emily… Please come back to us… wake up…" Jennifer said gently and gave Emily's hand a tender squeeze.

"Je.. fer…Jen…" Emily was repeating the same syllables and Elizabeth realized that she was trying to call out Jennifer's name.

She turned and looked at the blonde.

"She's trying to call for you sweetie." Elizabeth said and smiled.

Jennifer met the older woman's gaze.

"Jenn… Jenni…fer…" Emily managed to say with a very raspy and weak voice but this time it was no doubt about what she was saying.

"I told you she would ask for you." Elizabeth said and smiled warmly before returning her attention to her daughter.

"I-I'm here… I'm here Emily… open your eyes… can you do that? Open your eyes…" Jennifer said with a teary voice and put her hand on Emily's cheek very gently.

She couldn't believe this was actually happening. It felt like she was finally waking up from this horrible nightmare.

Slowly Emily's eyes started to flutter and a bright ray of light hit her which made her close her eyes quickly again. Elizabeth reached for the bed lamp and directed the light away from Emily's face. Slowly she tried to open them again and as her eyes slowly adjusted to the brightness, Emily thought she saw a ray of blonde hair and instantly she tried to force her eyes open so she could see for herself that it was _her_ blonde that was standing in front of her.

It took a while to get her eyes to focus but as soon as they did and she saw Jennifer standing there beside her a huge wave of relief washed over her. She was alright… and she was there.

"You… you're…" she had to swallow and it felt as if a thousand knives was shoved down her throat.

"…here… you're… you're… here…" she finally managed to say with a barely audible voice but Jennifer heard her loud and clear and a quiet sob escaped her throat but she smiled widely through the tears in her eyes.

"I'm here… I'm here Emily…" she said with a voice that barely carried the words but Emily's weak smile indicated that she'd heard her.

Jennifer slowly leaned forward and pressed a soft and very tender kiss to Emily's lips.

"I'm here and I'm not leaving you." The blonde whispered against Emily's lips before she pulled back.

"I love you so much…" she whispered and gently stroked Emily's hair.

Emily looked into Jennifer's eyes and all the pain she was feeling kind of floated away as she lost herself completely in her beautiful blue eyes.

The feeling of another person present made Emily turn her head to the right and there she found her mother's teary eyes looking back at her.

"Mom…"

"I've been so worried about you… but you're going to be okay now. Everything is going to be okay…I love you…"Elizabeth said and kissed her daughter's forehead gently.

"What…"Emily had to swallow again which was extremely painful. Her throat was so dry and she desperately wanted some water.

Elizabeth noticed that her daughter struggled when she tried to speak so she grabbed the glass of water that was standing on the table and carefully brought the straw to Emily's lips.

"Here… take a small sip of this. The doctor will be in here any minute." Elizabeth said and Emily took a very small sip and it hurt to swallow but it felt a little bit better as the cool liquid ran down her sore throat.

"Wh-what… ha..ppend?"

"You don't remember?" Elizabeth asked and Emily shook her head.

"You were shoot sweetheart…" Elizabeth said gently and Jennifer squeezed Emily's hand which made the brunette turn and look at her.

Jennifer wiped away a tear that fell from her eye and Emily squeezed her hand back.

"But the doctors fixed you and you're gonna be alright." Elizabeth quickly added.

Emily had to take a moment to think back and try to remember what had happened.

"The… the r…raid…th… they knew… we… were coming…" Emily remembered.

Elizabeth nodded and Emily opened her mouth to speak again but Elizabeth stopped her.

"Don't talk sweetie. The doctor will be here soon, let him take a look at you first." Elizabeth pleaded.

Emily turned and looked at Jennifer who nodded affirmative and Emily nodded back. She would wait for the doctor.

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The doctor was pleased to see Emily awake and was astounded by her remarkably quick recovery from the surgery. She had a long way to go yet of course but her vitals were much better than they ever could have expected at this point and the fact that she was breathing on her own was nothing less than a miracle really. The woman was in excellent physical shape which strongly had a positive effect on her quick recovery.

Emily had been given some more pain medicine and the nurse had brought in a bowl of ice cubes that she could suck on to soothe the pain in her throat. Elizabeth had talked to Jack again and given him the good news and she decided to go over to the hotel to wash up and get some rest too. Jennifer instantly made it perfectly clear that she wouldn't be going anywhere and though Elizabeth really thought Jennifer should get some proper rest and get something to eat she wasn't going to argue with her about it. After making sure that the blonde promised to at least get something to eat Elizabeth left the two women and headed to the hotel with a promise of returning first thing in the morning.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Jennifer had very reluctantly gone down to the hospital cafeteria to get something to eat. She didn't want to leave Emily alone for even a second but Emily insisted that she would get something to eat so she went.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

When she returned Emily was sleeping and after kissing her cheek gently she took a seat in the armchair again and reached for Emily's hand and just studied the sleeping woman.

Emily didn't sleep long. She was instantly back in that bad dream where she was surrounded by darkness so she was very relieved to be waking up to a pair of bright blue eyes looking at her.

"Hey…" she mumbled, her throat felt a little bit better.

"Hey..." Jennifer said and smiled tenderly.

"Are you okay? Are you in pain?" she asked.

"No, I'm okay… just a bad dream…" Emily replied.

"Do you want some water?" Jennifer asked and Emily nodded so the blonde helped her take a sip of water.

Jennifer put the glass away and just looked at the woman in front of her for a moment.

"I've never been so scared in my whole life…" Jennifer whispered.

Emily looked into her eyes and reached for her hand.

"I'm sorry…" Emily said and squeezed the blonde's hand.

Jennifer just looked into dark brown eyes, full of life and her heart just filled with so much love for this woman that she thought it might burst.

"You… you turned my world upside down Emily… _completely_ upside down but I want you to know… I don't ever want to go back. I wanna stay in this 'upside down world' with you forever…"

Emily smiled and she could feel tears welling up in her eyes when she heard Jennifer say those words.

"The same day… the same day you got shot I… I found out that two of my colleagues were gossiping about me behind my back and I kinda panicked… I was so afraid of what they would say and think about me when they found out I left Nathan for another woman… I couldn't face any of them so I went back home and then later… later Elizabeth called…" Jennifer started. Emily just listened.

"When I came here you were in surgery and… and it didn't look good…" her voice broke at that last line.

"The thought about… the thought about losing you Emily… it scared me more than anything else… So what if my colleagues gossip about me? So what if I'll be the talk of the town? So what if everybody treats me differently because of this… So what? The only thing that matters to me is _you_… I don't care about anything else. I don't care about my job, it's just a stupid job and if my friends will hate me for this then they were never my friends in the first place. You are what matters to me and I know people will say that we don't really know each other because we just met but I know you… I _know you_ Emily and I know that my heart belongs to you. It was yours from the moment I met you and it will be yours till the day I die."

Emily had tears running down her face. She had never heard anything so beautiful in her life and she had never loved anyone more than she loved this woman.

"I love you Emily" Jennifer whispered before she slowly closed the distance between them and pressed her lips against Emily's.

Emily brought one hand up and entangled her fingers in Jennifer's soft hair and pulled the blonde even closer. Their lips moved slowly together and Jennifer savored every single second of it.

"I love you too…" Emily whispered against Jennifer's lips as they slowly parted and rested their foreheads against each other.

Jennifer kissed her again and then nuzzled her face into the crook of Emily's neck and Emily wrapped one of her arms around the blonde. It was the closest thing to a hug they could manage right now. Jennifer was still terrified she might hurt her so she moved very carefully.

"You should try to get some rest." Jennifer said as she pulled back and took a seat in the armchair again and took Emily's hand.

"I'm not going anywhere I promise. I will be here holding your hand so just get some sleep okay?"

Emily nodded. She was tired but she was afraid of falling asleep.

"I'm not leaving you ever again Emily…" Jennifer whispered and Emily met her eyes sensing that there was more meaning behind those words.

"What do you mean?" she asked softly.

"I mean that I'm staying. I'm staying with you… I'm gonna quit my job and I have some money saved so I should be fine for a while and hopefully I can find some kind of job here and-" Emily interrupted her.

"You're staying? You're staying with me? As…as in m-my place?..." Emily asked tentatively but with a hopeful tone in her voice.

"If you'll have me… I know it's way too soon but screw it, I don't care. I'm not leaving you ever again. I love you and I wanna be with you. I don't want to be four hours away from you, I want to be where you are so yes, I'm staying…" Jennifer said and gave the brunette a small smile.

Emily tugged at her hand and Jennifer got up from the chair and moved closer till she felt Emily's hand grab the front of her sweater and pulled her closer till her lips met the brunette's. Emily's lips captured the blonde's bottom lip and Jennifer parted her lips slightly and started to move her lips gently against Emily's.

"But you have to promise me to _never_ scare me like this ever again…" Jennifer mumbled against Emily's lips.

"I promise…" Emily mumbled back and captured the blonde's lips again.

They kissed tenderly for a while, no one wanted the kiss to end but Jennifer finally pulled back.

"I could kiss you forever…" she whispered as she hovered above Emily's lips. Her eyes darted from the brunette's eyes to her lips and back to her eyes.

She pressed one final lingering kiss to Emily's lips before she pulled back completely and took a seat again.

"You need to rest and let your body heal." Jennifer said as she noticed Emily's somewhat pouty mouth.

"But your kisses are the best cure for my condition." Emily joked and Jennifer chuckled.

Hearing Emily joke really made her believe that the woman she loved would be completely okay again and it made her heart soar with joy.

"Well there'll be more of that 'cure' _after_ you've rested." Jennifer said and winked.

Emily looked into Jennifer's eyes and her facial expression became serious.

"I heard you… I heard you before… when you asked me to fight and I want you to know that no matter what happens… I will _always_ fight for you, for us… always…"

Jennifer brought Emily's hand up to her lips and kissed it tenderly.

"I know you were scared and I'm sorry for putting you in that position but I'm gonna be fine. The doctor said I will make a complete recovery and I promise I will do everything I can to make sure nothing like this ever happens again." Emily said with a raspy voice. All the talking had started to make her voice a bit weak and she knew she needed to rest, she just had to say this stuff first.

"I will be okay Jennifer… In fact… I'm taking you skateboarding in the park next weekend." Emily said jokingly and winked at the blonde.

Jennifer just rolled her eyes and stood up to press a quick kiss to the brunette's lips.

"In your dreams Prentiss. Now shut up and get some rest." She said with a chuckle.

Emily smiled and closed her eyes.

"Are you doubting my boarding skills Jareau?" Emily said after a moment of silence, her eyes were still closed but a wicked smiled graced her lips.

"Just sleep already!" Jennifer said back and slapped her arm playfully.

"I'm telling you I can skate…" Emily mumbled.

"Emily, be quiet and go to sleep." Jennifer tried to sound firm but she had such a huge smile on her face that she doubted it sounded even remotely firm.

"You just… wait miss Jareau…I'm gonna… show… you…" Emily mumbled somewhat incoherent now, she was about to doze off.

Jennifer just smiled and kissed Emily's hand again as she watched the other woman fall asleep. She was so in love with this woman and she couldn't wait to start a new life with her.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N**

**Rating and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.**

Chapter 27.

Emily's recovery had continued to be heading in the right direction and she was released from the hospital ten days after she'd woken up.

Now, a month after the shooting, she had returned to work but not fulltime. She only worked a couple of hours every day and was bound to desk duty which obviously sucked but she wasn't about to argue.

Jennifer had settled everything with Nathan and their house. He'd bought her part of the house so now she didn't have any unfinished business in Green Bay anymore. The furniture she would keep, she'd arranged to be stored until further notice. The day after Emily had woken up Jennifer had officially quit her job and since she had some savings and got a reasonable amount of money for her half of the house she wasn't in any rush to find a new job. She'd just been getting acquainted with this new town that now was her home and of course, she'd been taking care of Emily. There were a lot of things that the brunette indeed could manage on her own but the blonde hadn't let her lift a finger if there was a possibility it could somehow worsen her injury. So Emily just let her take care of her and she enjoyed every single second.

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It still felt a bit unreal in a way, coming home to somebody. Emily couldn't count the times she'd been thinking that it was just a dream. A wonderful dream and she was certain she would wake up soon cause it really felt too good to be true. Every day when she came home from work, when she was standing outside the door to her, no… _their _apartment, she would feel the butterflies in her stomach doing summersaults just thinking about stepping inside where Jennifer were waiting.

Today wasn't any different but she was extra glad for the butterflies today. She'd had a shitty day really and she just wanted to snuggle up on the couch with her girlfriend and a glass of wine. Work had been, well a bitch really but it wasn't just the workload that had put her in a cranky mood. She'd seen her doctor today and she had her hopes up that she would be allowed to return to work full time but the doctor wanted her to continue work halftime for another two weeks. She was disappointed but the doctor reminded her that she had in fact been shot in the chest only a month ago and though she'd made a remarkably fast recovery, her body needed time to heal properly.

After her doctor's appointment she'd gone to work and when the pile of files on her desk didn't seem to decrease at all, well, her mood didn't exactly brighten.

Here she was now, outside their apartment trying to get her keys out of her front pocket while carrying two bags of takeaway Thai food and her work bag. Safe to say she wished she had an extra set of hands at that moment. With some effort she managed the task without dropping the food, which would have been a disaster cause she was really hungry and really didn't need anything else to make this day worse. Just as she turned the lock Jennifer opened the door from the inside.

"Oh hey! I thought I'd heard something." The blonde said and smiled when she saw her girlfriend's face.

"Hey, yeah… I had a little too much to carry I realized, so getting the keys out wasn't that easy." Emily said with a smile cause the second she met Jennifer's blue eyes her bad mood vanished.

"You should have just knocked."

Emily contemplated that for a second.

"Good point. I'll remember that next time" Emily said and winked.

Jennifer just smiled and leaned forward to brush her lips against Emily's before taking the bags out of her hands. Emily closed the door behind her and took off her coat before following the blonde into the kitchen where she'd already set the table.

"Aahhh it feels so good to be home" Emily sighed as she slumped down on one of the chairs.

Jennifer poured her a glass of wine and put it down in front of her and then stood behind Emily and put her hands on her shoulders. The brunette was really tensed but relaxed the second the other woman started to gently massage her.

"That feels really good…" Emily closed her eyes and relaxed even more.

Jennifer leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on the side of Emily's neck, just below her ear.

"How about we eat and then I'll give you a proper massage?" the blonde whispered and it made the other woman tingle.

"I wouldn't say no to that…" Emily replied and took the blonde's hands and pulled her so she came to stand in front or the brunette.

She entwined their fingers and pulled her down to her lap. Jennifer untangled their fingers and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's neck as she closed the gap between them. Emily's hand found their way under Jennifer's shirt and she caressed her back slowly.

"I missed you…" Emily mumbled against the blonde's lips before she deepened the kiss.

Jennifer tangled her fingers in Emily's hair and moaned into Emily's mouth when the other woman's tongue met her own. Emily's fingers were playing with the clasp on Jennifer's bra when the blonde slowly pulled away.

"As much as I'm enjoying this, and believe me I am…" she kissed her again slowly to prove her point.

"I'm also really hungry and I really need some energy for later…and so do you…" she mumbled against Emily's lips.

Emily captured Jennifer's lips again and slowly pushed her tongue inside the blonde's mouth and let it explore Jennifer's mouth very slow and seductively and she could feel the blonde starting to surrender in her arms. Her fingers started to work on Jennifer's bra clasp again and just as she was about to unclasp it the blonde gently removed Emily's hands from underneath her shirt and pulled back slowly.

"I hate you…" Emily mumbled.

Jennifer chuckled and got off the brunette's lap.

"We both know that's a lie." She said and winked before she pecked Emily's pouting lips really quickly.

"Let's eat and then I promise to take care of you…"

"I'm gonna hold you to that."

Jennifer smiled and then took a seat opposite Emily and started to open the takeaway food bags.

"Oh I haven't even asked you… How did the doctor's appointment go?" Jennifer asked as she served herself some of the satay chicken before passing it to Emily.

"I'm not allowed back fulltime yet…" Emily sighed and Jennifer could see that the other woman was very disappointed with that.

"I'm sorry sweetie." She reached for Emily's hand across the table.

"I'm just disappointed I guess… I kinda had my mind set on getting back full time, that the doctor would give me a clean bill of health you know… it's been a month but obviously that isn't enough time."

"A month isn't that long time considering what you've been through Emily. But you're doing great now so just give your body the time it needs to heal properly."

"Have you talked to my doctor about this? Because that's exactly what he said."

Jennifer chuckled.

"Obviously you have a very smart girlfriend." She said and winked.

"And oh so humble too." Emily replied witty.

"Shut up and eat already." She said playfully.

Emily laughed and smiled at the blonde.

"I'm still getting that massage later right?"

"If you behave." Jennifer said and winked.

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After dinner they snuggled up on the couch, Emily lay in Jennifer's arms with her back pressed against the blonde's front and Jennifer was playing with Emily's hair while they just enjoyed the peace and quiet.

"I really needed this. I haven't been in a particularly good mood today but coming home to you, to this, really makes me forget why I even was in a bad mood to begin with."

Jennifer smiled and pressed a kiss against the side of Emily's head. There was a moment's silence, Emily reached for one of Jennifer's hands and started to play with her fingers slowly.

"I love coming home to you…" Emily said gently after a few minutes of silence.

"I don't think I've told you that but I do. I love coming home and knowing you'll be on the other side of that door. It makes me all tingly." Emily said and blushed slightly, glad she had her back towards the blonde.

"I know most of the stuff here are mine but I hope you feel like this is your apartment now too. I just want you to feel like you're home cause I-" Jennifer interrupted her

"Emily, I could live in a shoebox for all I care, as long as you're with me. I'm not saying I would rather live in a shoebox than here cause I love it here, I just mean that it's _you_ who makes me feel like home. Where we live isn't important, it's you that's home to me. You are my home Emily…" she wrapped her arms tight around the woman who was lying in her arms and Emily just closed her eyes as she yet again was filled with so much love for this woman.

"I love you…" she whispered and Jennifer squeezed her even tighter.

"I love you too…"

"Come to bed with me?" the blonde whispered. Emily just nodded.

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Jennifer closed the bedroom door behind them and walked up to the brunette who was standing in the middle of the room with her back turned towards the blonde. Jennifer wrapped her arms around Emily's waist and started to place soft feather light kisses on her neck which made Emily tingle all over. She stroked Jennifer's arms tenderly but as she felt the tip of Jennifer's tongue slowly lick a path up to her ear and then the feel of those heavenly lips closing around her earlobe she slowly turned in the other woman's arms. She met dark blue eyes briefly before closing the short distance between them.

Jennifer entangled her fingers in Emily's hair as they kissed slowly yet passionately and tilted her head to the side so she could kiss her even deeper. Their tongues moved against each other in harmony, no one was fighting the other for dominance they just moved together in a slow, sensual kiss.

Emily hadn't even noticed that the blonde had started to walk them towards the bed, it wasn't until the back of her knees bumped against the bed that she realized they'd moved. She'd been completely consumed in their kissing. Jennifer broke the kiss and started to kiss her way across Emily's jaw and then up to her ear.

"Take off your clothes…" she whispered in Emily's ear and the brunette swallowed hard.

She started to unbutton her shirt which proved to be incredibly difficult as Jennifer kept licking and sucking her neck but she managed to get it unbuttoned and let the garment fall to the floor. Jennifer's hands moved to her hips and slowly made their way up her back where they unclasped Emily's bra which quickly joined the shirt on the floor.

Emily gasped as Jennifer's mouth started to travel south and she moaned quietly when she felt a warm tongue swirl around her nipple. Jennifer's hands had moved down to the hem of her pants which she quickly unbuttoned and started to pull down Emily's toned legs as her lips and tongue kissed a path down to Emily's stomach.

Emily could hardly breathe as the blonde placed open mouth kisses all over her stomach and with shaky legs she managed to step out of her pants before she was being pushed down onto the bed. Jennifer hovered above her and found her lips again. Emily was about to deepen the kiss when the blonde pulled away.

"Turn around… I believe I promised you a proper massage…" she whispered and Emily only nodded before she turned around.

Her breathing was ragged and she was so wet. She could feel her underwear getting sticky against her and she really just wanted to take them off but before she could proceed with that thought she felt Jennifer straddle her thighs and then the blonde's hands were all over her back.

Jennifer had removed her own pants and shirt so she was straddling Emily's thighs wearing only her bra and underwear and she wondered briefly if this was such a good idea. Feeling Emily's skin against her own always made her head spin and she realized that this proper massage she'd promised ,probably wouldn't be so proper after all. Not that she thought the brunette would complain. She tried to focus a little and started to move her hands over Emily's back and up to her shoulders.

Emily had a hard time trying to really relax cause she was so turned on and the feeling of Jennifer straddling her thighs, where she could actually feel the heat from the blonde's center against her own skin, made everything so intense. Jennifer's hand moved excruciatingly slow over Emily's back and with each stroke her hands moved lower and lower until they finally moved over Emily's ass and slightly down her thighs.

Emily was on fire and she really didn't know how much more she could take. Jennifer's hand had now deserted Emily's back completely and was now only focused on caressing her ass and thighs and when her hands wandered in under Emily's underwear the brunette couldn't take it anymore.

She turned around so quickly and pulled the blonde down on top of her and crashed their lips together. She quickly unclasped Jennifer's bra, desperately needing to feel the blonde's breasts pressed against her own.

"I need you…please…" she panted against Jennifer's mouth as her hands started to tug down the blonde's underwear.

Jennifer deepened the kiss as her own hands started to pull down Emily's underwear while Emily kicked her legs to help the blonde with the task. As soon as they both were free of the last remaining obstacle their hands simultaneously searched out the other woman's heat and Emily gasped when Jennifer pushed two fingers inside of her and had to take a second to compose herself before she could do the same to the blonde.

When Emily's finger slowly pushed inside her, Jennifer had to break their kiss to take a breath. She knew she wouldn't last long and by the sound Emily was making beneath her, she wouldn't last long either. She repositioned herself slightly so she could easily work her fingers in and out of Emily's wet core while she rocked her own hips against Emily's fingers. They breathed heavily and beads of sweat had started to form on their bodies while they pushed faster and deeper until they both collapsed in each other's arms as wave after wave of an earthshattering orgasm rushed through their bodies.

Their fingers were still buried deep inside the other as small aftershocks made their bodies tremble against each other.

"You're amazing…" Emily panted.

Jennifer lifted her head and met Emily's deep brown eyes. She slowly closed the gap between them and kissed her slowly. She couldn't get enough of Emily's lips, she honestly believed that she could kiss her forever. The blonde slowly withdrew her fingers from Emily's center which made the brunette tremble. She moved her hands up to Emily's hair and entangled her fingers in Emily's soft dark hair. She loved her hair, she loved the feeling of having those dark curls between her fingers. Emily's tongue teased the blonde's upper lip and when she parted her lips slowly Emily took the opportunity to slip her tongue inside the blonde's mouth once more. The kiss naturally deepened and as their tongues swirled together in a very heated kiss their bodies came alive again and Emily flipped them over, her fingers still inside the blonde.

Jennifer moaned loudly when Emily's fingers started to move inside her again and she was yet again surprised that her body could react like this. Never in her life had she ever been able to go for round two like minutes after an orgasm had rushed through her body. Usually once she got her release she was satisfied and her arousal sort of died down but with Emily… She'd just given her an earthshattering orgasm and now Jennifer was more than ready to go again. Emily left her mouth and gave her breasts some attention while she slowly continued to move her fingers in and out of the blonde's core. As the brunette's mouth traveled down Jennifer found it hard to breathe properly and when those soft lips brushed over her clit it was as if all the air was sucked out of her lungs.

"God Emily…" she moaned trying to catch her breath.

"I love doing this… you taste amazing…" Emily mumbled before she pulled her fingers out and pushed her tongue inside instead.

"Emily!...god…"the blonde panted violently.

She was so close and when the brunette pushed her fingers back inside and wrapped her lips around her clit and flicked it rapidly with the tip of her tongue the blonde was pushed over the edge again, hard. Her whole body trembled and she wasn't even aware that Emily had moved up and was now kissing her neck softly. She wrapped her arms the brunette and held her tight.

"You okay?" Emily whispered.

The blonde nodded.

"I love you…" she whispered in her ear and kissed the side of her neck gently.

"I love you to Em… God I love you…"

Emily met her eyes and just gazed lovingly into those beautiful blue orbs for a moment.

"You're so beautiful…"

Jennifer smiled and lifted her head slightly so she could press a soft kiss on Emily's lips before she pulled the brunette down and held her close.

After a few minutes Emily got off the blonde and snuggled up to her side instead, wrapping her arm over her stomach. Jennifer was so tired and as Emily placed feather light kisses on her shoulder she drifted off to sleep. Emily wasn't far behind.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Jennifer was the first to wake up the next morning. Emily was still snuggled up against her, sleeping soundly. She drew invisible patterns on the brunette's arm that was still draped protectively across her stomach. She looked up at the ceiling as her mind started to wander… Her father's and Emily's mother's wedding was two days away and though she was really excited for them she couldn't help but feel a bit scared as well. The wedding wasn't going to be a big one but there would be people there who most likely knew about the change in her life and she was worried how they were going to react.

Emily started to stir and as she opened her eyes she saw the blonde staring up at the ceiling.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked sleepy.

Jennifer turned her head and met Emily's warm brown eyes looking at her lovingly.

"The wedding… I'm just nervous I guess…"

"About what people will say?"

Jennifer looked down at her hands that were caressing Emily's arm gently.

"Yeah…" she admitted.

Emily snuggled even closer and placed a gentle kiss on the blonde's neck.

"It will be okay…" she whispered.

"I know… and it doesn't matter anyway. I'm not ashamed to be with you Emily and I really don't care what they'll think or say but it's just…" she trailed off. Emily knew what she meant.

"I know… It's not exactly an 'everyday' situation, I mean your dad and my mom is getting married to each other and their daughters are in a lesbian relationship, with each other so yeah, it's bound to turn some heads and make some jaws drop." Emily said with a chuckle and Jennifer smiled cause if she really thought about the situation, it was completely absurd and she laughed a little.

"It's a bit funny though isn't it?"

"I'm actually glad my grandparents are both dead cause having to explain this situation to them…well…" Emily shook her head thinking about that scenario and then started laughing.

She buried her face in the crook of Jennifer's neck and her whole body shook with laughter, the blonde started to laugh too.

When the laughter started to subside, Emily lifted her head and met beautiful blue ones.

"I get that we're totally unconventional and that this whole situation is rather unusual but still, I'll proudly walk beside you and people will look but let them look. We know what we feel and that what we have is real and none of the rest of it matters really. Our parents love us for who we are and no matter what we have their support, and your brother's."

"Yeah you're right, we have the support from the people that matters the most and that's the only thing that matters." The blonde agreed.

"And we have each other…" she continued.

Emily looked deep into her gorgeous blue eyes.

"Always…" she said softly and pressed a tender kiss to the blonde's lips.

"I'm gonna go take a shower. Care to join me?" Emily asked with a wink.

"Do you even need to ask?" the blonde replied and grabbed Emily's hand before pulling her off the bed and towards the bathroom.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

The wedding had been beautiful. Both Emily and Jennifer had to wipe a tear or two from their eyes as they'd watched their parents say 'I do' to each other. Elizabeth looked absolutely beautiful and Jack looked very handsome in a black suit.

The wedding party was in full swing and everybody was having a great time. The food had been great and now people were drinking champagne and mingling. A band was playing and some people were dancing. Elizabeth and Jack were dancing slowly together looking so in love and Emily and Jennifer was standing beside the dance floor looking at them.

"They look so happy." The blonde said.

"Yeah. They really do." Emily said and turned her head to look at her girlfriend.

Jennifer looked absolutely stunning in a light blue, sleeveless dress that looked as it was created for her to wear. Emily could hardly tear her eyes away from her and she had a really hard time keeping her hands to herself. She didn't know how the other guests would react to public display of affection so she composed herself. None of the other guests had said anything offensive or anything but there was quite a few looks but Emily really didn't care.

Jennifer had noticed that some of the guests looked at her and Emily and some were whispering to each other, and she was afraid of that and that it would make her feel uncomfortable but it didn't. Standing there beside her girlfriend who was wearing a beautiful red dress that made her look absolutely amazing, the blonde couldn't be more proud that the woman beside her was hers. She reached for Emily's hand and entwined their fingers as they continued to look at their oh so happy parents.

/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/

Later in the evening Emily wanted a moment alone with Jennifer, away from prying eyes. The blonde was currently dancing with her father and Emily watched them and saw how happy the blonde looked. As the song ended Elizabeth reclaimed her husband and placed a kiss on the blonde's cheek who smiled widely. Turning around she spotted Emily standing a few feet's away, looking at her intently. She slowly started to walk closer to the brunette.

"Hey there."

"Hi." Emily said and smiled brightly.

"Are you having a good time?" the blonde asked.

"Yes, I'm having a really good time. However I was hoping I could steal you away for a little while."

"I think that can be arranged." The blonde replied and winked.

"Come on…" Emily reached out her hand and Jennifer took it.

Emily led them away from the party and down to a beach that was located behind the celebration premises. Both women removed their shoes and enjoyed the feeling of warm sand between their toes as they walked down to the shoreline hand in hand. It was a beautiful and warm evening and really a perfect day to have a wedding party.

They walked in silence for a minute, they were all alone and all that could be heard was the sound of small waves rolling up in the beach and in the distance they could hear the band playing.

"Dance with me?" Emily asked.

"Here?" the blonde wondered.

"I've wanted to dance with you all night and it's not that I don't want to dance with you inside cause I really don't care about the looks, but I just wanted to be alone with you for a moment." Emily said and smiled.

Jennifer wrapped her arms around Emily's neck and smiled. Emily put her arms around the smaller woman's waist and pulled her closer as they started to move slowly together in the sand. Jennifer leaned her head against Emily's shoulder and closed her eyes.

After a minute or so Emily pulled back and gazed lovingly at the woman in her arms.

"Do you remember what I said that day when we first met? You asked me if I was married and I said that marriage really wasn't on the map for me because of the laws in this country."

The blonde nodded.

"Well, I think I was wrong." The brunette said and wrapped her arms tighter around Jennifer's waist.

"I think I want to marry you someday, and I'm not proposing cause when I do that I want to make it special and I want that day to be all about you, but I'm just saying… I wanna marry you someday." Emily said with a smirk and the blonde grinned like a fool.

Emily continued to amaze her and she still couldn't believe how lucky she was for having this woman in her life.

"Well, when that someday comes, I think I'll say yes." The blonde said and pressed her lips against Emily's.

"You _think_ you'll say yes?" Emily mumbled playfully against Jennifer's lips.

"Uh huh… I'm still not completely sure I've forgiven you for comparing me to a drooling dog so yeah, I _think_ I'll say yes. You have some major sucking up to do Prentiss."

Emily chuckled and pulled back slightly to meet her eyes.

"Man you're rancorous."

The blonde nodded with a playful look in her eyes. Emily smiled back. They just looked at each other for a moment and the smiles on their faces slowly died down as they looked into each other's eyes seeing nothing but love and both were filled with warmth as they pulled each other a little closer and held on a little tighter.

"So someday huh?" Jennifer asked softly.

"Yeah...someday."

**A/N**

**I'm sorry for kind of abandoning this story but I really wanted to finish what I started and wrap the story up so this is it. Thanks to each and every one of you who's followed this story **


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